dating service?

by happysunshine 45 Replies latest social relationships

  • onacruse

    hahaha...Time now for me to pass along what everybody kept telling Katie and me this last summer:

    Sheesh, you guys...GET A ROOM!



  • joannadandy

    Narssicistic libra with split-personality and self-depricating nature nymphomaniac seeks male with heavy equipment for long walks on the beach and deep and spiritual conversations during heavy-duty sexual congress. (Must be able provide your own towels and/or mops). Spirited at 23 with ample pillowy goodness I seek a male to fluff said pillowy goodness. Mmmm...Male! Most interested in finding a mate with similar interests, such as:

    • Obese animals
    • Hot oil massage
    • Ancient Icelandic artifacts
    • Post-modern literary criticisms
    • Tag-team crocheting
    • Educating the public about Satan's footgear (a.k.a The Rollerblade)
    • Working hard at raking manure at my Unicorn farm
    • Monkey Domination
    • Spirited games like Hi-Ho Cherry-O, CandyLand, and my all time favorite Chutes and Ladders
    • Prophecy through mashed potato readings
    • Creating an inner circle to surround myself with made up of uneducated, sycophantastic, nepotistic Mormons
    • Learning the internatinal language of esperanto
    • Weaving leather harnesses
    • Creating a new perfume, "Withering Scorn" because it is cheap to make, for , as you can see, I posess that pheremone in vast quantity.

    Please send all earnest replies for intense sexual exploration to: [email protected] and title them "Hot Monkey Lovins for Jo Jo Bean" I also welcome any theological discussions pertaining to Armegeddon, because I swear to you on the day of Armegeddon, the shuffleboard stick and the hockey puck will rise triumphant over Satan's Shoe- The Rollerblade!

    Edited by - joannadandy on 5 February 2003 21:43:46

  • not interested
    not interested

    ummm, Joanna,

    i think i love you, im all about the monkey lovin, and that withering scorn scent drives me crazy!!!

  • Trauma_Hound

    Name - Belzabub, Satan, The Dark Lord

    Age - 10,000+

    Height - 10'

    Weight - Infinity * pi

    Hair - Firey Red

    Eyes - Black as opals

    Status - Single, and looking for some good souls to steal.

    Interests - Death and distruction, murder and mayhem, the apocolypse (as soon as a bunch of guys in brooklyn decide when it's going to happen.)

    Wants - Cute, Slim, Girl, with big boobs, for a firey good time.

  • Sirona

    Hey, TH, maybe we'd be right together. I'd be well into the Dark Lord.

    Not got big boobs though, they're medium sized. Pay for my boob job?


  • SYN

    SWM (Single Witty Mandrake), financially secure (if you consider owning a car that's older than you are "financially secure"), "athletic" body (i.e. pencil-thin), looking for someone to spend time with, preferably doing one of the following:

    • Pursuing programming bugs that are so obscure and subtle they have been known to cause seizures in people prone to mental illnesses.
    • The tabulation of enormous amounts of conspiracy theories.
    • Repetitive bashing of head against wall when discussing "faith" with Fundamentalists.
    • Looking for gHod by any means possible, but preferably something that involves women running about starkers under a full moon.
    • Scaring the living bejesus out of small veld mammals such as antelopes and lizards for fun.
    • Insane giggling whenever a truly ironic/utterly ludicrous post is read on JWZone.
    • Laughing at Dubs. Over and over.
    • Bursting into gales of giggling every time you hear phrases like "Governing Body" and "Faithful and Discreet Slave".
    • Running away from people in suits on street corners at high speed.
    • Using small rolled-up Watchtower magazines as lethal interpersonal weapons during meetings.
    • Spending excessive amounts of time discussing why the Governing Body is a bunch of glorified windbags on crack, and how they should be removed. In great detail.
    • Understanding that you will never bonk Pamela Anderson, no matter how much you want to.
    • Waking up entire neighbourhood in the mornings due to engine noise from the faulty exhaust pipe of said car.
    • Rushing about all over Johannesburg in a car without a functioning cooling system under it's bonnet, and stopping at every second petrol station to refill the radiator's water tank.

    If you think you can keep up, drop me some mail.

  • joannadandy

    SYN--I think we need to meet to discuss romantic possibilites...especially concerning this little gem:

  • Scaring the living bejesus out of small veld mammals such as antelopes and lizards for fun.
    As long as said mammles are not obese, I am ok with this.
  • Elsewhere

  • pr_capone

    SWEET!!!!! Elsewhere is apparently looking for a red x!

  • Jesika

    LOL @ pr

    I only see a red x too.

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