Freedom,
Elders are only "doing their job". The only power they have over us is the power we allow them to have. Consider them as human beings on your level, and treat them as such. Do not look "up" to them on that pedestal which they have placed themselves. Speak to them in love, but be firm in whatever you say, the "look" you give, or the way you "present yourself".. Body language says allot, and they pick up on any opening to get in there and dig your heart out.
But, they are really just like the rest of us, only someone gave them some power and they go to town on it. I feel so sorry for them but, I will not take any abuse from them...never have, and never intend to, ever again...