Dan Fitzwater used to....

by LFitzwater 10 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • LFitzwater
    LFitzwater

    Dan Fitzwater used to pull his daughters pants down to beat their butts well into their teens. Dan, of course is a child molester. The only other man I knew that did that is also a child molester!

    IMO, ANYONE that knows of an adult pulling a childs pants down to spank them should report that person to the police and/or social services RIGHT AWAY!

    As far as beatings amoung JW's. I have been in at least 7 congergations as a JW. IN EVERY ONE OF THEM parents were highly encouraged to take their children back to the bathrooms for a spanking if the child did not sit still. Some parents complied with that more than others. I was told that I should take my 6 month old to the back for a "swat" because she was restless. I took my child back and nursed her instead. I was too weak of a person to tell that elder that I could not do that to my child. I would like to face him now. I saw so many cases of children, very young children, getting their butts beat. I wish I could go back in time and put a stop to it. I wish I had spoken up long before I did about abuse.

    One elder I will never forget, was "helping" a young mother who was raised as a witness but not baptized. He would take her 2 year old out to the parking lot and beat him with a switch from a tree. She followed suit. I saw her in the bathroom one day. She took her son to the stall and took her shoe off and started hitting him. I ran out of the bathroom and out to the parking lot and just cried. No one else seemed to think this was wrong. And there I was as a 20 year old mother of two KNOWING it was wrong and doing and saying NOTHING. I feel ashamed for the things I saw and did nothing about.

    There was sexual abuse too. I knew that my best friend was being sexually and physically abused. I went to an elder ( I was 15 at the time) and told him. I was told there was nothing they could do. I said that I wanted to go to social services. I was told not to as it would bring reproach on Jehovah's name. I did as I was told and said nothing. I carry a lot of guilt for that. My friend was abused for 3 years after that. She is a wonderful person who has never blamed me for my silence. She has forgiven me, but I cannot.

    I eventually was DFed for questioning the elders for the way they handle sexual abuse cases. I wish it had not taken me so long! I WILL NEVER LOOK THE OTHER WAY AGAIN!!!!!!!!!

    Laurie Fitzwater

  • blondie
    blondie
    I WILL NEVER LOOK THE OTHER WAY AGAIN!!!!!!!!!

    I know that feeling, Laurie. I was in the restroom about 3 years ago and a mother came in and was beating a little 3 year old with a spoon. (will I get in trouble if I say that black women tend to do this more in my area. It is a learned thing, is it cultural?)

    I am somewhat disabled so was sitting in the sideroom for the mothers. But I got up quickly and grabbed the spoon and broke it in half and threw it out. I told her that was wrong. Imagine hitting a child to get them to stop from crying! I talked to her for about 15 minutes as I calmed the child down. I helped her find resources outside the KH to find a better way to discipline. The woman did not get upset at me, she was just doing what her mother and grandmother had done to her.

    But you are right, Laurie, if we see abuse inside or outside the organization, we must speak up and do something or we become part of the problem.

    Blondie

  • minimus
    minimus

    Since the Society's position is that a parent has the God-given right to use corporal, physical punishment, (as long as it's not considered a true "beating"), I wonder how you can tell a parent HOW to discipline their kids. BTW, I'm not in agreement with beating your child,"since he will not die". But, let's say you slapped the hand of your child, lightly, to administer a form of discipline, would you consider this an assault? I know some that do......Laurie, your comments were touching!

  • avengers
    avengers

    Laurie, you're a winner.

    I'm honored to be able to address you this way. You have a good life you hear. You deserve it.

    Andy

  • kelsey007
    kelsey007

    Thank you for sharing! I was a victim of such punishment as a child back in the 50s and 60s. Harsh it was. Though I was never sexually abused it was severe. The kind of fear that it put into one as a child was not a healthy, respectful fear. Back in those days such punishment was commonplace and well accepted in the oorganization. And if you cried it got more severe! No, it was not good. It left a permanant wedge between me and my father that never quite healed.

    As I grew older and my eyes were opened as to the religion we were a part of I did begin to forgive my father. He was a simple and sincere man who bought the dogma and really believed that he was doing right. They stole his entire life from him, my childhood and a good part of my adult life.

    Thanks for taking the time to post this.

  • blondie
    blondie
    I wonder how you can tell a parent HOW to discipline their kids

    Believe me, minimus, the average person knows the difference between giving a child a light slap and when a child is being beaten. It is interesting that in the US that even the most heinous criminal is not legally punished with any corporal punishment let alone a beating.

    Punishment/discipline does not equal hitting. There are many more effective ways.

    Just as it is the responsibility of someone to step in when child abuse is suspected, so too physical abuse. And true no one has the power to make anyone do anything.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/Print/0,3858,4343535,00.html

    It is too bad no one in the congregation or the family stepped in to help Laurie Slack.

