my intro and 1st impression of Memorial

by BlueDanube 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • outnfree

    Hey, Blue,

    Looks like you need to talk, talk, talk with your husband about what each of you believe and how you're going to worship and raise your child.

    Keep that level head while you're figuring out how you're going to deal with the dad-in-law & family when they won't celebrate holidays, etc., with you and they begin trying to indoctrinate your daughter.

    Who are you studying with? Not your a relative, I hope? You may be raising false hopes with her and de-entangling yourself will be that much stickier.

    And when you said that your husband wouldn't let you be any other religion, did you perhaps mean that he didn't feel he could go along with you in any other religion? In other words, that he would decline to participate in any other religion? I'm getting a feeling that he just isn't all that interested in ANY religion, because of his "Sunday Social Club" statement about even Witness meetings.

    In which case, if you'll be on your own, RUN, don't walk, away from your study and the Kingdom Hall.

    Just my opinion,

  • outnfree

    Trouble posting, sorry!

  • BlueDanube

    outnfree, thanks for the advice and concern :). Nope, it's ot a relative that's studying with me, it's a pioneer from the local hall (we live on one side of the state and both sets of our parents live on the other). Oh, what I meant by

    And about me studying... not to worry, I have no intention :).

    I meant I had no intention of joining the JWs. I enjoy learning about other religons, but wanted to go into this first since it involves the family.

    And I have been wondering where I would stop the study and how to do it. Maybe if we move to another part of the state would be the easiest way to end it. I am mainly doing it to have an understanding of their beliefs so that when I talk with my inlaws or members of my side of the family (I do it in the passive, non-arguing way) that they wouldn't be able to say "Well, you don't understand... If you studied you would clearly see it is the truth...", etc . I actually am getting more turned-off since I began studying.

    And I wish my husband would let me go to another church especailly since he has little interest in going to even the hall. I didn't think he would have a problem since we only went to the hall once while we were dating. And since we had our daughter, I wanted her to grow up in some sort of church, though one that was more open. I would just take her and we go off by ourselves like my mom did when I was younger, but he doesn't want me to go to any other church with or without him :(.

    I remember having a talk with him about how she should be brought up and we agreed that as long as she is exposed to a religion in the beginning, that when she's old enough she could freely make up her own mind whether she could stay or join another one, but I know that would be tough on her if she grew up as a JW. He seems to have forgotten that talk we had or he doesn't realize how tough it will be since he was spared because (I assume) he had less pressure since his dad wasn't baptized and no one else in the family were involved... he never mentioned being shuned or anything that I have heard from a number of you folks. I don't want my daugther to have to go through that mental torment.

    I may do the equvilent of "Home-school" for her when it comes to freely practice a religion.

    And about what to do about holidays, well, we have been doing that with little trouble, but recently he and his dad have been pushing me to be a JW. I would choose to practice them privately, I probably will with the way things are going... I'm not big on pushing my beliefs on anyone. Educate yes, pressure no. Though I would miss being with my family during Thanksgiving and Christmas if he really puts his foot down about it. My hubby and his dad have been trying to tell me that my family won't allow me to be a JW solely due to the nix on holidays. I've talked with mom about looking at churches and she's encouraged me to look at everything and then make up my mind. Although she doesn't agree with JW beleifs she would respect our wishes if I did decide to become one, as long as I was happy with whatever I decided. However my hubby and dad-in-law sees it as her trying to talk talk me out of becoming a JW and claims that she would have a problem and won't understand. I know that they are taught that by the WT Even the pioneer I study with has trouble with that since she asks almost every time. The thought of someone being accepting and loving of someone else with different beliefs sure is a foreign one to them, lol

    Sorry for making another long post, lol

    BD :)

  • VeniceIT

    TW--oh man hahahahhahah aI about died I love the dancing cow that is too good ahahhahahahah!!!!


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