my intro and 1st impression of Memorial

by BlueDanube 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • BlueDanube

    Hi everyone :). I'm a new member but have been a lurker for some time, even more so since WitNet went down.

    I have never been a JW, though I have a couple family members on my side who are, also my inlaws and my inactive JW husband. Right now I'm studying though it's more out of learning about them and finding out what makes them tick rather than joining. Also the JWs are the only religion that my husband would allow me to get involved with. I grew up in a liberal church (my husband says my church was "too Catholic" which is hysterical if you ever been to my church ;) ) where we didn't put down any other religion so I had no real problems with JWs until I read their literature and went to sites.

    I had never been to a Memorial before last night... I was curious to see what the hype was about. To my surprise my husband had never been to one either. I have attended all of my churches Easter services up to the time I dated my husband and was expecting something as joyous as those. I knew about the emblems and how only the "annointed" could part take of those. I don't agree with that since I see everyone in a Christian congregation as one under Christ and should all be treated equally... the bread and "wine" should be open to all to participate in.

    Well, I guess I don't have to go into much detail since many of you have already gone through that. Anyway there isn't much to say either... The brother read the bible along with some extra words, we passed the bread and drink, and that was it. I was wondering if there was something I missed when it ended.

    The highlight though was when my 2 year old daughter would make noises as she drew in her notebook. Not crying or anything, it sounds more like meditation humming. And it was loud enough for the whole place to hear. Both my husband and I would bend over to gently tell her "shhh" but both of us would try hard and not laugh :). And she would do it again and again... someone had courage to say something during the meeting :). I had a urge to start singing "Put a little love in your heart" (I've been having the Annie Lennox/Al Green version going through my head the last couple days) but I wasn't as brave as my daughter, lol.

    Anyway glad to be here and a part of the group :)


  • TR

    Hi Blue, and welcome.

    The JW memorial is by far the most boring event there is in the JW world. You would not have missed anything if you skipped it, except the bizarre way they do it.


  • SixofNine
    Also the JWs are the only religion that my husband would allow me to get involved with.


    No really, what?

    welcome to the board, btw :)

  • larc


    There is something you said that I just don't understand. You said your husband who is inactive JW but has never been to a memorial. I have never heard of such a case. You also said that he wanted you to be a part of that religion. This fact makes it doubly hard for me to understand. How long was he an active Witness anyway and at what age? I find this to be most curious.

  • outnfree

    Welcome, BlueDanube.

    I, too, had my "radar" activated when I read
    a/ that your husband is an inactive JW but hasn't been to the Memorial
    -- EVER! and,
    b/ that becoming a Witnesses is the only religion your husband will
    ALLOW you to become.

    First, to become a JW usually takes a year or two of study & preparation, so it's odd that during that period he would not have also attended at least one Memorial;
    Two, why do you need your husband's permission regarding your choice of religion? Do you get to choose his religion for him, too?

    I sense mind-control danger here. The last person I knew whose husband wanted HER to become a JW when he (who had been around it his whole life but never dedicated his life or got baptized) would not, wanted to use it as a way to keep his wife subservient and "in line" while he kept on doing just as he pleased -- which, in his case, was to keep on smoking, drinking, and using up the rent money while she stayed home pregnant and stressed out by him and his family. She was a sweetheart who was already isolated because her family lived on another continent.

    I apologize if I'm way out of line here, BlueD, but a red flag popped up when I read your post.

  • larc


    You are not out of line. There is something wrong here. Someone is not telling the truth.

  • thinkers wife
    thinkers wife

    Welcome!!! And please elaborate. I have the same questions as the others. In the JW world the Memorial is a sacred event. I have never ever (and I was a witness for almost forty years) heard of a JW who has never been to a Memorial.
    What is the story here on your partner?

  • dmouse

    Welcome to the board BlueDanube!
    When you read stuff here you might be forgiven for thinking that JWs have two heads!
    In reality they are usually very nice people, and sincere Christians.
    The problem is that they have been badly misled by the people in charge of the religion.
    Also, when they first talk to you, they don't tell you all the negative stuff that will be expected of you once you join - that comes later when they are sure that you are fully under the hypnotism.
    My advice - keep coming back to boards like this for the lowdown on what JWs REALLY believe.

  • myMichelle

    Welcome to the board BD,

    I have to agree with several other posters, something isn't right here.

