New Elders Handbook

by JEMIMAH 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • Francois

    Here's a request of the generic sort. Many of us were never elders or ministerial servants. Some of us don't understand the acronyms as a result. So if you post some inside information from the new "catch 'em, harrass 'em, kick 'em out" book, would you think about spelling out the acronym the first time you use it in a post, and then use the initials thereafter?

    Hope you won't mind this suggestion.


  • metatron

    Thanks in advance for the info.

    Good God, will they ever change? If there's 7 chapters
    on Judicial Commitees, I detect an even GREATER LEGALISTIC
    approach to their system of worship. It's disgusting!
    They want to write a Talmud of rules, out of sight of
    ordinary publishers - and women!


  • BugEye

    Dear Jeminiah

    I have a question.

    Do you sit on any Judicial Commities for apostasy?

    If so, how does it make you feel being that you see more things here than you are supposed to see and you are more involved in the "outside" than you "should" be?


  • silentlambs

    if you truly have access to the manuscript for the "new" elders book,i am curious to know what was stated with regard to wt policy regarding child molestation? have there been any changes? how does a rank and file elder get access to such privileged information?

  • ianao

    I smell a rat.

  • DevilsAdvocate_DA


    You always bring the best out of me.

    What you said is probably more fact than fiction.


  • ubdjudge

    Jehovah's Witnesses New Concentration Campus for Divorees: NO VACANCY!
    "If we expect the unsaved to live by the Bible, it seemed like a good idea for Christians to finally start doing that, too. And the Bible is clear -- no divorce."

    The welcoming entrance to the beautifully landscaped Watchtower internment campus for divorced women. Over 1,200 women were relocated to this facility under the church's new "Till Death Do You Part" program. WATCHTOWER FARMS (AP). In a prompt response to the
    Dale vs. Boy Scouts of America decision, in which the Supreme Court ruled that private organizations can hate anyone they want to hate, The Watchtower had a surprise in store Friday morning for many residents of Columbia Heights, Brooklyn. Over two hundred so-called "wives" were roused from sleep between 3:00am and 4:30am to the sound of their front doors being kicked in by Mrs. Judy O'Christian. They were then soundly rebuked, allowed a moment to comb out their hair and then taken to Watchtower Train Depot in church minivans. There, they were loaded into boxcars for the 49-hour journey to their new home at Watchtower Farm's Internment Campus For Divorced Women in Manzanar, California. The early-morning suburban raid was carried out by a
    Christian SWAT team armed only with semiautomatics and NWT Bibles. It marked the first deployment of Operation "Till Death Do You Part." As CO Johnsson explained in a press release: "The NWT is very clear in Matthew 5:32. A divorced woman is a harlot and adulterer. And if we are going to be kicking homosexuals out of our pup tents, you can bet, as sure as shooting, we are going to be kicking harlots out of our homes!"

    All of the women rounded up and removed were living in sin as adulterers with second (shockingly, sometimes third) husbands. They will be held at the Watchtower Farm's Internment Campus For Divorced Women until they can be repatriated with the only husband God
    recognizes (their first) and the illegitimate offspring of any unholy union can be placed in like-raced True Christian homes. Some of the women objected to going back to their first husbands, but were told they would have plenty of time to change their minds while they made "WWJD?" merchandise that would be sold in the gift shop.

    "We decided to make the raid on Crystal Night, which is the time once a year when our church, out of Christian charity, gives a stem of Waterford (Mauve pattern) to the destitute to start their collection," Elder Donolly toldConnie Chung from a reconnaissance helicopter. "People need to understand that just because you don't have any
    food is no reason not to set a lovely table. We surprised these wanton divorcees while they are sleeping. We learned that little trick from Janet Reno. Fortunately, we were dealing with Jehovah's Witnesses, not hysterical,media-savvy Cubans. Initially, I was opposed to breaking
    down their front doors because it smacked of bad manners, but when the Lord comes knocking, He means business."
    "Now I love Donolly, but she is a little dainty sometimes," laughed Mrs. Judy O'Christian, who was placed in charge of entry into homes targeted for sin-intervention. "He wasn't crazy about my approach at first, but it's like I always say, if you are going to stop folks from sinning you need to be willing to kick a few doors in. My boys are
    grown now, but when they were young, I'd slam a foot right through their bedroom door the second I thought either of them was touching themselves in a way that would make Jesus nervous."

    Seventy-five years ago, Watchtower Bible & Tract Society owned almost 80% of Brooklyn. Over the years, this land has been sold to raise money for projects for the glory of God, such as Bethel's 27-room belle époque residence on artificial Lake Saviorwalksupon. Each deed was transferred subject to a restrictive covenant that required
    that the property not be used for sin or in contravention of God's law. Christian lawyer Douglas Crowther, now eighty, recalls: "I did most of them closings and I remember each and every one of them. How could I forget? Every one of those deeds had a fifteen pound black leather Bible stapled to it as 'Godly Exhibit A.'"

    It was the violation of this restrictive covenant that allowed Project "Till Death Do You Part" to spirit away sinners in the night and restore Christian values to their community. "If we just sat back and let these trollops go about their gardening," said CO Johnsson, "we would be as lazy in our faith as those type of so-called "Christians"
    who just let Jews go on being Jews. Sleeping on those 18-to-a-room wooden bunk beds, those harlots don't know it now, but they will be grateful to us come Judgment Day for getting them right with the Lord.
    According to the Campus Director, they are acting very ungrateful now, but we expect no thanks in this life. Our reward awaits us in God's glory!"

  • larc

    are you nuts?

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