You can't please all the people all the time

by Simon 61 Replies latest jw friends

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    Waiting,

    Actually, the WBTS have really missed out on that little prophesy!

    I can see it now: THE GREAT CRITICISM!

    Englishman

  • teejay
    teejay

    Simon,

    Although I'm not particularly passionate about more than a handful of issues, I can understand the passion that others have for certain subjects where I have absolutely none. I understand passion.

    I can also understand disagreeing with you (or anyone else). There aren't two people anywhere in the world who agree on every topic all the time. I understand disagreements.

    I therefore understand passionate disagreements. I understand how it's possible for people to feel so strongly and from a perspective so different from that of someone else that emotions can sometimes get out of whack and the core of the debate itself can be lost. I can further understand, with the foregoing facts in hand, why total harmony is often beyond reach.

    Yep, I can understand all of that.

    --------------

    What I can't understand--not for the life of me--is the outright VEHEMENCE I sense that a very small minority of (present and former) posters have for you, Simon. I just don't understand that.

    I mean... some have harped to the point of running it totally into the ground that you have been unfair/biased in some of your decisions -- that you have shown and continue to show favoritism toward some posters while putting others on a shorter leash, even deactivating them without true justification. (IMO, I think a valid case could be made supporting these allegations. Whether their case would win in a hypothetical court of law is up for debate.)

    But, aren't we ALL biased to some degree? I think we are. Don't we ALL favor those we like and do otherwise toward those we don't? I think we do. Are we ALL more likely to overlook the mistakes of our friends -- being silent about *their* mistakes while commenting on--even emphasizing--the mistakes of our rivals? I think so.

    Again, what I don't understand is the bitter emotions that some seem to harbor despite everyone knowing these basic realities of human nature.

    Perhaps I am the wrong one to be saying the following, but I don't understand why people have such a hard time simply stating their position on an issue of disagreement, perhaps debating it for a couple of rounds, and then LETTING IT GO.

    And lastly and most important: I don't understand why some seem to have such a difficult time coming to even an elementary understanding of the one or two restrictions you have placed on us -- restrictions that WE ALL should follow so that WE ALL might enjoy JW.com and find it useful. ( At the end of her post, Plum very eloquently and very simply put this last issue of censoring our words (or HAVING THEM CENSORED) into sharp focus, I thought. )

    I guess there are just some things I will never understand and that makes me kinda sad.

  • Trauma_Hound
    Trauma_Hound

    Simon, considering the lack of involvement in bash simon threads on JWO, I would think the obvious answer would be "No". However it seems I'm supposed to watch what I say here as well as everywhere else. So much for an abuse victim being able to vent once in awhile. I feel like I'm back in KH, where I have to watch what I do, even in public.

  • bigboi
    bigboi
    Simon, considering the lack of involvement in bash simon threads on JWO, I would think the obvious answer would be "No". However it seems I'm supposed to watch what I say here as well as everywhere else. So much for an abuse victim being able to vent once in awhile. I feel like I'm back in KH, where I have to watch what I do, even in public.

    Trauma-Hound it's called decorum dude. U are an IT professional. IT professionals deal with all types of ppl in their jobs. U know that what may be proper decorum in one place may be inappropiate somewhere else. the fact is in the real world u always watch what u say and what u do. That has nothing to do with freedom of speech(which is always relative) or the kingdom hall(which contains numerous other dynamics). This issue is not as black and white as Simon's detractors would like to convince themselves that it is. Still it isn't neccessarily a complex one, either. Actually it's quite grade school and childish.

  • Simon
    Simon

    I think I can explain some of my apparent favouritism quite simply:

    yes, I do have favourites - it would be unreasonable IMHO not to!

    People can strongly disagree with me and I have no problem with that whatsoever - I think heathly debate is good and I don't suppose I'm right about most things, least of all everything (just ask Angharad).

    I had a disagreement with reborn recently for instance ... no problem - we were on IM later and could understand each others position with no harm done.

    For others, the instance anything happens then the threats start - sometimes publicly but often privately by email. Now, call me 'biased' but I do not and will not treat people the same if they have at some point threatened me in some way with legal action or physical violence or as seems to be the favourite: spreading lies and gossip.

    Trauma Hound: Thank you.

  • Valis
    Valis

    There comes a point in time where you have to distance yourself from people who are just assholes or unpleasant to be around. We all know of people we would like desperately to call friends, but they keep with the bad attitude or much like a few posters here like to harp on one subject till it becomes useless to talk to them. Especially when you know the topic of conversation eventually returns to their favorite subject. As well, some people need a constant bitch to live their lives and prefer to be contrarian just because that position suits their nature. Boring really. Simon does a good job of keeping the db a great place to meet and discuss things. Even the troublesome ones have to admit they have made new associations here that they would have not otherwise. To them I would ask is this. Is it worth spoiling? For those who answer yes well then perhaps ulterior motives for being here exist or you are just an asshole of the plain old ordinary type and not worth our time. For those that answer no I would suggets finding something else to talk about and or getting something that resembles a life.

    Sincerely,

    District Overbeer

  • DannyBear
    DannyBear

    Teejay and Big,

    I think you both understand very well whats going on here!

    I learned very early on after turning 21, with license to drink in hand, that you had better be prepared to accept the consequences for where, with whom, you chose to imbibe. The wrong choice of atmosphere, location or clientle, will more often than not, be fairly predictable.

    In other words stay out of 'biker bars' unless you like wearing chain marks around the vicinity of your head. Stay out of 'cowboy' bars, unless you can put on a 'redneck' for the evening, and be willing to dance the two step, in lieu of a waltz. And by all means never, never, drink at a Somoan bar unless you weigh 350lbs, and can throw a decent right, while hugging at the same time.

    Decorum is where you find it.

    BearBarHop

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex
    What I can't understand--not for the life of me--is the outright VEHEMENCE I sense that a very small minority of (present and former) posters have for you, Simon. I just don't understand that.

    Teejay makes a cogent point. I've only been coming here for a few months, so I'm not like many of the old-timers. I've never met Simon, but he seems a good guy, with reasonable requests. On top of which, he's provided a forum for our debates, discussions and recovery from our JW experiences. What ever happened to good manners? I guarantee you that if guests in my house acted badly, I would ask them to leave. I don't have a problem with any of the people he's deleted, since it seems to me they were warned about consequences. To complain about it afterwards strikes me as the behavior of petulant children.

    I for one will always be grateful for having the ability to come here and meet all of you and listen to your viewpoints. My elders told me that I was the only one who was unhappy and had questions. I've always wondered about that until coming here. So this forum has given me a lot and for that, I'm grateful.

  • Valis
    Valis
    I guarantee you that if guests in my house acted badly, I would ask them to leave.

    Awww...I was so looking forward to acting badly during bible study... Yo Big T, we need to get together and practice acting badly soon. Tell cruzan I send my regards and throw in a couple pinches for me too.

    Sincerely,

    District Overbeer

  • COMF
    COMF

    I have just expressed my opinion on this subject through the Paypal link in the top right corner.

    However it seems I'm supposed to watch what I say here as well as everywhere else.
    Duh! No flies on you, huh, man. For the record, though... it's called "social interaction" and it's a normal part of a life that has other people in it.

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