by Jesika 46 Replies latest jw friends
Im so sorry this is happening Jesika.
This is awful. I will never be able to understand how someone could actually use a child as a pawn to get revenge. You see it in divorces all the time. People will fight for custudy and visitation or deny custody and visitation for all the wrong reasons and only the child suffers.
I hope you and your ex are able to resolve this situation with his mother and protect your sons emotional well being in the process.
Jesika,,,,,,,,, I am sure things will work out for you in this matter. You seem to be a great mom, and whatever happened in our past is just that ,,,,,,,,,, the past. It is hard having children so young, I was only 20 with my first and my whole 20's were dedicated to those 3 kids of mine,,,,, I mean that is all I did. Now they are older I have alittle bit of time for myself.
But regardless of what was brought up about your past,,,,,,,,, that should have no bearing on your case,,,,,, that was years ago. Your son has a good mom, he is well fed, clothe, has a home, and is doing great. I am sure this will be ok and the grandmother is just trying to play her card.
Hugs Jesika, and I have been trying to call you,,,,,,,, I will try back later.........love ya dede
I feel like I may have misread your first story. If this is a grandparent then she has no parental rights at all. It sounds like she is just trying to threaten you by using your child. Trauma Hound gave a huge list and I hope it helps. Sounds to me like the lady is f_cked in the head.
Jesika,
Sorry to hear of your troubles. I can imagine how upset you must be. Here's my advice for all its worth.
I wouldn't fight it. Here's why. When I was a kid I never had a relationship with my grandparents. My mother didn't get a long with them. As an adult I looked them up and reestablished a relationship with my grandmother. Unfortunately she died shortly afterwards and my grandfather had died before I made contact. I felt like I missed out on knowing and being loved by a grandparent.
Oddlly eneough that I give you this advice when I , myself have nothing to do with my own mother. Therefore, my 2 daughters do not have a relationship with their grandmother. The few times she has called or has sent presents or letters , I always allow that communication. My mom plays head games , lies, makes herself out to be the victim ect. ect. ect. It sounds similar to your situation. My mother is probably worse. She's downright mean to me and tries to make my kids feel sorry for her. This is how I handle it and so far its worked well. I never call her or write her or go see her. Its been a year. When she sends a letter to my kids I give it to them but don't read it myself. Why upset myself further. If she calls I'm polite but make it as brief as possible and hand the phone to my daughters so they can chat. If she wants to see the kids , fine. I just don't go over. My husband will do it for me.
I tell my daughters the truth about why I don't talk to their Grandmother. I don't think she's healthy for them to be around but for some reason they like her. Its beyond me!!! I've come to the conclusion that its between me and my mom and the kids should be left out of it.
Jes, If she does fight this and gets visitation it may not be as bad as you think. Your the Mom. You have the most influence on your childs life.
Take care
jurs
Jes, I just wanted to clarify that I wouldn't fight "visitation" . I didn't mean "custody".
jurs
This grandmother IS NOT the parent! If she expects to have visitation, then she should abide by the PARENTS rules, period.
(((((((((jes))))))))))))))
Hon......remember to ACT and not REACT. Keep your head about you. Don't let emotions get the better of you. Don't let her get the best of you.....then she has the upper hand. You have control.
And TH is absolutely right.......
This grandmother IS NOT the parent! If she expects to have visitation, then she should abide by the PARENTS rules, period.
(((((Jesika)))))
Jesika, I'm so sorry to hear about your ex mother-in-law's plans. I have a friend from Canada (Quebec) who is a grandma and wanted visitation with her jw grandchildren. Alika got visitation only. The jw society really thought they were going to win the suit against her, preventing even a visitation. That is, until it was discovered that there is a weird little law only in Quebec that gave grandparents some rights. The jws dropped the case into the lap of a non-jw lawyer, just to get it off their hands. Alika's jw son ended up with a $3,000 legal bill. If your m-i-l has a lawyer, he is taking her for her money because . . . take heart. . .No other place in Canada or the US has a law that favors grandparents rights!!!
I believe that your ex m-i-l does not have a leg to stand on, and especially since your ex-hubby is on your side. I believe that the judge will see right through her and throw the case out of court.
Also, I think it is against the law to bring up your past into the courtroom. It has nothing to do with your present status. I read your posts and I think you are a wonderful and caring woman and mother and I fully support you in your struggle.
Love,
Esther
Jes, call me any time. Even if its 3 A.M, I promise to only answer if you call repeatedly though because I might have thrown my phone after the first call. :D
Lova ya
Eric
Thanx everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
