Where do I stand?

by Bubba99 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • Bubba99

    I should have mentioned that my spouse has not commited adultery that I am aware of, nor does she plan to. She is a man hater, was raised by a man hater and has no plans to remarry or get involved with any man, at least for now.

    I guess it just becomes a standoff as to who can go the longest.


  • battman

    Welcome bubba!
    I am now standing in the "ready to be remarried" line.
    However, I am in stealth mode* till the "happy day".
    *aka "inactive" in that I still talk the talk, but not ready
    to walk the walk, except for not walking the unscriptual
    d2d exercise. lol (see below discovery)

    My story is somewhat similiar except my wife, baptized 1975,
    of 31 years asked me to move out. I guess my spirituality*,
    bapt 1981, was "weakening" hers. She refused the elders
    strong recommendation that I be allowed to move back home
    so I could exorcise proper headship. LOL, as she always had
    almost total freedom in most areas of our life together.

    *i started to sleep thru most meetings and almost never studied
    the WT. This was after I voluntarily followed a CO's reguest
    to move to another cong. as a MS to help out. I was the only
    one from our cong. to make the move although 5 elders and 5 MS
    were also asked. End of story: I was deleted by a superfinre elder
    due to my daughters worldly friends. This eldo was practising medicine
    without a lisense, or training!!!!! LOL, actually very sad. His
    pioneering must have qualified him some how to diagnose and to
    dispense sample drugs, which he took from the job where he worked.

    Richard K. is his name. I wonder where is is now??? He would
    be the one with decayed teeth due to the "times" we live in. Ditto
    too for his wife and two kids. There seems to be many versions of
    the "abuse" topic. I moved back to original hall but had lost all
    motivation and never reached out again after advancing to the
    point of having the "privedge" of giving a public talk. LOL.

    I was still in "lala" land when I was sep. from my wife and until one
    is placed into a situation, divorce in my case, others do not have a
    clue to how bad, desperate, suicidal one can become. I went to
    the elduh that I studied with prior to 1981 dunking and was told he
    "did not want to get involved" as he was friends with both of us.

    Now that the divorce, mutual decision, is final he is telling "others"
    that I am to be considered BAD ASSociation due to the fact that I was
    the "one" seeking the big D. I stayed in bed for the next three days
    and cried my heart out after hearing this news. Depression sucks!!
    and is damn dangerous. How does he know the details when I was
    in the middle of it and still not totally sure what the real "truth" is.
    Some of it due to my being a real jerk, probably too often. LOL but true.

    So nice to ssoooooo sure of oneself. In any event I just could NOT
    beleve that a loving just god would want me to live alone the rest
    of my life. So I started studying all the WT stuff and started asking
    lots of real questions, not the prepared study article ones. The more
    I studied WT and NWT stuff the more stuck I became due to circular
    reasoning, etc. Then I saw in the United book that the WT said the
    NT was primarily for the GB, I mean the 147,666, ah the FD&S, would
    you believe the ............ (fill in the blank).

    Then came a simple finding!!!!!

    I started comparing word for word the WT Emphatic Diaglott to the
    WT Kingdom Interlinear Translation and discovered some of the "Trooth".

    In Acts 20 when Peter was telling, only the FD&S, that he taught them
    "publiky" and in your (big) houses not "house to house" I started to see
    new "lite". The E.D. renders the greek word for house as houses. However,
    the KIT renders it as house to house which comes directly from the
    much vilified by WT King James Trans. Now why would they do such
    a thing?????? Follow the money, just follow the money. It takes just
    one discovery and the whole darn thing collapses, I should have built
    my house on real stuff.

    Also, in reading the intro to both these books I finally understood how
    unoriginal and varied the greek is, plus all the translations that obviously
    have there own agenda. I was shocked and very depressed, not at all
    joyous to discover all this. It has been almost a year down this road
    but I finally am coming to grips with my situation and trying to grow a
    tiny bit in the process.

    This board, wonderful posters that is, are a huge resouce.

    They are there when you need them, but I also see what happens if I
    was to cry wolf too loud and too often. There are times when we do
    need a kick in the .......... and that way we can keep our eyes on reality.

    To sum things up, it is such a knee jerk reaction for the elduhs to say
    NO NO NO you can NOT blah blah blah. As A.E.N*. might say: "it is
    much easier to get forgiveness that permission", unless you are dealing
    with the elduhs or my wife for that matter. LOLOLOLOLOL

    That is the real problem, no real genuine love and esp. no forgiveness.

    Best wishes on your journey and pass on to others the "real news"

    of the "steath" class / wot me worry??

    *A.E.N. is a friend of the very funny Farkel. Check him out when he posts. LOL

  • VeniceIT


    It's interesting to really see what Jesus meant by what he said! He said that a man that divorced his wife put her as victim of Adultery! (or something like that you know what I mean)! What you have to do is think about who he was talking to, and what it meant to them! In that time, what would happen to a woman who was divorced? How could she support herself??? What choices did she have? At that time the main income a woman in her posting could have was prostitution, thereby she would be commiting adultry! I think Jesus was saying that since she would have to be a prostitute if they divorced her, then she'd be sinning in God's eyes and the husband would have put her in that situation. Nowadays there are a lot of other things that a woman can do for work, to say nothing of alimony . HAHA so I don't really think that God would frown on you for remarring, especially since She divorced you and you didn't leave her in a vulnerable situation.

    I'm not saying this is 100% fact, but it makes sense to me!
    Just my two cents worth, it's good to have you on this board, and I'm sure you'll love the gang. Where just one big happy family, with a few in-laws .

  • messenger

    if you want to remain a jw you better not do anything till you get the goods on your wife. if she is remaining within the wt this will be more difficult as she will no doubt become more active to show how bad you are. the elders manuel says the word adultry in the first part of the sentence. that is the key word, somebody has to commit adultry to be free in wt world. if she left the organization and you were to write a letter saying she confessed to committing adultry the elders would have to take your word for it unless she decided to prove otherwise and at that point it would be considered between you and Jehovah from the elders standpoint. this is stated in a 70's qfr i believe. i think your best option is to just wait a few weeks, most claimed "man haters" will screw anything that moves in short order. all you need to do is watch and wait. that is if you want to avoid the jc.

    hope this is helpful,

  • Francois

    If you have doubts and want out and you still have family in the borg, I suggest you just fade away. No letters, no disassociation, no fighting, no nothing, just fade out. That way you get to keep the best of both worlds.


  • mommy

    I saw you in chat today, and just want to say again Welcome I left the org at the tender age of 18. I really am not up to the laws of the org on this matter so I can't help you. What I do want to share with you is my outlook on life. Why would God make you suffer for the childishness of another human? He has read the heart of your wife, are you to carry her burden? My God is not like that, he wants me to be happy. I wish you the best of luck, and will be praying for you.

    I do so love when you post! You make so much sense

    This board, wonderful posters that is, are a huge resouce.

    They are there when you need them, but I also see what happens if I
    was to cry wolf too loud and too often. There are times when we do
    need a kick in the .......... and that way we can keep our eyes on reality.

    Thank you! I say take the good, what works for you. And leave the bad, what hurts you

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