Pedophiles and Child Molesters
This thread is dated A YEAR AGO, yet thought it would be a good idea to review it's contents presently.
Remember that children who are being sexually abused are experiencing conflicting and painful emotions that they cannot sort out or understand. But this does not mean the situation can’t be verbalized. Children are more resilient than we give them credit for and the children that recover the best from sexual abuse are the ones whose parents
took a proactive response to the situation. We can only do that by arming ourselves with the tools of knowledge and vigilance. It is up to us, the caretakers of children, guardians of their safety and their dreams, to assume control, cast off the ominous shadow of sexual abuse and bring their nightmare to an end.Parents!! Wake the hell up!
It's true - parents need to help their kids. But really.......how many of us suspected Uncle Ralph or Aunt Polly of feeling our kids up? (Names & situation made up, btw.)
How many of us knew that nice Mr. Bradley counseling our son in speech was having sex with him after they got ice cream? Or our great boyfriend Bob has had sex with both our daughters?
By the very nature of raising kids.....parents have to let go to some extent. Children can be very secretive - even when normal! But with someone they like, who befriends them? Or kids who feel dirty, ashamed, guilty? I think it's common to hide things from their parents. Police reports prove it.
Parents have to continue trying - along with doctors, therapists, teachers, friends, etc. But they can't make child molesters disappear - or save all the children. It will take generations for this to diminish, imho. As one generation heals some.....they pass it on to the next, just as they passed on molestation.
Thanks again, Seven. Timeless information for many generations to come, sadly.
Good artical Seven. sf, thanks for wakeing it up again.
I feel bad that you were subjected to that. There always seems to be more un-fairness then fairness in this world.
When I was in hiding with my children the first year we went through 8 elementary schools. I will never forget one in particular.
I took my youngest into the office to meet the principal, a very stern runs a tight ship type. My little one obviously was trying to make the best of things the best way he new how at the ripe old age of 7.
He extended his hand to the principal introduced himself "How do you do" and offered his new principal a hug.
The principal quickly pushed him away and very sternly admonished him saying "We do not allow such unexceptable behaviour in our school" My son looked so hurt.
Rather then being understanding toward a child who had been through more pain and hard times already more then the average adult see's there entire lives The principal felt he had to be more concerned with appearances.
This happened right after a theropy session with a psycholigist who at the time was helping him over come certin fears and learning not to identify "Men" in general as "bad" or the ones that hurt you.
It's an impossible balance sometimes to maintain. No matter what side of the fence your on there is going to be something that gets hurt because of these animals that prey on the weakness of others.
The best we can do is the best we can do.
No matter how thin you slice it there are always two sides
thanks for all the personal exp
i jsut had no idea of all the folks out there who have been taken advantage of many times by folks they know
the old dirty old man with the raincoat i see is far from what many are actually dealing with
thanks for all the enlightment
excellent article that was posted too
But really.....how many of us suspected Uncle Ralph or Aunt Polly of feeling our kids up?
Regretfully, precious few. But that was then and this is now. The uncomfortable to talk about subject of sexual abuse of children is in the news daily. The information is out there and can be viewed by all. These predators will always be with us so we need to be the aggressors. I find it unacceptable to sacrifice another generation waiting for it all to diminish.
I would like to see a sexual abuse awareness/prevention program in the schools similar to the D.A.R.E. program. Empower the children themselves from grade 1 to know that it's okay and acceptable to "tell" on whoever is hurting them, be it parent, teacher, brother,
minister, relative or neighbor. I think this is an option worth exploring.
Plum, I'm sorry for what you son experienced. I hope he's doing well now.
I would like to see a sexual abuse awareness/prevention program in the schools similar to the D.A.R.E. program. Empower the children themselves from grade 1 to know that it's okay and acceptable to "tell" on whoever is hurting them, be it parent, teacher, brother, minister, relative or neighbor. I think this is an option worth exploring.Good point. Somewhat like the "Just Say No" program? It can work....but tell that to the parents of the little boy who was torched to death in a major city for just saying no.
Unlike drugs (unless the parent is selling them to the kids - and beating them if they say no), this is a different, emotion-packed situation. Many times abusers keep their victims silent by threatening them. They're kids - these people are adults, and sometimes 5/6 times bigger than them, smarter, slyer.....and the adults have all the power. Why do you think that abusers kill so many of the kids' pets? Not because of the emotional value of killing the pet - to teach the kid a lesson - they'll kill them, or their parents, if the kid tells. Not suggesting that the abuser would actually kill a person - he doesn't have to, the kid will usually believe him as he has his dead pet to prove it. It works - as violence usually does.
There are so many insidious ways to keep a victim in line - through false love, true hatred, violence, friendship, or any combination of other things too.
I'm not saying a DARE program wouldn't work....I'm saying it would be fraught with emotional problems that would have to be addressed before putting into motion. It's not just the physical aspect that corners the victims - it's just as much emotional blackmail & violence.
Glad to see your posts - I miss the icq'ing.