Vinman some people on here left the JW's in the 60's and 70's! They don't seem to be constantly obsessed with this site, but they do pop in regularly. Maybe in the process for us, there is a transition from mostly needing support to mostly giving support, as our lives stabilize. We are here for eachother. This is all pretty new for you. You've been through a really huge trauma. Don't be hard on yourself. You are going through a midlife crisis right now, and that's ok. I understand you don't want to shock your wife. But you know what, GET that motorcycle. You don't have to buy the whole 'im so tough' motorcycle gear...but do get some protective clothing. Invite your wife along. Make sure you get one with a comfy back seat. And then take some awesome little road trips together. Be very cautious and safe of course, but it's time to do something you love.
also, look into your community college, see if there's anything you want to learn about. Painting class, ceramics, photography, music, history. You've got your own time now. If you occupy yourself with hobbies, you will obsess less about your past and move on with your life. I like you here and hope you still visit often, but you need to balance this with your current life interests. I believe you still have to go to meetings so exploring other churches might not be an option for you now. I know you are still a believer like me, read C.S. Lewis. Actually the Narnia series was a part in me waking up. I read it to my children.
Lol I love listless witness' comment about being a doorbell/doorpost/front garden connoisseur!!! Yep.