Circle of friends

by mommy 17 Replies latest social family

  • mommy

    I have a circle of friends. The kind of friends you can pop in whenever you are in the area, without a phone call first. The kind of friends I would allow to enter my house if I wasn’t home, to borrow sugar, flour, toilet paper, etc, if they needed it.

    We are a close knit group and watch out for each other. We help with the kids, the marriage problems, and celebrate life together. But recently a problem has come up in our lives. A new friend, and outsider, who is making problems for all of us.

    Most of us were leary of the new friend, but accepted him on the basis that he was a friend of a friend Unfortunalty he has shown his true colors. He is no longer in our circle of friends, but the damage is done.

    He reported all of us, 4 families into Child protective services. This is a government program that looks into allegations of child abuse, and removes children from the home if a problem is there. Many who live in America know that this is not a foolproof organizaton. Many of their mistakes have been blasted across the covers of newspapers countrywide.

    I held my other friends hands as they came into their home, undressed their children down to their underwear, went through their home, looked in cupboards and under couches, asking question after question. This is surely a very humiliating experience, not to say a violations of their rights.

    Then the day came, I received the knock at the door. I answered it and was told that an interview had already been conducted with my children at school. I asked why this was done without me being there. They had allegations of child abuse in the home. They told me they needed to come in and look around.

    Well at that moment I refused to be a victim. I reminded her I was the one who told her of the confession of our fallen friend that he did this only to punish us. She said, “ I realize this but once a claim has been made we are to investigate.” OH MY! You mean I could tell you that I saw the President slap his daughter and you would need to investigate the White house for proof of the allegation?

    No, not today. I will not have you come in my home and violate my rights because someone made a phone call. Commen sense shows that all 4 families were “turned” in, couldn’t she use her judgement? Ok, she did concede and said she wouldn’t come in the house but I would have to sign a statement that my children are not being abuse in my home. But then it was too late, I was livid. I have never had to sign a paper telling others what my intentions were with my children. This is not even required when I got pregnant, or when I had my children in the hospital.

    Well today the director of the program came to my home. Same conversation, different person. It ended up that they are going to get a court order because I am obsructing and interfering with an investigation. By their own admission the only obstructing I am doing is not allowing them to search my home. It doesn’t matter this investigation is a complete fraud to begin with! Anyway to make a long story short I will just wait and see, if they deliver the petition today I have 5 days before it goes before the judge. The good thing is that they have to reveal the identity of the person who made the the report. Maybe the Judge will be able to see how violated we all have been.

    Why am I telling you? I want to know how you feel about this. Should I concede and let them come in? Should I remain, as I have always been, a mother taking care of her children. I am interested in your thoughts. Thanks

    wendy(I am not backing down class)

  • thinkers wife
    thinkers wife

    Oh Wendy,
    I knew there was something wrong, last night. (you know what I mean) I am so sorry this is happening, unfortunately I have absolutely no experience in this area!! I wish I knew what to say. I do understand why you are holding your ground!

  • stephenw20

    I am sorry as well that this is happening. Keep your chin up we are here.......

    Its really ironic on this forum with all the stories we hear of legitimate abuse and no policies are adopted, from so called christian men to inusre childrens safety. Makes you wonder if we all dont need to complain LOUDER>>>>>>>>>>>>


  • expatbrit


    I'm really sorry to read what you're going through. I'm SURE that everything will come to the right conclusion.

    Be yourself and no-one will doubt your care and love for your children.

    Thinking of you, and sending many best wishes.


  • larc


    I think the first thing you should do is get a good attorney and find out what your rights are. If they want to search your house, I think your attorney should be present to make sure they don't plant evidence.

  • mommy

    Thank you all My extended circle of friends.
    You have given good advice, thanks. I feel if this hadn't happened to my other friends, I would have no problem with them coming in. But it is a complete violation of my rights, because it all stemmed from a lie. And the workers on the case know this. So I will wait and see what their next move is. I will look into a lawyer as well.

  • RR

    Mom, you did the right thing. These people are heartless, and will rather take the word of some anonymous caller than truly investigate the situation thoroughly.

    When I was with the Witneses, a friend of mine who was an eld3er in the congregation, fell victim to this very thing. Turns out that he and his wife were reported on by another WItness who didn't like him. His kids were taken without so much as a notice, it took him every cent he had and two years later, his kids were returned, exonerated of all charges ... yet not so much as a "we're sorry."

    Less Religion and more Jesus!

  • crossroads

    Sorry to hear of your misfortune. Larc gives good council if
    your going to fight. Because ultimately we really are not as
    FREE in this country as people believe. I know you will do
    the right thing and it seems like you have lots and lots of
    friends here and at home. I'm sure they are all praying for
    your peace of mind. I'm really a pacifist but the one thing I
    would fight for the one thing I would die for is my two boys.
    PEACE and LOVE-Mark

  • Angharad

    Dear Wendy

    I'm so sorry to hear this, we'll be thinking of you. Lets us know how things go on.

  • somebody


    I didn't see this thread till someone pointed me to it. I'm so sorry about what is happening. I would take the advise of calling an attorney right away to find out what your rights are.
    My thoughts will be with you and your family.


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