    Blondie (will always face up to abusers)


    Witness on the watchtower

    Stephen Bates
    Saturday January 26, 2002 The Guardian

    The letter from JR Brown, director of the office of public information for Jehovah's Witnesses in New York, spoke fondly of the Guardian, pointing out that "our journals, Awake! and the Watchtower quote from it extensively." Sadly, his opinion had changed as a result of a four-paragraph article I had written last November.

    The story was a particularly terrible one. Larry and Constance Slack, a devoutly religious couple from Chicago's south side, had been accused of beating their 12 year-old daughter Laree to death with a length of electric cable, 5ft long and almost an inch thick, after she could not find her mother's coat quickly enough for them go out on time one Saturday evening.

    They had beaten her in accordance with Deuteronomy 25, verses 1-3, prescribing 40 lashes' chastisement, minus one, as authorised by Jewish tradition, but then zealously reproducing St Paul's punishment (Corinthians 2:11) by multiplying it three times. The child, whose mother Constance administered some of the lashes, died after being beaten 160 times. Mrs Slack is a nurse.

    The couple's five other children - one of whom, an eight year-old boy, was also beaten for being unable to find the coat - were ordered to help hold Laree down. She was gagged with a towel to prevent her screams being heard.

    But what disturbed JR Brown about the Guardian's report was not the shocking story itself but the fact that the Slacks were described as Jehovah's Witnesses. He helpfully appended a statement from Leon, Larry Slack's brother, insisting that the couple were not devout witnesses. Although baptised as JWs, "for the last 10 years they have not shared in our worship services, although there were a few relatively short time periods that they would sporadically show up at meetings.

    "To physically harm, abuse or kill others is diametrically opposed to the Bible principles we believe in and strive to practice... among the qualities we study about in the Bible... are.... love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, mildness and self-control."

    The Jehovah's Witnesses have reason to be nervous about this case. A series of court actions concerning child abuse are pending across the US, and the sect's guidelines are coming under scrutiny because they appear to hinder any investigation of allegations made by children. They recommend, for instance, that complaints be investigated only if abuse is observed by two independent witnesses, and that any documentation arising from an inquiry should be burned rather than shown to outsiders.

    The Watchtower does not prescribe 117 lashes for children, but it certainly endorses Proverbs 23:14: "Do not withold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die." Line four of song 164 in the Witnesses' hymn book, Children: Precious Gifts From God", chirrups: "He says 'Use the rod, yet with tenderness and loving care'."

    The organisation has been in almost daily expectation of Armageddon since 1914, and keeps members in line by predicting a grim fate for non-believers - known privately as birdseed - since, in fulfilment of Ezekiel 39:18, their bones will be picked clean by crows. In particular, since September 11, they hope no one notices that their standard depiction of the onset of Armageddon is a jet plane crashing into a New York skyscraper.

    The Watchtower holds that "theocratic war strategy" can justly be used to deceive outsiders: "In times of spiritual warfare, it is proper to mis-direct the enemy by hiding the truth. It is done unselfishly; it does no harm."

    Presumably, this is JR Brown's precept in his letter. A trawl of Awake! and The Watchtower reveals few references to "the Manchester Guardian" in the last 20 years - certainly none current quoting from it extensively - and those there are appear to be distortions, or outright reversals, of what our articles said. As with the Bible, the interpretation is wrenched out of context.

    But there's a deeper, nagging, thought here. Why is the Watchtower so keen to abandon the Slacks to their fate? Surely a Christian religion should not deny its followers, however repugnantly they have behaved? Did not the example of St Peter on Good Friday lay down a few guidelines here? It can't be, can it, that JR Brown believes that ordinary folk - birdseed, Guardian readers - might think that JWs' reading of the Bible allows such a misunderstanding?

    We await his next response with interest.

    Stephen Bates is the Guardian's religious affairs correspondent

    Edited by - Blondie on 29 January 2003 8:14:39

  • abbagail
    abbagail

    Laurie, you have great passion and compassion. I was choked up reading your entry. Hugs to you.

    Thanks blondie for that article. I don't recall seeing that one before. Stephen Bates, he's too good. He cuts JR no slack at all, as it should be.

  • Cassandra Cain
    Cassandra Cain

    Laurie Hug

    I Drew and animatied this for u ^_^

    ~Cassandra~

    Edited by - Cassandra Cain on 30 January 2003 16:55:20

  • LFitzwater
    LFitzwater

    Thanks to all of you for being so supportive. I've had a bit of a tough time lately and it feels good to have some encouragement.

    Special thanks to Casandra for that great picture!! It is much appreciated.

    Laurie

  • oldcrowwoman
    oldcrowwoman

    Hi Laurie. This Kathi from Minneapolis. Wanted to say I admire your courage in sharing your struggle. Certainly a huge step for you. I am proud of you for speaking out . For most of us did'nt have good role models for parenting. To give yourself a pat for recognizing the differents. You did the best you could. Feeling shame can put a damper on our relationship with self and others. Sharing with others dispell the power that shame has over us. Self-forgiveness comes in layers. Took me a long time to figure that out. Glad you're here . All the Best, Kathi

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