A passing thought when driving past an inactive JWs place today.

joe134cd

I'm going to tell you of a family I knew of when growing up as a JW. She was a solo mother who had 2 daughters and these 2 daughters were absolutely stunning both physically and personailty wise. I remember thinking at the time how commendable it was that such beautiful looking women would choose to stay in the organisation. Fast forward a few years and the family all be it for the mother are inactive. I was driving past their house the other day and I see these 2 daughters out side. OMG how far they have come ( I mean this negatively). Fat, ugly, Ciggies hanging out of their mouths and beer in hand, and look worse for wear.

I couldn't help but think why people make the choices they do and the consequences they bear. To be honest I don't think the situation can be totally blamed on the JWs. The mother had separated from the farther, and I think he had been abusive etc. They ended up having children to men who like their farther were absolute dead beat drop kicks.

But like I said before I just could help but think when I saw them out side, how such beautiful women who at the time had so much going for them ended up the way they did. Oh well those are my thoughts for the day.

Pete Zahut

My first thought after reading your post was that maybe the family you knew, has moved and the women you saw that day weren't the same ones you used to know. ( hope so )

My second thought was that often, when people leave the JW's and don't have a firm conviction that they were right in doing so, will sometimes gravitate towards the things in life that aren't worth having or doing, simply because they feel they are now wicked. They subconsciously think that since they aren't JW's anymore, they are part of the wicked world they've heard oh so much about. Instead of realizing that non JW's can lead clean healthy productive lives, they go straight toward the destructive behavior that is always highlighted in JW literature and in the stern admonition at the meetings.

Ships are safer when they are tied up in the harbor, but ships were designed to sail the seas and be useful. The vast majority of them are able to safely navigate the stormy seas unscathed. Like a ship tied up in the harbor, there is a certain amount of protection from bad habits (smoking drugs etc) that can be attributed to the JW way of life. However, like the ship that safely navigates the sea instead of staying safely tied up in a harbor, people who cut themselves free from the overbearing restraints and misguided and untrue teachings of JW's, can and often do, live a healthy positive life without being bound forever to a cult.

SecretSlaveClass

Pete I couldn't agree more, I've seen a few of the exact type you've described. I call them wild horses that broke the corral.

millie210

Pete you write such lovely and insightful posts. It is a pleasure to come behind you and read your thoughts.

I had not thought of the scenario that you mentioned and we very probably will never know what really went on but it serves as a reminder of how deeply complex the issues are that arise from all things JW.

Before I read your thoughts, my own were leaning in the direction of finding out that the two girls married men similar to their father.

Abuse and the repeat of the pattern and all that goes with it was what I was thinking.

maninthemiddle

Pete, excellent analogy, I love it and hope I can remember it.

My second thought was that often, when people leave the JW's and don't have a firm conviction that they were right in doing so, will sometimes gravitate towards the things in life that aren't worth having or doing, simply because they feel they are now wicked. They subconsciously think that since they aren't JW's anymore, they are part of the wicked world they've heard oh so much about.

Ive seen even first hand how people can go down this path, for any reason, wipe other thinking they are not worthy due to not being mentally free, or not realizing exactly what you say, there is no dichotomy in life, many people people make choices that don't lead them down a destructive path.

Scully

Or maybe the behaviour is deliberate, intended to keep JWs away from them.

LisaRose

I think that sometimes when people leave the Jehovah's Witnesses, it's not because they realize it's a lie, it's because they do not want to conform to the JW way of life. In that case, their leaving is a negative thing in their life, one that does not end up well for them.

Sadly, they are used as an example of what happens when you leave "the truth", not an example of what happens when you make bad decisions. The mind control that is part of being in a cult sometimes affects people long after they leave the cult.

jws

I didn't go to, but saw pictures of my 25th high school reunion. My weight's been up and down and often on the heavier side. That's my self opinion of myself (my worst critic). Looking at the rest of my classmates, I would have probably been one of the hotter guys. I have an ex-JW friend, found one of the girls in our old congregation. While she used to be thin and cute, she's got a body about like her mom now.

While we can blame all of this on JWs, but many people go downhill. Genetics kicks in. Personally, I feel some people don't really know how to take care of themselves. You see them always ordering high-fat foods, never exercising at all. That may work when you're in you're young. But 10, 20 years later, we can hardly recognize them.

Pete made some good points and I've seen that behavior (helped my niece who left but felt guilty to realize she left a false belief, which eliminated her guilt). Me, it wasn't guilt or feeling bad. Just being denied things and wanting to try them.

berrygerry

Seinfeld episode "The Library" and Sherry Becker.

Dark Knight

What a judgmental post. You know hardly anything about these women, other that they're inactive, and you call them fat and ugly.

Poor form.

A passing thought when driving past an inactive JWs place today.

Share this