God Made Cats

by Farkel 24 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Farkel

  Cats are feral. No two ways about it. Cats are feral. They crouch down, swish their tails and they pounce on their prey. Housecats just crouch down, swish their tails and pounce on lizards and sick birds and stuff. Many of them bring their prey home and deposit them on the porch. If they are well fed (with Watchtower Approved(tm) "No blood" cat food HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) they won't eat their prey, because they are too full of canned cat food to satiate their hunger. But they still prey, though.

  Bigger cats like lions also prey. The females do all the work, and they must wear a head-covering while they prey and while the male lions take their naps. It's a guy thing. Male cats have figured it all out. Get a big mane, have a whole bunch of females doing all the dirty work, give them a little sex once in a while, and retire. What a life those male lions have. Kinda like many male humans, methinks.

  It was not this way 4,000 years ago. Lions would still crounch down and they would still swish their tails, and they would still run like hell until they finally caught their prey............,,,,,,,,,,,,straw! They would stalk and hunt and finally capture that straw and then would drag that straw back to thier young ones, so the young ones could feast on that straw.

  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

  Please enjoy your lion who hunts, stalks and finally captures STRAW in the New World, folks! I'm sure they will still crounch and swish their tails, because straw is a very elusive and fast-moving prey. You never know where straw can hide out when it is being hunted by a lion.

  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

  Farkel
• 

  outnfree

  Methinks you is a lie'un, Farkel.
  LOLOLOLOL

  outnfree
• 

  Thirdson

  Farkel,

  I'm not sure what part God played in making cats. But I do know that our cat thinks she's God.

  Thirdson

  'To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing'
• 

  RedhorseWoman

  We have seven, three of which were actually feral. The ferals never hunt birds....they watch birds. They sit under the bird feeder and watch. Perhaps that's why they were not particularly successful as feral cats and opted to come inside and be pampered. Then again, they're all males, so that could explain their ineptitude at hunting.

  The non-feral cats used to hunt, but now they couldn't be bothered. Can openers do not fight back.
• 

  terraly

  I hate to bust your bubble Farkel, but I know a cat who will quite seriously stalk and then viciously maul a piece of lettuce. Of course, this is a good thing, because she's scared of pretty much every other animal in the world.

  Also, my cat likes tomatoes. But she doesn't stalk them.

  t.
• 

  Carmel

  HUH? I thoght CATS was a sequel to West Side Story..

  meow
• 

  Wayne

  I have a Norwegian Forrest Cat that is fond of tomatoe soup :)
  Hmm, if I recall only two of every kind that did not cleave at the hoof nor chew the cud was brought upon the Arc. Nope, my cat was probably the prototype for the new system. The Lion was a genetic hybrid--a Satanic plot just to confuse dog lovers into baiting cat lovers with lie-en nonsence.

  Sorry Farkel, I really do like Alfred E Newman--I just love my cat more:)

  Wayne Michael
• 

  TR

  God also made lions extremely muscular, so that when they pounce on the straw, they can restrain the straw properly. The lions' fangs and sharp claws make it possible to hold onto the straw until it suffocates and dies. Sometimes a restrained bale of straw will be disemboweled by other lions while still alive.

  Lionesses will painstakingly train their cubs on how to stalk straw, then attack, especially the young, week, injured, or old straw. Ancient camera crews have spent years observing and filming lion prides. They have observed how freshly killed straw is eaten first by the male lions, then the leftovers devoured by the females and cubs. Hyenas, jackels and vultures have been observed eating the remains of the straw carcasses, picked clean to the bone.

  Should be a special coming out about these lions this month on "Discovery B.C."

  TR
• 

  Farkel

  TR,

  You have a great wit and a great way of taking away my little bit of thunder! I'm quite impressed and laughing so hard I can barely type this reply!

  Farkel
• 

  larc

  Farkle and TR,

  Hats off to you. This is one of the funniest threads I have read here.

  We used to have two cats. They are in kitty heaven now. We would let our cats go in and out of our house as they damned well pleased. Our one cat would stalk straw, pounce on it, and kill it. Our other cat would grab a bale, jump through an open window, and lay the still living straw at our feet. This cat was so proud of her accomplishments that she had to share them with us.