This guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back yard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a mutt sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep, that's me," the mutt replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The old hound looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my talent, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. I couldn't tell you how many wars I helped prevent.
"But, the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there ... and was awarded a batch of medals.
"Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes into the house and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten bucks and he's yours," the owner says.
"But this dog is amazing!" the guy exclaims. "Why on earth are you selling him and why so cheap?"
"He's such a liar," the owner says. "He didn't do any of that shit.