Why do Some Ex-JWs go Wacko?

rebel

I don't intend to offend anybody with this post, so please excuse me if I do.

I have often wondered why some people that leave the WT organisation go really weird. There is a couple near me who left a couple of years ago. Within days of DAing, they were putting up Christmas decorations all over the place - their house was the most decorated in town! Just because you leave the organisation, it doesn't automatically make some of the teachings wrong. If you believed Christmas was pagan a few months ago, why the big change? It isn't that I think Chrstmas is wrong, but these people really went over the top. What were they trying to prove?

I also know another sister who was DFed - she started taking drugs, going out to night clubs, and in the end was admitted to hospital after an overdose. A young couple I knew went really weird - the husband joined this weird culty movement and went off with another woman. She moved in with a guy 15 years younger than her daughter!

I can think of many other examples. Is it because we were so oppressed that, once free, we go beserk? I hope I don't go like that - the freedom after all those years of oppression does seem very tempting to me. Is it just that I have come across these cases and this isn't a common way to behave once you leave, or is it quite common?

Edited by - Rebel on 13 December 2002 20:17:47

Beans

Why are Jehovahs Witnesses so jealous about ex-witnesses that have a life!

They realized that everything that they knew before was rubbish and want to fit into society as normal humans!

http://Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com

truthseeker1

I think its the individuals who are weird. I'm a normal person and I'm an ex JW. I don't see a problem with celebrating xmas, I never did, I just went along because thats what I was supposed to do. These people are finally doing the stuff the want to do, whether its healthy or not. Weird people do weird things. There are TONS of weird people in the JW who do weird things while they are jws, so please don't say its just the people who leave.

rebel

I'm not saying all who leave are weird - please don't think I mean that - it's just that many I know who have left seem to do things that make them really unhappy - even to the extent of harming themselves. I know I feel pretty screwed up and I am not sure whether I am just a bit odd by nature or whether it is the years I spent in this organisation.

I should feel really happy now that I know that my instincts were correct. Instead I feel flat and I probably would do some pretty weird things now if it wasn't for trying to set a good example to my family. Also, it would give the elders something to talk about and I don't want to give them the satisfaction. They are always saying that is you leave, you will really go off the rails and I don't want that. I hate to see ex-JWs doing things like that and the JWs all sniggering about them.

IslandWoman

Hi Rebel,

JWs are not as homogenized as the Watchtower likes to pretend they are. As a result when they leave they take different tracks. Some do as you describe but others do not. Personally my family and I do not celebrate the holidays, not because we feel there is something wrong with it but because we just don't feel the need. On the other hand my xJW sister does, so we each do what we feel is right or good according to our likes, dislikes and most important our consciences!

Free to be us!

IW

JT

your point is well taken, in fact my wife and i often have little get togethering for former jw and one of the things we always stress is DONT' BECOME THE POSTER CHILD FOR WT - in terms of what happens to those who leave the org-

while not true of everyone, you are correct in that some who leave go BUCK WILD

i think the Youth book put is best, if you hold a spring very tight for a long time and quickly release it it will many time spring forth uncontrolably-

well when you consider that as a jw someone told you everything that you could and could not do, every facet of your life right down to when and where you could "FART" was dictated-

now all of a sudden as one person at my home stated as we were discussing why she went out and was throwing "Coochie" to anyone who wanted some her comment and the comments of others are usually the same and that is---

for the first time in their life can't no one tell them WHAT THE HE!! THEY CAN AND CAN'T DO

in fact many would say that even NONJW would say, "Damn you are wilder than we are"

many feel that they must catch up with all the things they missed out on,-- even here on this site many males and females have spoken of how they upon leaving went on BED HOPPING SPREES but later on they realized the didn't need to screw everyone in town and many have now moved on to a new phase in thier life finding stable relationships instead of the ONE NIGHT STANDS AND SO FORTH

SO while it is true there are those who try to catch up on the "bad" things in life there are those who left wt and never exp that- -

i know for my wife and i we have been accused of everything by jw- word was out that James Left Lady "C" for a "White Woman", that we stole money from the circuit account to build our new home,

instead we have started our own biz , built a lonely home in the "Burbs' and we both are back in college and in 3 weeks we will both be 40 , we hope to start a family, we have no kids cause we were waiting to have our kids in the new systems YEA RIGHT--

SO FOR some who leave they merely go thru a phase in their life - it is all part of the journey our of wt-

but i know that for most who come to our home and we have 20-30 folks over at a time after a few years they settle down and go on to live what the wt told all of us that we never could live A NORMAL LIFE

Edited by - jt on 13 December 2002 19:50:57

Tashawaa

Speaking from a "newly" df'd point of view (out since Sept'02) - I've always been nuts !!!

Nahhhh... I think you have wacked people everywhere. So you mention that an ex-witness "over" celebrated her/his first X-mas - hell, I know JW's that don't own TV's, only talk about the "truth" (like nothing else in life matters), you know the "tighty-whity's".

their house was the most decorated in town! Just because you leave the organisation, it doesn't automatically make some of the teachings wrong. If you believed Christmas was pagan a few months ago, why the big change?

Well - a few months ago their family loved them and talked to them... friends spoke to them.... now they're shunned. Why the big change? They're the same people, making different choices. But everyone views them different. So they can now view the world the way they want to - FREEDOM of choice, and they are practicing it.

People do all sorts of things. Religious, non-religious, rich, poor, young, old - doesn't matter. Someone will throw you for a loop, and lumping all the Ex-JW's as "wackos" doesn't make your case.

rebel

Islandwoman & JT,

I agree with you - I think the pressure causes some to explode when they leave and I don't want to do that.

JT - I was 40 this year and it really is the year my life began, so the old adage that life begins at 40 is true for me!

I have 4 children aged 24, 22 and 20. My fourth child died when she was 5 but I still say I have 4 children because she is and always will be alive to me.

xxR

Room 215

All it shows is that JWs have no monopoly on weirdness, just as they have no monopoly on decency or godliness.

onacruse

"...I am not sure whether I am just a bit odd by nature or whether it is the years I spent in this organisation."

Perhaps, in a certain way, you just answered your own question. For myself, it's BOTH that I'm a bit odd by nature, AND was twisted by the years I spent in the org. When I was out the first time I explored certain things that were verboten, and since I've been out the second time I've explored certain things that were verboten.

But violating fundamental principles of self-respect and honorable treatment of others that I've always believed? Nah. And I'm not at all convinced that anywhere near the majority of those that leave DO go "wild." That's a misconception propagated by WTS spin doctors, imho.

Craig

Edited by - onacruse on 13 December 2002 20:55:45

Why do Some Ex-JWs go Wacko?

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