Earthly Resurrection Belief is INSANE

by PopeOfEruke 32 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • plmkrzy
    plmkrzy

    once upon a time long ago the WTS believed that we only reproduced for the purpose of filling the earth anyway. So once the earth was filled up no one would have children and everyone would be NON-sexual.anybody else recall that?

    I think in the more recent years they have decided to leave the door more open on that subject. Afterall, what a waste of all those planets it would be to just stop on earth. forever and ever and ever and ever...

  • hooberus
    hooberus

    Where has the WT said that the "resurrected" will be asexual?

    They use the scripture that said the resurrected ones will be like angels, neither marrying nor given in marriage and they apply it to those having the earthly resurrection.

    If you're really serious about a reference, I can look it up and give you one.

    Farkel

    Farkel I would really like to see a watchtower reference where they teach this. Thanks

  • Downunderandout
    Downunderandout

    I am so embarrassed that I used to teach this stuff to my bible students and would fumble over explanations etc.

    I am probably even more embarrassed that before now I believed the wts reasoning and explanations even when they did not really make sense to me

    I would like to think that there was something more, I am even booked into to see a clairvoyant tomorrow scary and exciting

  • Beck_Melbourne
    Beck_Melbourne

    DOU

    I am even booked into to see a clairvoyant tomorrow scary and exciting

    I wanna come too!!! *said in a whiney voice*

    Don't be embarassed that you believed the WT doctrine, we all did because we wanted to. For some of us it was right at the time...and so we were ready to accept it...even though I was born into it, I still embraced the teachings and rejoiced that I was lucky enough to be one of the chosen few - BAH!

    Like you, I'm so glad to be Downunder and OUT!

    ~Beck~

  • Downunderandout
    Downunderandout

    Thanks for your words Beck, and no you can't come, I am going to be totally selfish and have the entire time about me!!

    but I will let you know how is goes...

    DUO

  • Beck_Melbourne
    Beck_Melbourne
    but I will let you know how is goes...

    Waiting patiently for an email

    ~Beck~

    ps...whispering to DOU, tomorrow is here now...and???

  • jimbob
    jimbob

    Here's how a conversation might go between a resurrected person (we'll call him Steve) and a JW Armageddon survivor (we'll call him Paul)....

    Paul: Hey Steve, I'm so glad to see you here after your death. Welcome to the New World!

    Steve: Thanks Paul. It's good to see you made it too. But I'm feeling a little funny...

    Paul: Why's that?

    Steve: Well, you see, when I woke up from being resurrected, I noticed my penis was missing...

    Paul: Say what, dude?????

    Steve: I mean, my schlong.......IT AIN'T THERE!!!

    Paul: You gotta be kidding me!! So what.....were you resurrected as a woman?

    Steve: No, I mean I'm still a dude, I just don't have any equipment...here, look......(Steve drops his pants)

    Paul: Whoa.....dude, I did NOT need to see that!!!! Man, you're a FREAK!! How the hell are you supposed to take a leak?

    Steve: Man, I don't know........

    Paul: Hey, you know, I just saw you're wife. You know, she never remarried after you died, and now that we're all young, she's looking pretty hot!!! I think I might get to know her a little bit better. And since you're without a weiner, she won't be sleeping with you anymore..Ha Ha Ha...

    Steve: Hey, that ain't funny...are you telling me you're gonna be banging my wife..?

    Paul: That's exactly what I'm saying........later!

    Yeah......life in the new world.....gotta love it!!

  • PopeOfEruke
    PopeOfEruke

    Jimbob!

    thats a classic! I nearly pi**ed myself laughing - till I found out my wiener is also missing!

    And where will all the resurrected husbands and wives live?? With their old partners who are probably remarried and probably happy as s*it that their useless first husband/wife is dead....I don't think so!

    I imagine huge tent cities of billions of misplaced people, living monotonous sexless lives for all eternity! Now thats sounds like HELL ON EARTH!

    Pope

  • TR
    TR

    Yeah, but does Steve's wife even have a pussy?

    TR

  • emancipated
    emancipated

    Hey, some of you guys on here are just too damn funny! Any real life comedians who post on here? Some of you here could easily make money that way!

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit