Fading and finding our REAL beliefs

by BeautifulMind 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • BeautifulMind

    Hey all. I hope you are all having a good day. Just a quick update on our fade. We are relatively new to our cong, a little over a year and it is very large, over 200 publishers. We were already inconsistent from the start because I just had a baby right before we switched congregations. Pretty successful so far. No one really knows us that well so no one even checks on us. My family that is still in lives in another state and my husband's family is in another city with no connections to anyone in our current cong. So they will just assume we are still going to meetings and everything. There is this one family who kind of took a liking to us, who from the beginning checked on us whenever we missed any meeting. but I guess they moved on because they have stopped texting us to see how we are doing. Even though our awakening occurred a few months ago we are very early into our official fade, only a few weeks. so we are likely to hear from someone at some point. But for now we are happy with the way things are going. That being said, my husband and I are still finding our real beliefs now that we have some space between us and the org. We pretty much agree that we believe in God, but everything else - including the Bible- is up for investigating and research to determine what is believable and what is not. So that is where we are right now. Oh, and our toddlers!! They are loving just hanging out with mommy and daddy on the nights we would usually be struggling with them at the mid-week meeting. Sundays or some days when my husband is off of work, we try to take time to go to indoor and outdoor playgrounds with a different mindset, which is to be more friendly with the other toddler parents and see who would be good for us to make new friends for us and our babies. Yeah, life is pretty sweet right now!

  • OnTheWayOut
    For some reason, I can't post on your thread. By clicking on the quote symbol, I got around that. I assume most people will have the same problem, and won't be able to quote. Anyway, you sound like wonderful people and that's a great update.

    If I can make one suggestion, Try to enjoy life and consider fading fast in your situation. If you are not well-known, you only increase the chances that elders will get involved the longer you are popping up at meetings.
  • brandnew
    And life is good.☺
  • BeautifulMind

    OnTheWayOut If you are not well-known, you only increase the chances that elders will get involved the longer you are popping up at meetings.

    I suggested this to my husband a few times, to just not go back. But he is still hesitant on that. I'm just taking not going one meeting at a time and before long I'm sure he will see how much better that is for us as far as fading goes.

  • fleshyheadedmutant

    Welcome to the forum.

    So glad you and your husband are together in your fade. So many times this is not the case, and the results are tragic.

    Only you and your husband can figure how to do things for the benefit of your family. I hope the grandparents do not try to prod you to return or shun you if they find out about your fade. Show them love and hope for the best!

  • goingthruthemotions

    WOW, i wish my wife would open her eyes! your husband is a very lucky man!!!!!!!!

    move forward and don't look back.

  • millie210

    Really enjoyed reading your heart warming post..

    Your words about taking your babies to the park and getting to know the others there made me smile.

    Time spent loving your children instead of "struggling" with them is a gift you are giving them and yourself!

  • stuckinarut2


    Keep the things that are important in focus, and that is your immediate family.

    Wishing you all the best. You will find sincere support here as you awake. We are all on this road together.

  • JWdaughter
    Do congregations have any kind of welcome for new move in jws or do folks just assume you are semi interested ones?
  • Half banana
    Half banana

    Welcome to the real world Beautifulmind! Your present large cong will hardly miss you if don't go.

    I remember the joy of not attending meetings, doing pleasurable things other than listening to the cult drones droning on.

    I agree with others that it's great you have your spouse with you, my fade cost me my wife and two of my three kids, damn it! But that was some time ago. There is plenty of time to meet new friends who don't have the cultic baggage. Best wishes to both of you and keep us posted.

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