    . Also the JWs are the only religion that my husband would allow me to get involved with.

    I'm glad my coffee cup was down here or things could have been messy. What!!!!! First, I checked the date on my calender--whew! It still says 2001! Then I checked to see if you stated where you were posting from--the US of A. Women have rights in this country, and haven't been considered property for a few years now.

    To my surprise my husband had never been to one either.

    Now how does that happen? My guess is he's not baptized, otherwise someone is not being very forthright. I've never been a JW, but I've been to 10 Memorials, it is the absolutely must be there event unless you are on your deathbed, which will be verified. Even inactive JWs show up for this event to keep the gossip down to a low roar and to fend off inquisitive elders.

    I grew up in a liberal church (my husband says my church was "too Catholic" which is hysterical if you ever been to my church ;) ) where we didn't put down any other religion...

    Welcome to the world of the Watchtower, where every other religion is false, of Satan and God is gonna smite them all. I too was raised in a very liberal church, and the WTS's viewpoint was very bigoted and nauseating for me.

    Right now I'm studying though it's more out of learning about them and finding out what makes them tick rather than joining.

    Careful. The Society has had decades of practice of luring you into there little organization. The thing they don't tell you is once you are in there is no honorable way to leave, especially if you have family in the organization.


  • BlueDanube

    Thanks for the welcome. Sorry for not explaning more about my situation... I meant to write more but with it being late and also my husband coming into the room, I had to quickly end it.

    To help you get an idea, my husband is in his mid 30s and his father first got involved about 25-30 years ago... sometime around the 1975 incident because I have heard him talk about that. My husband said he attended Baptist and Catholic churches since he was 6 but he said he didn't like any of them until he dad and family went to the hall. He only went to Sunday meetings and Theocratic Ministry School. And like you all, I was surprised that he had never attended the Memorial before. I had thought for sure he had and dropped my jaw when he told me the other night .

    He isn't baptised, and neither is the rest of his family. In fact his dad, step mom, brother and step sister are going to be baptized at this coming District convention. For a long time his dad couldn't be because he worked at a place that made weapons for the military and a couple years ago he was let go from that job.

    My husband liked going to the meetings and to this day agrees with a number of things that the WT teaches. But when he was working someplace around in his 20s (I think... not too sure) when he had co-workers who were JWs were behaved in the hall and at work but on the weekends they were getting drunk and swearing and having wild parties. And that made him open his eyes (well, somewhat) and he saw the contradictions in the WT, and he stopped going to the meetings.

    He still considers himself a JW though, and as I said earlier, he agrees with some of what they teach. But he either forgot or never really knew some of what they do, like the other night when he said he puzzled as to why his dad wasn't home and I said that he probably was at one of their 5 meetings, and he dropped his jaw... he didn't know about that. And a couple of the teachings that I have talked about from my studies he didn't know about. I don't know if he even had a person study with him.

    He doesn't like going to any of the meetings however... the Sunday meetings he calls the "Sunday Social Club"... he says that about every church. I was surprised when he said he wanted to go to the memorial.

    Since he wasn't active, I thought that I might be able to go to the church I wanted... either the one I had grown up in or the Unitarian Universalist church. My parents are from different denominations (Catholic and Protestant) and they got along fine (30+ year marriage :)). Since my dad was not acitve, my mom brought us kids up in a Protestant church. And so I thought that'll work for us... ok so I was wrong.

    I don't hate the JWs though... I don't fall into that trap that they try and set up against other religions to apply to theirs as well. And like you said myMichelle, that makes me nauseous. I really feel sorry for them. Whenever I read the personal stories in the Awakes or WTs I sigh and pray for them.

    And about me studying... not to worry, I have no intention :). With such great resources like Free Minds, the Watchtower Observer, this board and a few other great sites, it keeps my head level. And also the Bible which I always compare with what their NWT says and what the KJV says (For years I had thought there was little difference, but never really paid attention). I never read the Bible so much until I got involved with my husband's family and then the recent studying... mostly to find out what it really says than what the WT interpretations are. I have to show my hubby John 1:1... I think that might make a good start point about their faulty teachings. I'm also a history buff so I have real problems with their claim that Jesus was put on a stake. I never heard anything outside the WT about a stake being used then.

    Whew! I hope that clears up most of the confusion about my situation :). If not just ask :).


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