A Dirty D8TA Secret - A Confession!

by D8TA 37 Replies latest jw friends

  • D8TA
    D8TA

    This is bad. Soooo bad.

    When I was kid, growing up outside Seattle, I had the responsibility of taking care of the family yard. I toiled for years tending to our lawn and garden. I have no complaints, because I really enjoyed the creative freedom I had when it came to landscaping. I did a whole assortment of neat projects; making footpaths, edging and manipulating the area of green grass, but most of all I had a garden.

    Ah yes, the garden. I would wake up early on Saturday mornings and tend to whatever crop I had. It was fun...UNTILL! Muffy. Good ol Muffy, the rabid poodle who belonged to our next-door neighbor. Every spring and summer (when I tended to my garden) this dog would come over on to our property and bark a vicious storm, keeping about a good 5-foot distance from me. This went on for about 3 years. We issued several complaints to the dogs owner, but the problem persisted. Even went to the point where I just finally ignored the dog all together.

    Then it happened.

    I was working in my yard and digging a hole for a rose bush. As always, there was Muffy barking up her storm, and as usual, I ignored her. As I was nearing completion of the hole, I hit a rather large rock and was required to take it out by hand. So there I am kneeling down with my ass exposed and prying the rock lose and Muffy finally took a nice big bite just below my right butt cheek. It hurt, man, did it HURT! Now, the shovel I was using was to my immediate right hand side, without thought but on pure reaction...quick like lightning...I grabbed the shovel and did a half circle sweep and WHAP! Muffy goes sailing. No wimper, no whelp, no nothing, Muffy landed with a silent thud on the yard about 10 feet away. Muffy was gone.

    Now I begin to panic, I just killed the dog. I do a quick sweep of the area and notice no one had been watching, nor any attention had come to the situation at hand. My mind was racing. I pick up the dog and make my way to the neighbors front door. I had it in mind to tell them the truth, apologize, and take whatever punishment my parents would dish out...until I saw my neighbors car in their driveway. No I didnt? Oh yes...I did. I place Muffy at the base of the back wheel on the passenger side and walked away...returning to the rose bush project.

    It was about twenty minutes later when I heard my neighbors car start up, followed by a few moments pause, then the shrill scream of: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!. At first, since I didnt have a view of the neighbors car, I thought that they had found Muffy lying in the driveway under the wheel. This was quickly dismissed when the screaming continued with, JEFF! I KILLED THE DOG! OH MY GOD! I KILLED THE DOG!

    I then race up to the front of the house to see how it would turn out. Even my parents, sisters, and a few other neighbors had come out to see the commotion. There was my neighbor, Mrs. Olsen, holding Muffy in her arms weeping near her husband. She was going on about how she didn't see the dog in the driveway and that she had backed up over it. Then they went inside their house.

    I never, to this day, mentioned this story to anyone. I felt terrible.

    Edited by - D8TA on 7 January 2003 16:40:16

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    Confession is good for the soul D8TA. Now go say 3 Hail Mary's and 5 Our Father's.

    Robyn

  • Mystla
    Mystla

    Oh you are BAD, you are soooo BAD!!! I'm not sure why it is sooo funny while sooo bad at the same time, but it is....

    I'm sure I'll stop laughing, any minute now.

    Maybe.

    Mystla

    P.S. You are SO BAD!!!

  • scootergirl
    scootergirl
    So there I am kneeling down with my ass exposed and prying the rock lose and Muffy

    Somehow I thought that this story was gonna end up differently.........

  • Texas Apostate
    Texas Apostate

    Bwaa HA Ha... HE HE.... ROTFLMAO... HAHAHAHA!!!!.

    This is the funniest er..umm...*cough-cough*

    This is the sadest thing i have ever heard. Poor little puppy. You should be ashamed of yourself .

    (running off) he he he

  • heathen
    heathen

    I would like to hire your services to make my nieghbors cat disappear in like fashion .This message will self destruct in 10 seconds . lol

  • RunningMan
    RunningMan

    You know, this type of event is usually repressed throughout a person's life, until one day, it erupts in a violent killing spree.

    There isn't anything else you aren't telling us, is there?

  • AlanF
    AlanF

    That's too funny! Until the end I thought you were going to say that you buried the carcass under the bush.

    I hate dogs that won't quit barking.

    I used to have a big garden when I lived in Oregon. My new neighbor owned a big German Shepherd that had been terribly abused as a puppy and was now, he said, insane. I suspect he was right. Every time I'd be in the garden working, that stupid dog would be by the fence barking and making an incredible annoyance. My neighbor was understanding, and when he was home would come out and put the dog in the garage. Unfortunately he wasn't home a lot. After a year or so I was at my wits end, and then hit on a possibility: I'd try squirting the dog with the garden hose. That worked wonders. As soon as the dog would come to the fence and bark, I'd get the hose and let loose. After 3-4 times, all I had to do was start walking towards the hose reel and the dog would shut up and run to the other side of the yard. Dogs hate being squirted in the face.

    AlanF

  • Joyzabel
    Joyzabel

    D8TA,

    I think you have an active immagination to think of those actions after you accidently hit the dog. (LOL)

    I hope you washed the dog bite off well, if the teeth pierced your skin.

    j2bf of the "I hate yappy dogs" class.

  • RedhorseWoman
    RedhorseWoman

    So, you DO plan to confess to them and buy them a new poodle, don't you?

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