"While I love my two children very much, I feel today I should never have had them."

by running_away 29 Replies latest jw experiences

  • slimboyfat

    I didn't think the aim on the piece was catharsis so much as openly antinatalist. In other words not for the psychological benefit of the parents making the comments, but to influence younger people to remain childless.

  • TD

    Are we talking about Corrine Maier herself (Who, like the OP appears to regret having children too soon) or those readers who regretted having children altogether?

  • running_away


    "do you believe the expression of regrets and negative thoughts about the decisions you've made vis-à-vis your children and your spouse are always legitimate?"

    "I with I was never a JW", "I wish I have never born", "I wish I have order something less spicy", "I regret that last Cider".

    Expression of regrets are quite common, I think. I have hear tons of parents saying something like that sometimes (about religion, kids, spicy food, Cider and other mundane things). They don't hate them, just they are just tired, perhaps.

    But, truth be told, this is the first time that I see an article as serious as you expect of the BBC, about regretting kids in the words of normal, everyday mothers. In any case, sometimes we feel that we should have done something different, and we talk openly about it, but never about the kids.

    Again: it is not about what I feel or talk about this topic, was about the article.

    To answer your question: Once or twice a year I wish I could do family stuff different, and I will think about it for about 10 minutes, daydreaming about how could possibly be my life in other circunstances. This one was the first time ever that I discuss the point with someone that is not my wife. The rest of the time I enjoy a lot listening Taylor Swift and playing Mario Bros with my kids. I do truly enjoy it.

    I wish I did wait a little longer to bring them to this world, just a few more years. Also I wish they never grow old, and keep giving me little kisses as they do.

    Now: time to pick them up from school!


  • slimboyfat

    The comments and framing in general of the BBC article.

  • slimboyfat

    There is a large and growing antinatalist sentiment. It is more than simply catharsis.

    When this book first came out many people thought it was a joke.


  • TD


    Once or twice a year I wish I could do family stuff different, and I will think about it for about 10 minutes, daydreaming about how could possibly be my life in other circunstances.

    As do I.

    A good example would be marriage to an active JW because it has not been without its frustrations.

    But to express regret about the decision as a whole? Even were it true, (It's not - I'd marry her again in a heartbeat) "Honesty" (IMO) does not justify the irreparable hurt it would cause.

  • Fairlane

    Regretting a type of life you may have had without the children you now have, or regretting having children because they now cramp your style is imo at the least a disregard for the value of their innocent existence. ..anyone thinking this way should have a serious talk with themselves.

  • ShirleyW

    Anybody remember when Dear Abby posed that question back in the 70's I think, and the majority of folks said they shouldn't have had kids.

    I think there's a lot more people that are out there that won't admit that they wish they had waited or didn't have kids at all. As the saying goes "wait till you have kids of your own" that's probably the number one truest statement ever said . . .that's why I don't have any! I've observed my whole life how parents raised kids, never appealed to me.

  • Simon

    Wow, I can't even imagine how anyone can even think this, never mind put it online for their kids to find - how cruel?! Kids are just the best ...

    I miss every moment of ours as they've grown up. I always love the "now" version of them, they are young men now more than kids, but I do miss all the other versions of them when we used to do different things together (yeah, building a wooden train-set and using *every* piece of track really impressed them).

    It seems like each generation is becoming more selfish. There will always be times when life would be more convenient if you didn't have them but would anyone swap all the great times for those few? People should really think about the commitment before deciding to have them ... they're not puppies that you can take back to the pound (heck, I can't even imagine anyone doing that!)

  • steve2

    Perhaps this is the price of trying to have everything and then realizing it isn't such a hot thing after all.

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