Hey Dude,
The other thing is I think JWs focus on the scripture (forget where) that says regarding those who have left the congregation "not even to eat with such a man." Now, legalistically it doesn't say anything about DRINKING.
That is the "proper interpretation" of that scripture around here too, at least, until this Fall with New Light now in effect.
My nephew came to visit (drove total of 14 hrs with wife & 2 yr old son) to visit parents & grandparent for first time in a decade. The parents appreciated the visit - and encouraged him & his family to stay at the local Day's Inn (so the little guy would have room to run around). He & his family were allowed to come visit - but partake of no food. Poor guy was feeding his kid McDonald's as they drove over. I don't know if they were offered something to drink.
We live nearby, so I walked out to say Hi. I invited him to our house for pizza & beer. We had a great time. His parents & grandmother never said a word to us about that.
Btw, when I walked over to their car during the McD's lunch, his mother pulled up in her car. She got out, coming over to me, crying & saying "This is so hard on us." Speaking of her family still at home - and implying it was all her df'd son's fault.
She loves her son, so much in fact, that last month she called him & said that she *could not" have anything more to do with him (except family business, of course) until he was re-instated.
Interestingly enough, she did use the word "could not" ......instead of "would not". In other words, she shifted the responsibility onto the WTBTS, instead of herself. The Slave Master is tightening their ropes & blinders on their followers.
waiting