by truth-or-consequences 37 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Oz Branch Coordinator Terrence O'Brien opined a number of times at about 1:00:00 until about 1:15:00 of his testimony, that a Dub does not need to DA, they can become "Inactive."
I sent our beloved Angus Stewart my personal experience, as well as observations about official Borg teachings. (He replied in short order.)
Has anyone heard anything supporting Terrence O'Brien's obvious BS?
Yes, they can. And they can do it without losing contact with their family.
But.... and it is a very big but. They are treading a very thin line. If they are confronted by two Elders who witness an admission that they are no longer believers, they will be announced as 'no longer JWs'; and be shunned the same as someone who DA'd or was DF'd.
Every time I post on this forum, the second half of the post disappears.
Satan gotcha, or what? I ain't gonna bother typing all that again.
I am 5 years out in my fade and yes i have my family, but all my JW "friends" dropped me. BUT, here's the but, if i do anything not approved by watchtower even now i can be disfellowshipped still and then lose my family.
So fading is slow and leads to a kind of limbo with fear of disfellowshipping always over the shoulder.
Wife and I have faded out completely and we have been cut off by all the Dubs and a lot of family-dubs now have limited contact with us ie no invites or acceptance of our invites to socialise etc . So you will have to deal with this "conditional love" bred into the Dub DNA now.
You will initially get the mandatory phone call or even visit to encourage you ! This is where you may wish to answer carefully.
I had been in severe Depression so I harped back on that - but later I antagonised the el-dubbery with e-mails which got them a bit ped-off and I think they merely put out the word in the "grapevine" that I was tending toward the big A. But I have been left alone ........................till a more suitable time it seems.And the more they leave me the better !
Walk Softly ......Cautious as Serpent - T
Wife and I have faded out completely and we have been cut off by all the Dubs and a lot of family-dubs now have limited contact with us ie no invites or acceptance of our invites to socialise etc . So you will have to deal with this "conditional love" bred into the Dub DNA now.
So it is the same treatment as DA, with occasional reminders to "Return to Jehovah."
Half of my JW family shun me after fading. I'd be as welcome at a family get together as a fart in a lift.
If you fade, you will get treated differently by different dubs because they are relying on their indoctrinated "conscience" rather than a hard and fast shunning rule such as for DFing or DAing.
The main advantage of fading is that it does leave the way open for family to keep in touch if they want to and if their "bible-trained conscience" allows them to. Especially important, I think, if you have vulnerable or elderly parents or family members.
As Black Sheep wrote, there is high pressure to unofficially shun faders who are known to live a lifestyle that doesn't comply with JW rules. In my case, now that word is getting around that I'm gay and I have a partner, I do get a few snubs. But on the other hand I do occasionally get letters from a few in my old congregation and the odd polite chat in the street if our paths cross.
My family don't shun me and I still get invited to visit home, where you would never notice anything has changed except for the concerted effort to not talk about doctrinal or controversial stuff and to only talk about how wonderful JW Land is (if the topic comes up). That said, this is still a fragile situation. If I explicitly stated that I have had a same-sex partner for the last five years and was planning to move in with him, I think their "bible trained consciences" might max-out and that would be the end of it.
So, for what Terrance has stated to be true - yes you can fade, but if you keep in close touch with any still-in JWs you must be seen to be continuing to lead what they consider to be a moral life-style, not what YOU consider to be a moral lifestyle.
As Oscar Wilde once said, "selfishness isn't living our lives the way we please, but asking others to live their lives the way we please". That pretty much sums up the JW expectations of faders in my opinion.
