Breaks my heart

MrMoe

The other day a foster mom asked if she could talk to me for a moment. It seems a little boy I become more than close to here at the school will be up for adoption very soon, as his parents will not be allowed to have contact with him after years worth of thier case being reviewed due to child abuse and neglect. She asked me if I would like to raise him and adopt him as my own. Took everything I had to say no, but I just don't have the means to provide the way I need to for another child.

May sound crazy to you, don't expect you to understand... but this hurts.

Lin

((((((((((((((((MrMoe))))))))))))))))))) I feel for you man! We can only do what we can do, hugs to you. I'm sorry this is painful for you.

MrMoe

Thanks Lin...

I wrote about him a short while back in my blog. This is what I wrote:

At the Center where I work, there is a little boy named Robby. He is 3 years old and every single bit of him is adorable. He came to the Center about 4 months ago when he was placed in a Foster home. I remember the first time I realized how much I cared was when he came wandering into my office, his big brown eyes brimming with tears and yet not quite crying, and said to me "I miss my Mommy." His tiny little voice just sorta touched me, and I sat there and rocked him for nearly an hour and just rubbed his back, trying to soothe him. Ever since then, as soon as he sees me he comes running, and as soon as he leaves, he says he wants to go home with me.

His foster mother is good, she takes care of all her Foster kid's needs (there are 5 in all,) materially anyhow. But she provides little in relation to emotional support or bonding. Which is fine, I guess, if the children are to be placed back in thier homes with thier parents... I suppose anyhow...

Today I made the rounds and visited the kids. I was told Robby asked about his Mother today - 3 times in fact. I sit here and try so very hard not to cry, but tears keep welling up in my eyes. Oh, how could a mother do something so terrible to have her own children taken away? Let alone, turn her back and miss out on her visitation rights? He is only 3 years old.

Strange as it may seem, and silly I suppose to you, I have totally fallen head over heels for this little boy. You know how every once in a great great while you meet somebody, and never ever forget them? He is one of those people.

happyout

He is completely adorable, and it is completely understandable that you are in pain over his not having a real home. I admire people like you for working with these types of children, I could not do it. I would cry every single day. My son is two, and there is NOTHING that would make me leave him or mistreat him. I don't understand how people can look into the eyes of an innocent, and harm them. Bless you, and bless Robby, I sincerely hope he finds a loving home very soon.

LovesDubs

...just wondered what state you were in MrMoe?

Lin

That's a beautiful story MrMoe...this child sounds like he needs lots of love and attention.

His foster mother is good, she takes care of all her Foster kid's needs (there are 5 in all,) materially anyhow. But she provides little in relation to emotional support or bonding.

I guess I feel the love and attention, bonding etc, is much more important than the material provisions. Having an abundance materially won't make up for the loss of someone who really love them and shows it openly and regularly.

Hugs MrMoe...

avishai

((((((((((Moe))))))))

May sound crazy to you, don't expect you to understand... but this hurts.

I think I understand, I work w/ abused kids 56 hrs. a week, & some of 'em you just want to take w/ you, especially if they attach to you. I'm sorry, that's so sad. Maybe you know someone else that is suitable? I would, but live in CA and am kinda in the same situation you are, kid wise

pettygrudger

His foster mother is good, she takes care of all her Foster kid's needs (there are 5 in all,) materially anyhow. But she provides little in relation to emotional support or bonding. Which is fine, I guess, if the children are to be placed back in thier homes with thier parents... I suppose anyhow...

I know first hand that comes from having to give up a child that you have fostered - KNOWING you are sending them back to the most unhealthy environment. Becoming emotionally attached to them, sure that you will be able to adopt them one day, only to have the parents come back & rip your world apart, and that of the child you have come to love - KNOWING that child will end back up in foster care AGAIN, with more emotional damage done because of the confusion between the sick world they come from, and the world of love & understanding they come to find. That is one of the saddest experiences of my life - so I understand why some foster parents cannot give of themselves "emotionally" - it just hurts to damn much

But this must be so painful for you too Moe - I'm sorry your hurting so much! When it comes to children - its obvious that you are a giving & wonderful person. How much more time will he be spending with your agency until he's placed in a different home (unless adopted first)?

meadow77

Mr. Moe, I think I can understand your sadness. Some people just have a real heart for kids, especially ones that are abused and neglected. You want to take them all in, and love them. You did the responsible thing though by realizing that you couldn't really provide for him. I have really been contemplated getting involved in foster care. It makes me so sad to see so many children with so much turmoil in their young lives. I have always wanted to help in some way, if even for a short time. I know that you are not a believer, but I will be praying for this little boy, that he will be placed in a wonderful home with loving parents. He is lucky even now to have you in his life, if even only as an adult figure who has been able to show him love. You are such a kind person with a big heart. People like that always end up feeling more pain, cause they take on the weight of so much besides themselves.

riz

((((((Moe)))))))

he is adorable.

Breaks my heart

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