My First Birthday Celebration

by Kristen 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • Kristen

    My First Birthday Celebration
    by Kristen 4/5/01

    Having been brought up in the organization since age 3, the only memory of a birthday celebration I had was an old photograph of when I was 2. In front of the camera was my sister and I, with a cake baked in a regular rectangle cake pan, frosted, and with two candles sitting on top. One candle had the figure nine, and the other had a figure 2. We were both born on the same day, seven years apart.

    My parents began studying with the witnesses the following year, which also meant that holidays and birthdays would no longer be celebrated in our family. I was young enough to adapt to the situation on account of it "being against my religion," but never could pass over that particular day without wishing in my heart that I could celebrate the day I and my sister were born.

    My sister never became a baptized witness, but I did. The belief system that I subscribed to up until my mid-20's convinced me that acknowledging the day I was born was not an acceptable thing to do and somehow wrong in the eyes of God. Only three "reasons" ever were given: 1) two stories of someone being executed during a birthday celebration, 2) a scripture with the thought that the day of one's death is greater than of being born, and 3) that it somehow promotes idolatry, or of too much importance of oneself.

    Still though, that day has always been special to me. And I always longed to make it real and not pretend that it had no significance.

    So, after 29 years of declining gifts and the well-wishes of schoolmates, workmates, and the like, and denying myself a celebration of life, I finally reached a point in my journey, that this year I would openly acknowledge my birthday. Yesterday was my birthday. Here's what happened:

    Before going to classes, I picked up a couple of bags of candy. At school, I handed it out to all of my classmates and accepted for the first time the happy birthday wishes that came my way. At first, it felt odd, but as time went on through two classes (and even a teacher bringing in treats for me), I couldn't believe how demonized the JW's make birthdays out to be.

    In the afternoon, I met my sister for lunch and we had our own celebration, our very first since 1974. We finally got to acknowledge our special day. I gave her a small gift, a book of daily thoughts, because she loves that kind of stuff. And she gave me a bouquet of flowers. I could feel deep inside myself a feeling of closure on something that was long coming.

    Today when I arrived at work, my cubical was decked out with banners and glittery hanging thingies with more happy birthday messages. In front of my cubical was a spread of food, contributed from all in our department. More happy birthday wishes came my day, all day long from those who came by to nibble. I got to know many new people from the friendly chit-chat that seemed to naturally flow from that setting.

    So for two days I have been celebrating this occasion. And I think of all the goodwill that has occurred between me and the people that I interact with on a daily basis. Yes, I feel really good, and more normal, accepting and acknowledging this "custom". For the first year I didn't have to explain to anyone that I don't celebrate, or have to keep it all locked inside, wishing it were different.

    For the first time in my life I feel a freedom that I've never experienced before. Even if the birthdays of the rest of my life don't happen like this one, being able to openly acknowledge a fact of life with the people that surround me daily has been an experience I'll never forget. I didn't expect anything from anyone. I have no presents to show for it. But yet, it has brought great joy to me.

    And this is supposed to be displeasing to God? I just can't see how.

  • Uni girl
    Uni girl

    its weird isn't it. celebrating your first glad that it went so well congrats...

    Keep smiling the witnesses are just a joke, how can remembering your day of birth be bad just cos John the Baptist had his head cut off??

    Well good that it was wonderful Im pleased for you

  • Jimmer

    If you think your birthday was enjoyable to celebrate, wait til Christmas rolls around. You'll have a blast!

  • DrunkWithLiberty

    Happy Birthday! My birthday is in April also. This will be my 3rd one to celebrate since I left. Reading your post brought tears to my eyes and I had to reply. I love to celebrate birthdays, especially my children's and husband's. It is an expression of gratitude for their being born and in my life. How neat that you and your sister share the same birthday.Enjoy your freedom.
    Hugs, angie

  • justbeingafriend

    Kristen..I enjoyed reading how you spent your birthay..Glad you were finally able to celebrate the day you were born...So from me to you..I say..(though it is belated)happy birthday to you..and many more..:)I will close on this thought...How can celebrating one's birthday be displeasing to God...because isn't He the one that gave us the miracle of life in the first place?

  • Kristen
  • peaceloveharmony

    i also want to wish you a happy belated birthday. glad had you a great day on you and your sister's special day

    and i hope you have many more happy birthdays


    edited to add:
    happy birthday to DrunkWithLiberty too

  • claudia

    Kristen and Drunkwith, happy birthday!!!!!! Kristen was your sis suprised at your celebrating? Do your parents know?

  • Kristen

    Thank you again, all. And Happy Birthday to you too, Angie!

    My parents at this point do not know. I'm curious at what might happen if/when they find out. There is a brother from my cong who works at the same place that I do and I know he saw all that was going on. You couldn't miss it! At one point of the day I heard him conversing with someone nearby and I was waiting for him to poke his head in my cube and give me the business. It will be interesting to see how he deals with me going forward.

    If there is any inquiry from our elder body soon, I'll know why. Also, because he knows, I'm going to count the days and see how soon the grapevine takes to reach my parents, who are pioneering where the need is great in another state.

    It's not easy "laying low", but someday I'm hoping I'll be able to live my life without ducking around corners.

    Oh, and my sis... Well she never, ever made an issue out of my not celebrating our birthday. But I know its something she's missed her whole life too. She was quite surprised and happy when I declared to her about two months ago that I wanted to celebrate this year.

  • Seven


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