Where do I start? It's difficult to bring up all of the negative start in life, however, I believe that without my upbringing I would not have known where to search for the truth later on in life - WITHIN.
The JW is all I knew from the age of 6. When I left at 19 in the year of 1973, I was disfellowshipped for sex, drugs, and rock and roll. I was told that I was dead in god's eyes and that if I prayed he wouldn't even hear me. So I set out on a very self-destructive path as I felt then that I was dead anyway, why not go out partying.
In 1975, I freaked and repented and was reinstated within 3 months. Ah! now I was safe, for after all 1975 was the big year, right? Well, I stayed for about a year and a half and on Halloween I went to a party (A PARTY) and almost like a ritual began to smoke pot again for I knew I wanted out and this was one way out of JW. I never returned and was told by my mother that I was DF'd again in May of 1977, I believe. I remember my comment to her was, "Big deal, so now it's official."
So, I'm an "XJW Twice Removed." That is how I refer to myself when someone asks what religion are you? And then I expound that religion is a personal thing and that there really is no religion but what you believe for yourself within.
It's 2003 and I will be 49 this month. I would like to say that I am a "recovered XJW," but, the teachings, the lies, the attitude of better than others, and that those on the outside looking in are wicked, still lapse back into my memory. I'm not wicked. I am married now and have finally left the scene of drugs (pot was my drug of choice) and am still finding out about myself and why I have habits such as I do. Still, I have baggage to leave behind. The baggage will not be necessary once I accept the wisdom behind the knowledge that truly all is as it is and that I learned from all of the experiences. We are ALL of the same energy - the energy that is both positive and negative. In some ways I see myself as lucky to have experienced the negative so early in life so that now I may be free to experience the positive side of this energy.
Welcome home people. This is your life.....
With Love, Compassion, and an open mind, I enter this forum.