Pain

by MrMoe 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • MrMoe
    MrMoe

    Notice lately the threads discussing pain? Viv, Dave, Joelbear...

    We all come from different walks of life, some of us have had things easier than others on a personal level, and yet we share a common bond. We escaped the claws of a machine that told us how to think, feel, act, live, have sex, etc. We escaped. We are survivors.

    Is it just me, or do we all suffer extreme fear of rejection? After leaving the Jehovah's Witnesses, many of us here find ourselves groping for some sort of light, some type of answer to life itself. Some do this through other forms of spirituality or religion, others by simple personal meaning in thier lives. Some can't find the light, and sense thier lives have lost all meaning. I refuse to be one of those people. Refuse.

    Leaving the borg opens us up to emotion. Stop and think about it. Being a dub, we were not allowed to FEEL what we felt, that was controled. Anger is bad. Desire is bad. Lust is bad. Greed is bad. Competition is bad. Luck is bad. Everything but worshing Jehovahs and putting in our hours was bad. So, when you leave, there is a deluge of emotions, and yet no normal skills to comprehend them. Wow, look, we can do what we want, feel what we want, react the way we want... and yet, we don't know HOW.

    Socally retarded is a phrase that has been used, and I find it accurate. We are all hurting. None of us are OVER the borg or we would not be posting here. Some yes, are ALMOST over it... but... If we were TRULY over it, we would have moved on with our lives and not even give the word Jehovah's Witness a second thought. Tell me, any word connected to the religion, what sort of feelings or thoughts pop into your heart and mind? EXACTALLY. Guess what... we will never be "over it," not totally. It will always be there, be a part of us.

    I don't know about you, but pain is almost something I welcome. It is familiar to me, sparks an emotional response in me. Not that I choose to play the victim, but sh*t, what else makes a person feel the core of emotion other than pain agony or despair? Love, hope, blah blah... and guess what? I know what those things are, but it is the pain that stops me dead in my tracks.

    Like Dave's post earlier, I have gone thrugh friends and men like pantyhose. SLightest thing off... good-bye see you later. I don't want to open my inner self, don't want to trust. What the f**k is trust? Why the hell should I trust you? Why should I open myself up to you? You will only try to hurt me or control me, so why bother? And the very thng we do - isolate ourselves, is the very thing that hurts us. Say you don't do that, say you don't reject people, I am sure some of you don't... but admit it, we all ahve issues with trust.

    I celebrate Christmas, and try to love the holidays, etc etc, but have this horrible fear of my father's dissaproval that I even took my Christmas tree down. He knows I am an apostae, he knows I smoke, and yet we had the don't ask don't tell talk. But I am so worried, so afraid that one little thing will topple it all down. One little thing will set him off and I will loose my daddy forever. He is old, tired, and I want to let him down anymore.

    I LONG for a normal family. I long to have my mothers back, sitting with our family on Thanksgiving day eating turkey and stuffing like little happy piggies. It isn't going to happen. A) - One was a hard core dub B) they are both dead. Case closed.

    You know what? Fuck you Jehovah's Witnesses. It was because of you my first mother killed herself in the first place. God damn you, I am going to live my life. Not you or anybody else is going to get me down. I am a survior damn it. Try and stop me, you just try.

    Pain is familiar to all of us. Might as well learn to embrace it.

  • MrMoe
    MrMoe

    Landslide

    I took my love and I took it down
    I climbed a mountain and I turned around
    And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
    Well the landslide brought me down

    Oh, mirror in the sky
    What is love
    Can the child within my heart rise above
    Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides
    Can I handle the seasons of my life

    Well, I've been afraid of changing 'cause I built my life around you
    But time makes you bolder
    Children get older
    I'm getting older too
    Well...

