Are they trying to make me feel like crap?
- Make up a presentation about all the pedophiles in the organization and how a jw might react.
I like the idea of canceling at the last minute on the arrogant elder.
Go ahead and do the one with your BIL since you sense he has no agenda if you want to.
(as long as they are not on the same night) or maybe you already got that one with your BIL out of the way....
The nice thing about canceling is you dont get in any real tangible trouble but you sure will tick off the arrogant elder and he will have to work a little bit to get the demo covered by someone else...it will be good for him, lol.
I like the idea of undermining jw teaching if at all possible. Use it fir good, then withdraw from school.
OTOH, you could eat a few ex lax and have a viable excuse for staying home again. Just so your wife is sympathetic. Mention the roach coach lunch in passing(gas, or whatever you are passing at that point ;) )
- StarTrekAngel, just say NO. If they have your best interests at heart they wont push you, if they do push then say that (if you had my best interests at heart you wouldn't push me) and walk away. DONT feel bad about it, God isn't going to strike you down for not wanting to be a hypocrite. You have nothing to reproach yourself for. If they are doing this to you to make a point then the shame is on them.
I would never think of asking an inactive JW to help with demos when I had parts that called for it. When I became a MS, I started asking any active JW to help with demos, just to spice things up from hearing the same 6-8 people in the congregation give demos. I asked a barely active but regular JW couple to help give the WT and Awake presentations for the month and my COBE approached me that I should run it by him who I used onstage for demos because the couple were not a zealous example.
Something is very fishy with the original post. There is probably something behind the BIL and the elders motives to ask you to do this part.
- Years after I was inactive, I was asked to go in fs. I hadn't been to meetings or participating in any way. Weird.
So the week of the said assignment is here. I finally decided that I don't want do it. I told my wife today (since her and my oldest daughter are supposed to be in it as well) and at first she said it was ok, that she would do it with my daughter. I said that I did not think it was possible but then I realized that my real problem is that I do not agree to present this as a spiritually speaking mono parental house. I told her that I felt they wanted me to look like a hypocrite in front of my family. She was somewhat receptive to my feelings and politely asked me why I don't just talk to them. She suggested that I tell them straight out that I am having doubts and I would like to quit the MS until I work on it. Obviously, that sounds phenomenal at first look. I told her that I thought it was a great suggestion, especially if we both be in agreement but I also pointed out that wether we like or not, such statement would open up pandora's box and that eventually an elder would come around inquiring of me.
I definitely feel strongly towards this opportunity of dropping out of the MS but I would have preferred to do so under different reasons. I have a bit of a situation here because...
- Mother in law lives with us and if this evolves into something worst she may choose to move out. I know this could also be ideal but she really helps us with our kids while my wife works. If it wasn't for her, we would have to get a day care, forcing my wife to work just to dump all her pay into the system. We really can't afford that right now.
- Mother in law sleeps with the kids most nights and she tends to answer their questions when we are not listening (bed time). Sometimes the kids asks and I could actively answer them before she does but at the same time she has the tendency to answer questions that have not been asked, if you know what I mean.
- In the other hand, eventually word will spread around and I know a couple of sisters that love to stab in the back. They will probably begin treating my children as spiritual orphans.
- In the short term, I am afraid that someone will try to replace me in this assignment. The theme is about Jehovahs advice for children and a father figure is almost mandatory in such scenario. I warned my wife that if they do that I am going to be utterly pissed. She doesn't seem to think such would happen but I've had a couple of situation where elders have jumped the gun on me in order to get their nose into family affairs.
In the short term, I see it as a good thing. My only idea right now is to make the whole thing as confusing as possible for the elders so that they will think twice before approaching me with their "shepherding". In the long term, I know that the questioning will eventually become greater and greater. In your opinion, would it be difficult to maintain an environment where they stay away from me while sparing my family of their harmful counsel towards me?
Tell the COBE and School overseer that you would like to speak to them about a very sensitive subject. Privately tell them that you are having anxiety issues and would like to "temporarily" step down from the school. Tell them that you are currently getting treatment for the anxiety, but for now, you need to focus on your mental health and need to be humble about your circumstances and recognize your limitations, but that you are also embarrassed and would appreciate their confidentiality.
That's what I did. They offered sympathy and some "comforting" scriptures and said that I should take all the time I need and let them know when I am ready again.
So as an update, I called one of the elders. Fortunately for me, Mr Arrogant elder, head of the MS is out of town visiting (wait for it...) Bethel. So I called another elder. One that I've known for a very long time. One of those elders that are just as much of a victim as any other R&F. He doesn't know it off course, but you can tell that his position as an elder has not gone up to his head. Very decent guy. I explained to him that I did not feel comfortable doing the assignment and told him that I felt the pattern was no coincidence. I stopped short of blaming anyone at this point. I want this to be confusing to them, not confrontational. He thanked my for my sincerity and integrity and he agreed that it would be bad for me to take on such assignments. I told him that I would rather not take in any more parts for the time being. I explained I've been having issues at work and some other family related matters that have caused me a great deal of anxiety. The issue of raising children came up (he is a father of two as well.) and he agreed that family is first. He also stated that "the society has always said it" that family should be our top priority. He also commented on how draining his job as an elder is. He honestly believes all the "Times of the end" crap because he says that he has been attending meeting with the CO and "the state of the local congregations is concerning" (his words). He related the high number of cases of depression, decease and "pressure from the world". To him these are signs that the GT will explode any second now. I nodded to everything he said while I was wondering how many of said congregation are being rattled by the news coming from Australia and else where.
So in a nutshell, I did not directly quit the MS but I did tell him I did not want any more assignments. Time will tell if he did hear me right and if he will communicate this properly to the other elders and especially to the MS elder. I will keep posting updates as they happen. I am pretty sure some of the other elders will like to have a word with me when they hear the news. Like I said before, my aim is to get them confused. Confusion has managed to keep this religion afloat just as much as it has perpetuated the UFO and alien theories. Might as well try and see if it works on this case.
It's time for you to quit the Ministry School - for personal reasons!
I fully agree. Or else:
"Honey, I remember you telling me that the other day in field service, a householder asked you about some Australian Royal Commission. Instead of covering this week's material as a family, we will have to study that on our own, because we are going to learn about what's happening in Australia so that we can be ready to make a response in service.