WARNING! The Elders are coming.....!

by Sparks 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • Sparks

    Hi Gang. If you live in England, be exspecting a call this month from the Elders of your local Kingdom Hall if you have been dissfellowshiped,dissociated yourself or had any contact with the congregation in the past.....No it`s not coz they want their mouldy old books back; It`s some special effot ordered from Bethel to get you back.....( obviously because their numbers have crashed since that Panarama program last year,`Suffer little Chidren). I was out shopping, when an Elder from my local Kingdom Hall rugby tackled me.The sod had me cornered in a shop doorway for ten minutes...He told me that this special effort is for Febuary only, and because he said it`s come down from Bethel, I assume it`s only England. The theme they will be using to woo people back is; The only place you can get information about God`s purpose, and have a PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP with Jehovah God is at the Kingdom Hall...... ( this REALLY pissed me off, so I said;` Theres SIX BILLION people on this planet, the Jehovah`s witnesses are just a tiny-TINY minority.....HOW DARE YOU tell me, we out-side your religion can`t have personal relationship with God...!!!.cheeky bastard...... Needless to say, I walked off. Any-way, I just thought you should know their coming....

    Sorry this posts abit Telegram-ish, I`ve gotta shot off now, as I`m very busy training my Pit Bull Terrier to go after any male wareing a cheap Burton suit carrying a briefcase, with a Holyer than Thou/super-silly-ous self-rightous look on his face.....To give my dog the JW scent and right taste, I`ve been feeding him Watchtowers. ( Warning: if you intend doing the same, please for the sake of your dog and carpets, DON`T feed him with Awake! magazines As this causes insomia and worse...CHRONIC diarrhoea. My poor dogs butt looks like that map on the beginning of Bananza.....For more info on the effects of Awake! magazines, see my post in Whats the dumbest reason you`ve been councilled) BFN..Sparks .

  • jazbug

    According to the KM, that reindoctrination process is taking place in the US Jan.,Feb., & Mar. Aren't we lucky ...oops...fortunate?

  • garybuss

    My poor dogs butt looks like that map on the beginning of Bananza.....

    Rolling on the floor laughing @ Sparks . . . Hahahahahaha

    I love it!!!!

  • William Penwell
    William Penwell

    I mentioned to my mom about the 5th Estate ptogram that was aired last week here in Canada. She said that if I wanted the "Truth" to read the WT web site. Seems that there is some direction coming from the old farts in Brooklyn. Again how arrogant these A** H*** are thinkung they are the only ones that have the "Truth". The unfortunate thing is in a close knit cult this is the way they keep control of the rank and file members.


  • neyank

    Hi Sparks,

    They've been trying here in the states already.

    I've gotten a couple of calls already.


  • onacruse

    Sparks, your sense of humour had bikerchic and me rofloao! Welcome to the forum

    I've been in this same town for 40 years...I just hope that when the elders come a-callin they don't recognize me on sight and run back to their car; then we can have some fun, eh?

    Actually, if I can keep my emotions under control, it would be a great chance to maybe help them see how ludicrous the WTS is. A little reverse-witnessing.


  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    My attitude is live and let live. If they let me and mine alone then I won't bother them. However, if they come over to my house to lift their leg on me, then I'm hitting them with everything I've got. I'm ready and I won't run or be afraid. I stood up to them 14 years ago, and I'll do it again.

    "Lay on MacDuff and damned by he who first cries 'Hold! Enough!'" -- Macbeth

    Edited by - big tex on 8 February 2003 16:21:2

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Ready and waiting

    hope they will find me here in Canada

    Edited by - Lady Lee on 8 February 2003 16:29:59

  • Cassandra Cain
    Cassandra Cain

    You talk too much!They are comming!!! They are comming!...


    ~Cassandra Cain~

  • Sparks

    GOD...!!! How I love that American / Canadian spirit..!!!!You Guys are REALLY fired-up arn`t you....Shit, I wouldn`t like to be in Iraq`s shoes.......or any Eders shoes for that matter..with you lot.BLOODY HELL..!!! What have I started here, WORLD WAR THREE..???

    Thanks guys, I love you all. Sparks

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