"Upright" JW behaviour vs. "Worl...

by Esmeralda 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • mole

    Tina, you stole my thunder! Great observation. We have a friend in the org who does exactly as you describe. If she gets in front of our other friends (worldly) she curses and talks about sex to the extent in which I have never heard ANYONE outside ever talk. I must admit I too still feel a little akward in social situations, guess its the "no part of the world" stigma still in my system, I'm getting much better though. Its amazing to hear others describe the situations in which I have encountered, but felt it was only my observation.

  • Tina

    Hi mole and welcome,

    I kinda figured that too many behaved that way- I did know some who(probably because they were not raised JW's,or their job/career modeled acceptable social interaction,or had other family not in the 'trooth' or some other societal exposures ) who were ok in that area tho,,,but not many.... too many were/are socially 'stunted' thanks for the input! regards,tina

  • rem

    Yep, this is just all too familiar.

    Every year my wife and I go skiing with a bunch of witness friends from all over the country. It seems like these people can't have a good time if the alcohol is not flowing freely. I'm not one to drink much, and just a little goes a long way for me, but there is just so much pressure to drink with that group (it almost makes me uncomfortable) that we all end up getting drunk, running around the cabin practically tearing the place down. Just when I think we learned our lesson the year before, the pattern starts up again. If I were never a witness I would never suspect us of being Christians in our drunken stupor.

    Of course, as a proud apostate, I don't feel guilty (nor do I think that our friends feel guilty for their behavior either), but I do see through the hypocrisy of this religion. The thing is that I know that their behavior at these trips is not just isolated incidents - this happens all year long at various functions.

    On the other hand, I just went to a "worldly party" with some friends at work. My wife and I couldn't believe how well behaved everyone was - even though there was alcohol freely available. Not one drunk person! No belligerent behavior. That kinda opened our eyes to the myth that is the "True Christian Witness Behavior".


  • Tina

    Hi All,
    Just wanted to bring this back to the top and hopefully get more responses/experiences,regards,Tina

  • rob

    I, too, in my jw days, "witnessed" much alcohol abuse. My ex-husband, then a witness had a serious drinking problem from his youth forward. I, too, was thrown up on. All of my friends, male and female overindulged. I have to wonder if the pain involved in living in such an oppressive environment contributes to these "drunken bouts." Thank goodness I never fell into overdrinking and am now very proudly married to a "worldly" man who will not touch a drop of alcohol.

  • Esmeralda
    Thank goodness I never fell into overdrinking and am now very proudly married to a "worldly" man who will not touch a drop of alcohol.

    I feel the same way, Rob! I drank very, very rarely during my first marriage, and I've never been
    drunk in my life. I remember the day I gave it up for good, though, even socially. One night, right
    before I decided to go through with my divorce, Mike and I were fighting and I couldn't stand it...
    and I actually opened the fridge and looked to see if there was enough alchohol in it to get me
    drunk. Suddenly, it hit me; alchoholism runs rampant in my family and that is something that
    I did not want to repeat. I poured every ounce of it in the house down the
    drain and have never touched a drink since. Haven't missed it either.

    My second husband, raised 'worldly' doesn't touch a drop either. He's tasted it but never
    cared for it, and living on a college campus totally turned him off to the idea of getting wasted
    (as most of the people he had to live with in dorms constantly were). We are proud
    to have an alchohol free household, by choice, because that's what works for us.

    I will never forget the smell of alchohol on the breath of my ex's dad, the P.O of the congregation
    we were in. It was a constant. Just the thought of it still makes me gag.

    Glad that you, like me, found a man who is a much better fit for you than before!


    The Four Agreements:
    Be Impeccable With Your Word
    Don't Take Anything Personally
    Don't Make Assumptions
    Always Do Your Best

  • Francois

    Drinking is one of the few "vices" allowed the witnesses and of course when alcohol is involved, sex is the city to which all roads lead. Since witnesses are "OK" with alcohol, they revel in it, wallow in it, soak in it, and use it to dull the pain of a dull existance.

    Have you ever noticed that, generally speaking, most elders and before them congreation overseers, were all either educated and had money, or for some other reason had money...more than the average publisher? Amazing how that works, isn't it?

    I was told, at the age of 18 and about to start college, that it would be foolish to go to college - what with armageddon coming any time now and all. I was told this by a congregation overseer who owned a real estate company and who was richer than three feet up a bull's ass.

    "Be like buying up property and building a shopping center on it when you know there's a four-lane highway going to be built right through there. Be silly. A waste of time, wouldn't it now, son? You just forget about that college thing. Why, I'll give you a good job making plenty of money helping take care of my rental properties. You can do that 'till Armageddon gets here.

    'Course I don't think it would be a good idea for you to marry my daughter right now, what with armageddon coming any time now and all. Bad idea to have children this side of the great tribulation.

    Just forget about that college business. I can start you at minimum wage, since you don't have any experience. But you'll be making good money pretty soon. Just forget that college business."

    All this was 38 years ago.

    Oh, and some other things. I got my college degree. Two of 'em. And now I'm in the top 1% of income earners. And I left the JWs years ago. And the jerk's daughter has three children, and still peddles the WT door-to-door - more furiously than ever, what with armageddon coming any day now and all.

    No one ever went broke underestimating the stupidity of Jehovah's Witnesses

  • jimmyjames


    I just have to ask this because it itches me every time I read one of your posts- is that a picture of Michelle Forbes? If not, you look an AWFUL lot like her. (That's a compliment). :-)

  • larc


    Our numbers are pretty similiar. I started college 42 years ago. When I told three of my friends, they said that Armageddon would be here before I finished. Of course, they are all grandparents now, and some will be great grand parents in the near future. I got advanced degrees, was pretty frugal most of my life and retired at fifty nine and a half at 100% of pay. By contrast, my JW sister who was valedictorian of her class never went to college. Her and her husband never prepared for retirement because of the nearness of Armageddon. Her husband hates his job and will have to stay with it until the day he dies.

  • mommy

    My 19 year old brother was driving home from a gathering held at an elders house. He was pulled over for a DWI. The brothers in the congregation decided he had a problem, and he was swiftly DF. Of course nothing happened to the elder or anyone else who was at the gathering.
    One of my sisters hid Vodka bottles under her bed. When we found them and told our mother, her reply was,"She is old enough to drink" Of course, I am told that my sister still has vodka bottles under her bed.
    I think, and have said before that your lifestyle shouldn't be a hard thing to do. You shouldn't live your life day in and day out feeling guilty you don't measure up. Alot of times people use alchol to numb the pain or to escape. We now on the outside looking back can see what they are escaping from. My heart goes out to those that are still in.

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