Mrs. Eden sends her regards to you all .... =)
I have been re-hashing some of your older posts Eden and the conflicts you and your wife have gone through.
That you have both weathered this storm is truly commendable and not to be belittled .Kudos to you both .
I can understand Mrs Eden `s choice of going back when she did , because it is/was her comfort zone ,
My wife can relate to that , she even says that to me today , ignorance is bliss , we had a good social life in the "truth" however once you know the TTATT , you can`t undo it. Also it totally ignores all the negative aspects of being in this religion.
I wish you both well and hope you both continue to support one another for the rest of your lives together.
We've been discussing this for a couple of weeks now. Mrs. Eden has a tendency to make decisions quick and radically, and, as you might imagine, she would rather leave abruptly. But that's what she's done the last time, and the earthquake it generated, especially on the family, ended up with her going back in once she was vulnerable after her mom's death.
So now I'm advising her to make a slow fade. She's dreading the pressure coming from some people in the congregation, namely the Bethel-heavy sister that gave her the 'recovery bible study', and her fleshy sister, who is married to a CO. Also a couple of close friends she has in the congregation.
Her sister calls her every second day and always asks if she has attended the last meeting, sends her "spiritual" emails and text messages, reminds her to watch the latest "wonderful" videos and broadcasts from the mother Org, ... you get the picture. "Loving control". Besides ... we suspect that her sister and the Bethel sister that gave her the bible study are in contact behind the scenes. Any advice for her on how she can perhaps handle this kind of soft pressure?
Hello Mrs. Eden, Congratulations
Hello Mrs Eden
Welcome to the forum and all the support you could need (including hubby). Xx
Wow......what a spiritual "smothering" your wife is being subjected to. Basically, it's spiritual abuse. Those two need to find a new hobby project, and stop harassing your wife. That level of constant "up in yo' business", is not acceptable to me.
It's her younger sister, married with a uber-CO.
Sweet woman, but also shows signs of obsession with little details. And, like her husband, they live 24/7 within the Watchtower bubble. It's all about the Organization, the brethren, God's creation, the future paradise, the preaching work, the experiences ... soo very tiring, and quickly becomes annoying. Seems like they don't know how to have a conversation about anything non-'spiritual'. My son used to get sick every time we would go out for a meal with them. They pounded and pounded on him about pioneering, a career in Bethel, dangers of high education .... sheesh!
This is what my wife is up against.
It would probably be wise to limit contact with them. Use the next email to say "thanks for all your help. I am going to be busy with family matters for a while."
Just keep saying that she's fine and doing well until they get the message to back off.
If Mrs Eden experienced any of the following she is being spiritually abused.
Unfortunately spirit abuse is rampant among high control religions.
- Submission – Requires that others completely adopt their point of view. There is no room for differing opinions or questioning their authority. Name calling, chastising, and the silent treatment are common maneuvers into compliance.
- Labeling – People who don’t comply with their beliefs are seen as disobedient, rebellious, lacking faith, demons, or enemies of the faith.
- Public Performance – Demand perfection and happiness at all times. Religious activities such as attending church have extreme demands, excessive expectations, and rigidity.
- Legalistic – Strict adherence to their rules and regulations are commanded with absolute statements about insignificant issues such as hair color or style. Non-compliance is met with severe discipline and even excommunication.
- Segregation – Use secrecy or withholds information to a few select worthy individuals. Estrangement from extended family members and friends outside of the religion. This includes shunning, alienation, or persecution.
- Blind Obedience – Is expected. They have replaced religion with themselves and people are expected to worship them.
- Abuse of Authority – Use position or authority to connive for their personal benefit which is often financial. They justify the behavior by saying they deserve it.
- Fraud – Engaging in criminal misconduct or cover up the transgressions of others in the name of their religion. This includes covering up sexual abuse, physical abuse, financial felonies, and misdemeanors
I`m sorry if this sounds blunt , but your wife needs to determine whether her beliefs /faith is founded on facts or emotion .
If her beliefs are founded on emotion ,devoid of facts , you have an uphill battle of ever freeing her from the manipulative control of the WTB&TS.
If on the other hand she is receptive to the facts about the J.W.`s presented and fully agrees with those facts you have hope that she will see the religion for what it is.
If she fluctuates from one view to another then back again I`m afraid she is a lost cause , described in the Bible she claims to believe as like a cork in a sea going this way and that way according to the waves .
In other words , a person who cannot make up their own mind , but is influenced by others who they think know better than them.
I truly hope things work out better for you both
my husband ran interference. I left first, cold turkey. Because of reading "what to expect when leaving", I'd given him the heads up as to what to tell when they call or came by his place of work. Depression, leaving it in Jah's hands, etc. He never went back either. I think ours was a fade without a fade. I read info online and within that day I knew it wasn't the truth. I was mad. We had 2 adult children still in, about 3 of them were out before us. (have to say on a side note, we've notice they, the last 2 are missing meetings more now. Not asking just supporting what ever they need from us)
I'm glad hubs kept them off.
EdenOne that's awesome news!
We're so happy for you. You've both been through so much. Big hugs from me and Mrs Stumpy.