Making it "through" to the other side...

by Dawn 12 Replies latest jw friends

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  Dawn

  Hi all:

  I've been away for some time - lots of work and family stuff keeping me busy. I was reading through a lot of the posts this evening catching up and there are so many new people here! So to all of you who are just now searching for an answer, to those that are scared of leaving, or scared that you've been DF'd, or scared of Armageddon - I want to let you know what it's like on the other side - when you've finally made it through all the fear, the guilt, the sorrow, and have healed.

  There is a feeling of freedom now that I can not explain to anyone still in - in fact, even people who were not once JW's don't understand because they don't know what it was like to be in "chains".

  I no longer live with guilt - that's not to say I don't feel bad if I screw up, but I don't start the day automatically feeling guilty "just because".

  I don't have nightmares about Armageddon anymore - in fact, I haven't even thought about it for quite some time. I don't have nightmares about demons or Satan anymore - and I'm no longer afraid.

  I'm not afraid of God anymore. I view him as my protector, my friend, someone who will forgive me if I ask for it and will guide me if I'm willing to allow it - not someone just sitting back waiting to destroy me.

  I don't have to worry about "appearances" anymore. I try to do what's right because I WANT to and not because I am afraid of what would happen if I didn't - what consequences I would suffer - who would see me - would I be marked - would I become bad association.

  I am free to study, research, read whatever interests me. I am free to visit any church, free to attend any weddings I want to.

  I can choose my friends based on what my CONSCIENCE tells me and not on what others tell me I must or must not accept.

  My mind is free to listen to the counsel and guidance from God through his Bible - it is not cluttered with difficult to explain/understand doctrines that back numerous rules I must follow.

  Most of all - I am HAPPY!! I look forward to each day now. I'm going back to college to finish my Bachelor's degree, I have a great family, a good career, and LOTS of friends that will not leave my side because some organziation told them to.

  So to those that are just starting out on this journey - don't let the fear overwhelm you. Hang out - post your thoughts and questions - research - and most importantly, don't confuse God with the Organization. You can leave an Organization - that is not the same as leaving God - he's not contained in any church or religion - he is in your heart if you let him in.
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  Warrigal

  Good Evening Dawn! You put my feelings into words as I would like to express them. I too feel a warmer relationship with God without all the petty rules and regulations that stifled my love for him.

  Thanks for posting that. Warrigal
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  larc

  Dawn, my thoughts are the same as yours. I hope those who are new here, will read them and take them to heart.
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  Kenneson

  Well said Dawn. Hark! Hark!
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  Francois

  Good work, Dawn. You're quite right. There seem to be new folks here in rapidly increasing numbers and it's good for them to know that there's life outside the organization, and abundant life at that. Gone are the mind-numbing effects of the JW cult and it their place, finally, is the freedom promised by The Master.

  The only thing I would add to your post is the warning that people who have been involved in a cult are more likely than the average person to be attracted to a different cult. Being free can be scary if you're not used to it, and now with the assurance of a cult that claimed to have all the answers guiding your every move gone, some can become afraid of the responsibility for self that freedom brings.

  This phenomena is similar to the woman who, after getting rid of the first drunkard husband, goes right out and marries another. This doesn't happen on the conscious level of course. But there's something about that personality type that feels "comfortable" to the woman, like home, and she's sucked right in again.

  However, I like to think that with the support, encouragement, and experience available here, that re-culting can be avoided.

  Enjoy your freedom new folks, and know you've done the right thing. And all of us here are very interested in whatever we can do to help guard the new, free, you.

  francois

  Edited by - francois on 17 January 2003 22:47:40
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  CyrusThePersian

  Dear Dawn,

  Thank You. Your post made my day.

  Cyrus
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  RAYZORBLADE

  Dawn, what a lovely post.

  I have been away from the Borg for a long while, but just being on this site, speaks for itself: it made a significant impact on my life.

  When I read what you wrote, thinking back, I am sure if I had that kind of encouragement and warmth, it would have been easier and not so horrible, scary, alone and desolate.

  How I got to where I am at now? Mystifies even me. Almost 19 years later, it still remains in my memory. The good thing about today: I N T E R N E T

  Can't stop it, and we can disseminate information so much more quickly and efficiently and meet up with like-minded individuals in real time, 24/7. I wish I had this back in 1984.

  Reading your post, also made my morning. Congratulations Dawn, all the best to you.

  Edited by - RAYZORBLADE on 18 January 2003 5:51:1
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  Been there

  Wonderful post Dawn, many people needed to hear that and you said it so well. Thanks. I'm happy things are going so good for you. Keep up the good work.
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  Dawn

  So glad you all liked it.

  I was so scared when I was DF'd - I was sure there was nothing else to live for - no life outside of the org. I hope that by posting our experiences here now we can help others that are just now starting on this journey.
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  Nikita

  Enjoyed your post, Dawn!

  Nikita