Just had this sent to me. I am not sure if its being posted before but I got a laugh out of it.
Jeff Foxworthy: YOU JUST MIGHT BE A JEHOVAH'S WITNESS IF....
If "pioneer" is not a stereo, "new light" is not something in the
housewares department and "tract" has nothing to do with land
or farming.
If you know when Nisan 14 of the Jewish calendar lands in the
Gregorian calendar from year to year, and yet you commonly
forget your own birthday.
If "Memorial Day" isn't in May.
If you spent days at a baseball stadium, never saw a ball, and
didn't even have a beer.
If you think "formal clothing" and "civic center" belong in the same
sentence.
If you wash windows or cars for a living and still own five suits.
If you think nothing of letting your friends stop by to use the
bathroom.
If you know the cleanliness of every coffee shop for four towns around.
If you think 2-door vehicles aren't really cars.
If you go to Home Depot and go down the aisle where doors are displayed
and you feel compelled to knock on them.
If you can't buy a pair of shoes without thinking about how comfortable
they will need to be while walking residential streets in 95-degree
heat.
If you have a tendency to refer to books by color instead of by title.
If you have a shelf just for 192-page books.
If you can't pick up a book, or anything else to read, without picking
up a pencil or highlighter too.
If you think it is complimentary to refer to someone as "a study".
If you have "get-togethers" rather than "parties".
If, after one of such "get-togethers" at your home, your house is not
a mess and you have more food than when you started.
If you realize things are getting worse, and you're thrilled!!