What do the children think?

BLISSISIGNORANCE

After my child was sexually abused I found myself wondering, not only about how to help my child cope with the actual crime committed, but also how would I deal with the organization, the pedo, the other congregation members etc, and how would the way I dealt with it all affect my child (victim) and the other siblings?

The borg expected me to leave it all to the elders (only the 2 that knew about the crime) and the rest to Jehovah. OK, but then I got DF for trying to protect other children in the congo because the 2 elders weren't. So now it's all a little more complicated, not only for myself because of my feelings about the borg, but also for my children. How would they now view me and what message would I be sending out?

So sexual abuse of our children is not just about how to cope with the crime but it's also about the message we as adults are sending to our children, the severity of the crime and about where our loyalties lie.

My child dealt better with the sexual abuse than my DF. After being DF my child took the blame for what had happened to me and felt guilty. This led to months of night terrors, night mares, disturbed sleep, not wanting to leave my side, school problems, just to name a few. Counselling seemed the only way to get through the difficult time, seeing as though the elders and congo members never showed up for a visit or a shepherding visit. My family was left alone to deal with it.

So 1 year later I was reinstated. What did my children think of me and what I was doing? Crawling back to the borg that allowed the pedo to roam the KH and yet DF me. They must have got some pretty wierd messages from that. They must have thought I was mad, I do now looking back! So that's a big part of why I left the borg. When I realised that sexual abuse in the borg is not uncommon, but worst still, that DF of the victim is a standard way of covering up the problem and silencing them..................well, I had to consider very seriously what it all meant to my children and how it would affect them as kids and ultimately as adults. My loyalty is with my children, especially when they have had their innocence taken from them and some are trying to tell me to put up with it. NO WAY. Power to the family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I welcome your opinions and comments.

Bliss.

Prisca

You did the right thing in leaving, and standing up for the children when no one else would. ((((Bliss))))

How are your kids now? How has your leaving affected them? Do they still want to be JWs?

barry

gday Bliss,
I agree with Pris that you probably did the right thing in youre case. A more desirable outcome would be to take on the elders about the issues after all there are too many good people leaving it is youre religion and things wont improve if these cases are handled in such an unjust way. There is no moral direction for youre kids or the rest of society and unless those in charge take the problem in hand the good name of the religion will be questioned by the rest of the community eventually. At the church I attend I take the members, ministers head on for much less than has happened to you and I wont back down. I have apologised for taking over a meeting but not for my opinions. Barry

ozziepost

They must have thought I was mad,

Bliss,

You'd be in pretty good company, for our kids think the same of us!!! Most that is, although we're not too sure about the one you know the most.

BTW we'll be home latish tomoro evening or all Sunday evening. Ring Sunday evening?

Cheers, Ozzie

Gizmo

Hi Bliss,

I hope you child is ok Bliss.

Leaving the borg was a huge step in the right direction for the protection of your family, I was just wondering though, have you taken it any further? Gone to the media with the circumstances?

Crawling back to the borg that allowed the pedo to roam the KH

What's happened to the perp, is he still around? Have the Elders marked him for the other parents in the cong to know not to allow their children to be alone with him?

I know I'm asking a lot of questions, but from what I have noticed of abuse victims, confrontation, and reporting the offender is a step towards recovery, at least for some.

I'd be interested to know how you are personally dealing with this crime.

Hope all is well with you and yours Bliss

BLISSISIGNORANCE

Hey guys, thanks for your responses. Much appreciated.