    So, take this love and take it down
    Year and if you climb a mountain and ya turn around
    And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
    Well the landslide brought me down
    And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
    Well maybe
    Well maybe
    Well maybe the landslide will bring you down

  • bitter mango
    bitter mango

    crossroads

    all you folks think you own my life
    but you never made any sacrifice
    demons they are on my trail
    i'm standing at the crossroads of the hell
    i look to the left i look to the right
    there're hands that grab me on every side
    all you folks think i got my price
    at which i'll sell all that is mine
    you think money rules when all else fails
    go sell your soul and keep your shell
    i'm trying to protect what i keep inside
    all the reasons why i live my life

    some say the devil be a mystical thing
    i say the devil he a walking man
    he a fool he a liar conjurer and a thief
    he try to tell you what you want
    try to tell you what you need

    standing at the point
    the road it cross you down
    what is at your back
    which way do you turn
    who will come to find you first
    your devils or your gods

    all you folks think you run my life
    say i should be willing to comprimise
    i say all you demons go back to hell
    i'll save my soul save myself

    tracy chapman

  • WildHorses
    WildHorses

    Amanda, I just love that song and Stevie Nicks sings it so well.

    I can spell, really I can.

    Wanted to add that the song should be the theme song for all the ex jws raised in the religion. It fits.

    Edited by - Lilacs on 4 December 2002 20:52:50

    Edited by - Lilacs on 4 December 2002 20:56:12

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    Amanda, that was brilliant!!

    I would love to be able to go on with my life and forget I was ever a JW, but it isn't possible. I was one from the age of 4 to age 50. My life was molded by them. I guess they will always have a bit of a hold on me, because I want to SHOW them that life is so good without them. But they will never see that.

    When we left, I was like a kid (we all heard the illustration in the Family book) on that tight spring, that someone let go of. The feeling was amazing, freeing, and exhilirating. I loved it, and still feel it, but not like I did in the beginning. I am more settled now, and concerned about how my actions affect my family. At first I was only concerned about myself, for the first time really.

    Someone once said that the best revenge is to LIVE WELL. So I do.............absolutely.

  • LyinEyes
    LyinEyes

    I am mad at the WT for taking my mother away too , Moe. They have a hell of alot to answer for someday. I will never forgive them for the pain that she suffered because of their man made rules.

    That song,,,,,,,, Landslide,,,,,,,,,, I dedicated that song to my dad back several years ago, even before I truly distanced myself from him. It was really starting to hurt to love him so much, so I had to let go. I was in Denver, Co. while hubby was working and the moutains were beautiful. I had so much time to mediatate and that song came on while I was there. It seemed to fit my feelings at the time. It still does,,,,,,,,,, children get older,,,,, I'm getting older too. I somehow wished he woud "see my reflection in the snow covered hills" there in Denver. But he never did. He never asked for a picture of us there.

    Have you heard the Dixie Chicks sing Landslide,,,,,, they do a good job... but Stevie Nicks is the best.

    Stay strong Moe, like ya said, never let them get you down,,,,,,you are a survior.hugsss dede

  • MrMoe
    MrMoe

    (((((((((Bea, Lilacs, Mulan & DeDe))))))))))))

  • Mac
    Mac

    Moe,

    Profound

    mac

  • Vivamus
    Vivamus

    You are so right. In the borg, feelings were not something I really had. I'll give you an example, my aunt gave birth to a son, and he got terribly ill. Spend weeks in and out of hospitals and all I could think was "It doesn't matter, he'll die and gets resurrected in paradise, stop fussing about it". I have hurt my family immensely with an attitude like that, but it's like I was numb. I couldn't feel their pain, and couldn't comfort them. This year has been one of the hardest years in my life. I've never before had to deal with so much hurt and loss, all in a relatively short span of time. But it's also the first in many years that I've really lived, and not just existed. I've felt a lot of pain, but at least I've felt it. Beautiful post (((Amanda))) Edited to add, my cousin did get well again, and is a lively wonderful five year old now.

    Edited by - Vivamus on 5 December 2002 0:35:52

  • ugg
    ugg

    to feel anything negative as a jw,,,could be considered a lack of faith by most....there is no emotion,, only sick thinking,,,

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