To Loyal Witnesses: Please Listen!
If you are a loyal, zealous Witness, please listen to me.
I'm going to tell you straight from my heart, right out of
my hard-won personal experience, how to avoid unhappiness.
Here it is:
Don't bet on games you can't win.
Let me illustrate. Are you an elder? Do you want to be one?
Take a good look at the guys you know who are elders. What do
you see? I saw burned-out old men, barely doing anything.
I saw guys who couldn't hold a good job (not enough education).
I saw bad marriages, broken marriages, neglected kids,
neglected wives, stress-related illnesses, misery caused by
demanding C.O.'s, corrupt congregational politics, you name
it amoung the elders.
But I was gonna be different.
I was gonna be Gary Cooper in "High Noon". I was gonna set
things right. I was gonna make the meetings interesting.
I was gonna stand up for the weak. I was gonna correct the
I was a fool.
You can't beat the odds. Everything regresses to the mean.
You end up no different than the rest of them. Count yourself
lucky if you still have a good marriage or moral children after
ten years of this.
Do you want to be a pioneer? Look around - are the pioneers
burned out - faking it? Are they looking for an honorable way
to quit? Do the elders want you to pioneer, while avoiding it themselves? Think before you commit to anything.
Are you trying to raise kids "in the truth"? Look around -
what percentage of kids leave the organization in your locale?
50? 70? 90 percent? Are you so arrogant or foolish as to think
that you can beat these kind of odds? (I was!)
EVEN IF YOU DO EVERYTHING THE SOCIETY TELLS YOU TO DO, it still
may turn out wrong if the elders are quietly corrupt in your
hall. Do you really think little Johnny is so stupid that he
doesn't realize that the elders' kids get off scot-free while
Sister Nobody's kids are df'd in the blink of an eye? Will this
encourage Johnny to think the organization is a farce? ( again,
my first-hand experience here, folks!)
...and lets not even get into the subject of covering up child
sexual abuse - and what that can do!
On the positive side, you can invest your time showing REAL love
to your wife and family. You CAN get a decent education. You CAN
get a reliable, good paying job (did you know almost HALF of
all IT jobs go vacant and that salaries commonly get bid up,
higher and higher?).
In short, you can enjoy life (that's life's only purpose)
But you're not going to find happiness beating your head against
a wall, fighting impossible odds, getting burned out, while
the Society, the C.O., and other shrill voices demand more
and more of THE PRECIOUS CURRENCY OF YOUR LIFE!
Don't bet on games you can't win
Seriously, I just read InfoWorld magazine this month and
they had an article that the squeeze to find IT people
was easing. A year ago, a little over 50% of IT positions
were vacant. This year it "eased" to only 47% (!!!!).
I think that this is the kind of job that will be available
no matter what the economy does - everybody needs a guy
to administrate the network and respond to screams that
their workstation just froze up again. Also, it involves
knowing lots of geeky, boring facts - which means in my
experience that you'll be employed while the liberal arts
types will be asking "do you want fries with that?" JMO
metatron (this is also a good time for value investing,BTW)
Thank Dog I bailed before elderhood. I was just an M.S. when I stressed from cong duties, "unbelieving" wife and three small kids. Now my family life is what I want it to be. Happy.
Thank you for such a good post. I was Sister Nobody whose kids got df'd in a flash! It was an oppressive culture to live in.
Now I really enjoy my evenings and weekends without giving all of my best time to trying to recruit new members.
Welcome to this forum!
Excellent post metatron.
We have more time for each other and the kids now - all much happier.
All of my lifes decisions were based scriptural/WATCHTOWER principles. I was constantly told I was happy doing all this stuff. The feild service, the meeting parts, the study preparation bla bla bla. (After all Gods People are a happy people - The Bible/WATCHTOWER Says So!)The fact is I wasn't bloody happy. I was f--king miserable.
I didn't get happy till I started making my own decisions!
Its like getting out of jail!
"But it does move"
Thank you. That was a superb post.
Hi Metatron, you sound like my husband. He thought that by being loving and kind as an elder he could make other elders act the same. But they dont you just get burnt out.
It can take years to realise that ignorant and arrogant elders are actually just what that society want and that kind and loving individuals are a nuisance to the org.
Kind elders will even question the societies policies when they see people being hurt and mistreated, so the ones who are willing to be society men with all its evils are the ones who prosper.
Metatron you werent a fool. You were innocent and naive as to the orgs true colours. Only someone who has been an elder for years can begin to understand what they are truly like.
Thankyou for your interesting post.