What should I say?

santacruzchick

To refresh your memories, I was raised as a JW, as of the last few yrs my mom has been inactive (she's the only JW in the family). I was never baptized . About 2 yrs ago, a sister I kinda sorta knew came to the door and said that she heard I wanted to start studying. This, of course, was not true, I was enjoying my mothers inactivity,though I was still feeling that I should 'get back in the truth' because I had this fear of Armageddon at anytime and dying. So i reluctantly studied with her until the time came for me to move away to college. We never got far in the Knowledge book because she would spend most of the studies talking and talking and talking, I felt insulted because I already knew everything we were going over, i felt that it was a waste of time, yet I just couldn't gather the strength to tell this sister that I didn't want to study anymore, and of course I had the fear of Armageddon coming. Somehow.......... the sister never recieved my new address for college in order for her to contact the congregation in my college town to continue studying with me. Soooo...for the past 3 months I haven't had to deal with her or any other JWs, and of course in that 3 months time, I've discovered this site.

HOWEVER....winter break is begins next week, so I'm going home for about a month. I just got off the phone with my mom, and she said "Oh...whats her name...Sister so an so...dropped by the other day, " me>>, mom hasn't mentioned her calling or stopping by ever since I've been here, back to mom, "I told her that you weren't here, but you'd be here on Friday" Me... . Of course mom doesn;t know that I no longer want to study or have anything to do wih JWs. SO now, this faithful sister will come by on Friday, AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL HER! I don't know if i have the courage to tell her that after about 2 yrs of studying with her ( during this time she was pregnant, and brought her newborn with her to the studies, and she's in her 40s too, so she was usually tired and a bit weak since she was pregnant and whatnot) I don't want to study anymore. What should I do, or say? Any ideas on how I can tell her I don't want to study anymore? I became somewhat skilled at avoiding her and prentending to be sick or busy before, but I don't think that will work so well this time.

Brumm

You could just tell her that there's a lot occupying your mind right now and that you will give her a ring when you feel you are ready to start studying again. (Like in the year 2094).

Tell her the things occupying your mind are preventing you from taking all the information in, causing you to have a nervous breakdown (break down in sobs and chatter your teeth while blowing nose).

You dont have to tell her anything nastily, be nice and polite.

Brummie

Celia

Tell her that you're studying on your own.... And with school and all, you don't have much time left to meet with her anymore. Tell her that "you're making sure of all things", that you came upon some material about the Society that you want to research in depth... like the pedophile scandal, the UN scandal, all the failed prophecies... must be so much more.... others will be able to add to this I am sure.

Elsewhere

Tell her that you joined a satanic cult in college and need a virgin to sacrifice... then ask her if she is still a virgin.

larc

If she says she is not a virgin, ask her if she is the temple prostitute. Notice, that the pagans sacrifice the virgins, but not the prostitutes. I guess prostitution had some job security back in the Pagan days. Sorry we are starting to get silly. Please don't take offense.

AGuest

Peace to you!

What should I do, or say?

Tell her the truth. That covers both "do" and "say".

Any ideas on how I can tell her I don't want to study anymore?

If it's the truth, simply say, "I don't want to study anymore." Say, "That may change in the future, and if so, I will give you a call. But right now, that is how I feel." When she tries to get to the "bottom" of why... and attempts to disuade you, tell her, "I'm sorry, but life is waiting, so I have to go." And... go.

For truly, if your heart is not in it, of what benefit is it anyway? Wouldn't continuing be hypocritical... and deceitful? True, I am sure you know WHY you don't want to continue, but it is up to you to have the courage to tell her. Otherwise, although you may leave... with your flesh... if your heart is still there... are you truly FREE?

I bid you peace.

A slave of Christ,

SJ

Edited by - AGuest on 1 December 2002 22:11:40

Mum

Tell her you have mononucleosis, Epstein-Barr Syndrome, chronic fatigue, iron deficiency anemia, severe depression, or some other malady that makes it "impossible" for you to concentrate or expend the energy required to prepare lessons and everything else that goes with it.

Tell her you've been diagnosed with schizophrenia, multiple personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, syphilis, or some other malady that causes you to behave in an unpredictable and sometimes violent manner, that these attacks are random and impossible to control.

Or, do the Jake Blues to Carrie Fisher speech from The Blues Brothers, one of my favorite movie scenes. It goes something like, "I missed my exit on the freeway, an old friend came in from out of town, my cat died, I had a flat tire, I ran out of gas . . . . ." and so on.

Look up a list of excuses on the internet. There must be an excuse site.

I would like to tell you to be direct, but they just don't get it most of the time.

Do whatever it takes. Life is short and to be enjoyed!

Best wishes,

SandraC

freedom96

Many great suggestions listed above. I would encourage you to keep it simple; something to the effect that you are not ready right now, life is busy, but if you change your mind, she will be the first to find out.

A Paduan

You could tell her that you don't want to study jwism anymore because you believe they are mistaken - that you don't think they have the Spirit of Christ because he spent a lot of time healing people of illnesses and feeding them, giving whatever material goods he had, and jws do not do that, and in fact they are noticeably deficient at such things.

You could say that they have been led toward their doctrine of "telling people things" by their own desires to hang onto their material possessions for themselves, and at best, their kind. This fundamental diversion of belief has led them to invent false prophecy and diversions to the truth which satisfies their fear, but must be "updated" (new light) everytime the world doesn't end etc.

Due to such obvious flaws, you fell they are not as they claim at all, but indeed deluded, and that your time would be much better spent at christian endeavours as preaching everyday - without words.

Then say that you are by no means any sort of bible expert, but you do have faith that all will eventually become known to you, and that the Lord will always remember you, if you do what you know to be kind and right, which excludes the jw way of doing things - I doubt she will forget your response.

paduan

mustang

Another facet of the REAL TRUTH is that you are studying and are a full time college student. You have to maintain CONTROL of your time for your own purposes.

You have taken a class in time management and have discovered that the methods of study used by JWs are grossly inefficient. ()

This is not as far-fetched as it would seem. We have heard of the "engineered" busy-work methods that the WTS uses to occupy the time of the JW drones.

Also, a few years ago, an old acquaintance/Bible Study of mine tracked me down. He had gone totally "JW saved" and was suffering from terminal zealous-itis!!!! He sent me a memorial invitation and a copy of the latest Daniel book. When I opened the Daniel book, there was a SCHEDULE OF THE TUESDAY NIGHT BOOK STUDY!!!

I was appalled: 6 months plus for this short form, piss-ant version of the 60's original "Your Will Be Done" book. I got out a copy of the YW(?) original Daniel book and spent the next two nights reading, skimming and comparing the two. I whipped that 6 months of study into 2 nights. I was really and seriously after finding out the differences and looking for "new light". ( )

Well, I found what I was looking for.

OK, you could tell this person what you have learned about study methods. If she wants a study, it will be done on your terms and you will be the conductor. I'm sure that this will go over like a lead balloon. ( )

Best wishes,

Mustang

Edited by - mustang on 2 December 2002 2:38:50

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