Well, to start with, Prisca..............my child is fine. I've been told by counsellors that I've done a great job in helping my child recover by making my child feel safe, loved and NOT guilty! Most important. My other children left the borg when they hit their mid teens, at first I thought it was just rebellion because of their ages but it was obvious that what had happened to their sibling and me was the greatest cause of their leaving. They don't want to have anything to do with the wts. As for myself and hubby...............some deep scars and paranioa, nothing too damaging. LOL
Barry. As we discussed in chat tonight, you really don't understand how the WTS operates from the top down. Corrupt elders, mind-control, power hungry men, and blind followers makes for a scarey organization. For the ones who stay there it's obviously, 'if you can't beat them, join them'...........For the rest of us, it's more about 'get out of her my people if you don't want to share in her sins' The fish stinks from the head down, I don't want to start to stink and rot like them.
Ozzie, a bottle of good wine, some strong, sharp cheese and several hours..............and we can convince eachother we are not mad. I can't wait to ring and I will on Sunday night. Love to Mrs Ozzie.
Gizmo. We are all alot better since we left. We hung around the borg for too long seeing the perp. hanging around, playing with kids etc. The whole thing is very long and complicated but we did go to the authorities, we did report the incident, we would have taken him to court except that we were advised by the detectives that it would probably be very traumatic on our child at such a young age in court, the elders assured the authorities that they would monitor the pedo and give him bible-based counselling, etc etc. The elders lied and the pedo was often left unsupervised around other children, would stare at my child through the meetings and smile at the rest of my family, mocking us at every opportunity. He wasn't baptized so they just removed him as a publisher. No one ever really knew what he was capable of and what he DID, his family always covered for him and exposed others to him. For all I know he may have abused others.........how would anyone know? The only good news for now is that he no longer goes to meetings but associates with inactive JWs and can still have association with JWs and children of course. My child knows that there is not statute of limitation, if he ever wants to take this animal to court later on, we will support him 100%. I have spoken to the media and would be prepared to do so again..........anything to expose this cover-up, anything to help little kids stay safe.

Thanks for all your support and kind words. Keep well,

Cheers and ciao.

Bliss

HoChiMin

Bliss;

Sorry to hear this, and glad your out of the WT.

My child dealt better with the sexual abuse than my DF. After being DF my child took the blame for what had happened to me and felt guilty. This led to months of night terrors, night mares, disturbed sleep, not wanting to leave my side, school problems, just to name a few. Counselling seemed the only way to get through the difficult time, seeing as though the elders and congo members never showed up for a visit or a shepherding visit. My family was left alone to deal with it.

The crime committed against your family looks to be the major cause of the problem and reactions from your child (victim). It's a horrible organization and the ideals they instill in their members are false (disfellowshipping). I get angry when I hear incidents like this from any source but to have it made worse by WT police is beyond comprehension.

HCM

avengers

YES YOU SHOULD STOP PLAYING WITH THEM. Give these kids the money you owe them.

The WT is listed as a shareholder under the name of:

WATCHTOWER BIBLE & TRACT SOCIETY OF PENNSYLVANIA

ATTN TREASURERS OFFICE

DOMESTIC CASH MANAGEMENT

25 COLUMBIA HTS BROOKLYN NY 11201-1300

Percentage held: 5.51%

If you go to http://www.jpmorganfunds.com/index.jsp?uuid=F11404F1E66B3AD4-10390318391991990&fund=2252&team_id=3 and click on "Fund Profile" under "Fund Literature", it will tell you that the fund assets are $1.69 Billion. If you take 5.51% of that $1.69 Billion comes to $93,119,000. That is some serious money!

BLISSISIGNORANCE

Thanks HoChiMin and avengers.................appreciate your replies.

And Joy, I'll email you soon.

The WTS was never going to shut me up. I don't care who sexually abuses, a JW, a Mormon, a priest, an aunty or uncle....................it's wrong and they can do what they want, I'll never stop talking out against it. We all have to do what we can to expose it, wherever it is. Break the cycle! Break the silence at whatever the price. So many people say 'if anyone touches my kid I'll ....kill, castrate, beat the crap out of, hang etc..............the pedo'. That's extreme and in reality most don't ever go down that road. But speaking out is very effective and sends strong messages.

My family is fine, the child as well. We left, not without damage, but we are survivors. We survived because we did what our consciences told us was right.

Cheers,

Bliss

Gizmo

Thanks for replying Bliss, I appreciate how difficult it must be for you and your son.

My child knows that there is not statute of limitation, if he ever wants to take this animal to court later on, we will support him 100%. I have spoken to the media and would be prepared to do so again..........anything to expose this cover-up, anything to help little kids stay safe.

I am very happy to have read there are no staute of limitation laws pertaining to child abuse/paedophilia, as I'm fairly confident that in time, if your son hasn't been able to shake this completely and if he so wishes, he'll have somewhere to turn.

Well done Bliss!

What do the children think?

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