Another one decides to leave

by problemaddict 2 15 Replies latest jw experiences

  • FayeDunaway

    My husband had a similar reaction, wondering how our kids could ever be moral if we left the jw's. You forget what it is like from inside a KH, that they constantly tell you how no one else loves God and is immoral and that the whole world is satanic and basically a death pit. Hopefully, like my husband,his wife will start noticing people on the outside that are truly loving without conditions and her perspective will be changed. Once you learn a few things these gradual changes are inevitable, it just takes time. My husband came to a large church party at my new church and said he was surprised there were could be so many upright looking people under one roof. It's not what witnesses are conditioned to believe is possible.

  • Sweetp0985
    I wish i could share that story with my mom but he quoted something that she tells me all the time "where else is there to go?" I damn near shed a tear reading that article.
  • JWdaughter
    Thanks for the happy news. Its a shame they are so scared off of other churches. I have been to some "well balanced" churches that were less about arguing doctrines and proof texting and end of the worlding as they were about following Jesus and being good in the world. I like that kind of church and I like those kind of people. They love God, but they aren't getting hung up on what is basically theories about unprovable details. Heck, God is unprovable enough, trying to prove things about the unprovable is really insane!
  • antes8080
    That's a great article, I have shared it with friends but many are to scare to leave.
  • problemaddict 2
    problemaddict 2

    Glad everyone enjoyed it. We have had a couple of conversations since. I have encouraged him to take it slow with his wife, and that he will find as he allows himself to research things he never would have allowed himself to consider, that he will find things he agrees with, and others he doesn't. Thats ok. It doesn't mean anything significant one way or the other. But I told him if (when) he reads something that makes him call ME, not start running at the mouth.

    He considers himself a Christian and currently is in the I don't know where to go phase. We discussed the scripture, and the "who" instead of the "where". He gets it. Just not 100% ready to let go.

    I have had another friend, that I met on this board and now has started an EX JW meetup in San Diego, who specifically got his wife to calm her fears, by saying he would still go to meetings and support her if that is what she wanted. Just having that security (in her mind), made it mean he wasn't leaving her, or bugging out. I think My buddy here is doing the same thing and its wise. But I did tell him to be careful. If hes goingto live with principle, at a certain point he will want to be gone completely, and the older your kids get, the harder it would be to transition.

    The morality question I did like this.

    If an athiest does good for their neighbor, feeds them, clothes them, doesn't steel, doesn't lie, is loyal to their spouse and friends, etc...Is that more or less moral than a Christian who may do those same things, but be motivated at least in part by some eternal reward or fear of punishment?

    Point being, JW's nor any religion, have the trademark on "morality". Least of all JW's.

  • SecretSlaveClass
    I agree with above mentioned takes on "a moral center". Are the parents immoral? Why can't they use their own values and morals as a guide? After all isn't that part of a responsible parent's job, to instill good morals and ethics? This reeks of classic bad western parenting where the responsibility of role models are passed on to athletes, celebrities, politicians etc. so when these "role models" fail with their own morals all those that encouraged their kids to look up to them as an example are shocked and outraged. Why are they shocked? It's not their responsibility, they're your kids not theirs! What a joke.

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