The Long Goodbye......

by hillary_step 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • ZazuWitts


    I'm sorry that your initial welcome here was so hostile. I think many of us are in 'different places' after leaving, or being kicked out of the WTBTS.

    My husband, larc, sent you an e-mail, and I also hope you will keep in touch. Maybe, down the road, you could check in again, let us all know how you and your wife are doing?? I, personally, thought you had a 'voice of reasoning' to your posts. Not too many of us disengaged from the organization overnight. The journey 'out' can often be a twisted path...and at the end we may well find ourselves in different
    'houses.' It's just my opinion, but I think you appear to be the sort of man who will find just what you are seeking. Wishing you a safe and happy journey. Zazu

  • PullMyFinger

    Hi H-S,

    I came into this late. I read this post and was amazed at the extremely polarized responses you received -- civil and uncivilized. Then, I found your previous post and once again -- Ouch! Your wife is very wise with her advice to you concerning this board. To any objective reader, you have taken the high road again and again. I may not agree with everything you say, but you certainly conduct yourself with great amounts of dignity and class. It's too bad you've decided to leave -- you would have been a valuable resource for many of those making their way here. But, it's your journey and, of course, you get to do it your way. I wish you and your wife success and happiness.

    Not such a classy guy,

  • IslandWoman


    You are right on! BTW you are a classy guy!


  • PullMyFinger

    Why, thank you Island Woman! You're obviously classy too.


  • Sunchild

    HS, I'm sorry you feel you have to leave, though I understand your reasons. And truth be told, I DON'T understand why some members gave you such a hostile welcome. No, I don't agree with every single word you've said (that would be rare indeed), but I don't see anything disagreeable about the way you've presented your views. Unless I missed something, you haven't yelled at anyone or called anyone names, or even been disrespectful. ::scratches her head:: Must be something in the water.

    Well, in any case, goodbye and good luck!


    "Most men complacently accept 'knowledge' as 'truth'. They are sheep, ruled by fear."
    -- Sydney Losstarot, "Vagrant Story."

  • patio34

    Tina, good points IMO. It seems like a lot of contentiousness will be removed from the board for a while. For reasons not entirely clear to me--as I don't want to devote the time to clarify it--Hillary's posts stirred up a lot of rancor.


  • Simon

    You make some very good points hillary_step. I'll be very sorry to see you go.

  • Magdaleen

    HS, the sooner you get the hell outa here the sooner we can all live in peace in this (virtual) happy valley without troublemakers like you and your differing viewpoint around to bother us!! -


    ps. good luck HS, I for one am going to miss you, ah at least I think I will, ...waitaminute.....uh........hang on, there's a NOTE TO MYSELF I posted somewhere around this board. I think I need to read right now.

  • Roamingfeline

    Hi Step,

    I have just started coming around again to the board, after a hiatus of a few months. I'm sorry I haven't been able to get to know you before you left. I was touched by your letter to the board. You made some VERY valid points, and I hope people take it to heart.

    As RedHorseWoman said, this board used to be a place where the "high road" was taken the majority of the time, but since the H20 posters have flown in, it's been a bit of a mess, and I hope it rights itself one day soon. I'm sorry to see you go, but I completely understand.

    BTW, I live in Perth, Australia, but I'm a USA citizen, originally from Missouri, which was where I attended a congregation for 20 years. I completely understand your point about not getting stuck in a place that is somewhere between the WTS and "Real life". I applaud you and your wife for striking out in a different direction. I do think it's the better one in the long run. Good luck to you in your endeavors. :-)


  • Abaddon

    I'm a long time contributor at the board.

    It's interesting to compare two boards with similar purpose.

    I would say this board is more theistic and has a more International mix.

    Tishie's board is more atheistic and mostly American... at various points I have been the token Brit, but thankfully have a handfull of compatriots now.

    I think support boards such as these are where extraordinary care and concern for people can be shown.

    They can also be little bitch-fests. Sorry for the gender specific nature of that, it's meant to apply to both men and women in the way I am using it.

    They also go through cycles; I'm new here, but Tishie's board was truly great (the only place you could go at the time where you could meet with other xjws who weren't going to try and sell you a new religion) during its golden age, and is on a strong upwards thrust at this time. I don't see any logical reason why this board would be any different.

    You have trouble makers come and go, or come and learn not to make trouble and stay. You have people who aren't trouble makers but are too deep in what they're going through to react well all the time, people whose mindsets are still heavilly influeneced by the Borg perhaps without them realising it, people who are bitter and angry, people who go potty if people express theistic beliefs, people who get upset if people comment critically on their beliefs. People who are, let's face it, not that smart, people who are totally up their own arses, people with breath-taking breadth of knowledge, wise, wise people who can say everything the way you wish you had said it as they say what you wanted to mean. Nice people, nasty people. It's all here, whereever here may be. And then of course you have the misunderstandings, the baggage people bring with them, blah blah, and of course, blah.

    I really think it's totally unsurprising that a board for people going through transitions gets a little stormy at times. These boards cannot realistically be expected to be nice little tea-parties with erudite and stimulating conversations all the time.

    My posting has varied (on Tishie's board) from multiple daily to once every few months. Sometimes it's 'cause I get tired of seeing it all happen over again. Oh god, not ANOTHER thread about the (insert topic here).

    I know what I think about things, I've moved on, I have a wonderful life, and although I am still affected by my life as a Witness I have moved on. I am 'over' it.

    Why do I still post? I can understand the point made in Step's post about moving on. Well, I still post as I love spiritied discussion.

    And I post as there were people who were further along the road than I am when I started to post, some of whom I've 'caught up with' or 'passed' (not that it's a contest), some who have stopped posting, but people helped me when I needed it and I would like to do the same.

    I don't think that's a big deal, or anything that big, it just seems the right thing to do.

    I do not imply that those who stop posting don't care. I very rarely take anything personally, and can ride out storms without it bothering me... although I do make a fool of myself at times by getting holier than thou when I think someone is being picked on...

    Some people really get bothered by that sort of thing, and maybe they need to move on. The last thing I think anyone of us really wants to do when someone moves on is stab them in the back...

    ... if we did we'd just be doing what the JW's do when someone turns away from them, and I don't think there's one person that wants to do that, not if they really think about it.

    If that's me being holier than thou, well, holy away, my ass is graa and thou art lawnmowers!



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