Hey SS,you are a reflection of so many of us..One step at a time,the imporatant part is not begrudgeing yourself that step.Thats the best anyone can do...OUTLAW
The Real Me
Shame makes one want to literally dissappear.
What a profound statement!
Infact all of it was profound!
I enjoy your posts too.
My parents used heavy shame based discipline, as well as the physical stuff.
SS, let me tell you about a mantra that works quite well for me for such things, you may have heard of it: "ZAPP! you", or the variation: "ZAPP!* off" - it's basically the same idea. Also, it works quite well when used with the well recognized mudra where you extend the middle finger while flexing the other four.
Now, let me be clear that when I say this, I do not mean you'd say it out of anger, (though if you happen to feel angry, feel free) but it is rather like the second mantra where one basically take the dismissive attitude toward the fu.. I mean umm, the shamer if you will. Of course, the spiritually correct thing to do is to take it all in, process the crap out of it until you become totally enlightened and such, which is all fine and good of course, but the fact is there is only so much time in a day, and there is also the very important factor of doing what is natural for you. The fact is, though, I imagine you really have processed it enough to practice this technique with sincerity, from the bottom of your heart. I'm certainly not saying to ignore all that stuff, but I prefer the direct method myself. Anyways, suffice it to say that it is not necessary to do a microbiological stool test to know that crap is crap, human or otherwise.
Edited by - Englishman on 3 February 2003 6:35:19
I somewhat agree with INTRO. Blow your parents and how you were raised off. As adults we sooner or later have to break away from Mom and Dads influence, especialy if mom and dad were lousy parents. If you are aware of the error in the way you were raised then you are aware enough to put it behind you. Not everyone who has kids are cut out to be a great parent. Many people with kids are terrible parents. See your child for what it was, learn from it, and move on. You do not owe anyone anything. You do owe yourself, self respect and self love. I had a EVIL mom and will not go into the abuse I suffered. At this point I do not hold any grudges because long ago I basically took INTRO advice and told her to....Well you know. Now I am happy and living my life without her negative influence dragging me down.
It is not easy to follow INTRO advice but I do think he is on to something.
I hope you had a happy Imbolc.
I look forward to your posts about who you are as you find yourself.
Best of luck.
There are some good suggestions here.
OK I'm sure i read your book about that.
Good points. That scripture takes on a whole new meaning if one is proving to himself, not somebody else.
Very sage advice. That would work, in addressing certain feelings or visualisations.
Thanks to you others as well.
Thanks eman. I see you had your zapper charged and at the ready