DEVASTED by Wife Leaving...

by confuzcious 84 Replies latest jw friends

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  confuzcious

  9 of 6,

  This is not a joke, but sorry if I don't believe in the mantra that you have to have a mourning period or you need time alone.

  If my wife leaves me for someone and won't return my calls or doesn't want to work it out, there's no badge of honor to be sad - when they aren't sad themselves.

  What's my other choice?

  Sit around and be miserable to prove I love her?

  If someone else is willing to be kind to me and I'm kind to them and it's romantic, then I think it's a good thing.

  You might need this one day, but the quickest way to get over a lost love is to find someone else to love.

  My wife isn't coming back, so excuse me if I decide to enter a new relationship.
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  confuzcious

  But yes, 6, I do live life on the quick, lol.
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  WildHorses

  Con, you said it had been about a year since you last cheated on your wife, before she left you. Is that correct?

  Well, my first husband cheated on me with the babysitter. I stuck around for almost that long after he cheated. See, I wanted to make it work even after he broke that trust because we had a child together. You know what? With each passing day, I hate him touching me even more. To the point where I would almost vomit when he did. That is when I finally left him. I was tired of being sick of him and what he did.

  Maybe it took your wife that long to realise life is worth more than living with a man who makes her sick.
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  confuzcious

  Wild,

  Yes. It was almost one year to the date. Hmmm.

  I guess the thing that is confusing for me is that during that past year, there were some really good times. However, there was a patch of about 2 months where her personality totally changed.

  We discussed it and we narrowed it down to some medication she was taking (hormonal). Actually, interestingly enough, she took the hormones (perscribed by doctor) to get her period going again since she was on the pill for 10 years.

  During that stretch we were trying to have a baby. But ever time we would drink with friends, she would go into her tirade about me being a cheater.

  That didn't happen before that 2 month window. I mean, don't get me wrong, I took my lumps with her before that, but the problems were REALLY bad then.

  We talked it over, and we decided that the medication was the problem. She got off of it and then for about another 2 months, things were really fine and dandy.

  But then she up and left after I started doing my research on the Internet etc.

  So yeah, I could see your point. But it still confuses me because when she left, things - I though - was on the up swing.

  Sorry for your husband cheating on you. Your pain must be great. Thanks for your post.
• 

  Skeptic

  Hey Richard,

  Thanks also for your post.

  Your welcome, confuzcious

  This is not a joke, but sorry if I don't believe in the mantra that you have to have a mourning period or you need time alone.

  Sit around and be miserable to prove I love her?

  You might need this one day, but the quickest way to get over a lost love is to find someone else to love.

  My wife isn't coming back, so excuse me if I decide to enter a new relationship.

  I agree. Whether you need time alone depends on you and on what happened in your marriage. I personally think you do need time alone, but I certainly am not going to judge you. I just hope neither of you gets hurt if what you two have is a "rebound" relationship. But if both of you enter into it with your eyes wide open, you two should be OK.

  confuzcious, people will wonder how you could be devastated by the loss of your wife and yet you could enter into a new relationship so quickly. Don't sweat it. No matter what you do, people will criticize it. You live your life the way you want, because you can't please everybody. It looks like you learned your lesson and that you won't try to hurt anyone.

  Some of the people who are criticizing you don't give a rat's ass if people play games with hearts. So their opinions about you have little value to me. They have no business telling you what is reasonable behaviour in matters of the heart.

  If you need someone to talk to, email me and I will send you my contact info.

  Richard