I just can't believe how bad I feel right now! Today started off well. I was feeling upbeat, because I was going to take my written exam to be a cab driver. I went to the Taxicab Authority here is Las Vegas. I took the test and I was surprised at how much that was on the test was not on my study guide that was given to me. I was sure that I failed and as it turns out I did. I could only get eight answers wrong to pass and I got twelve wrong. Oh well. I am going to take it again in two days, so it is no big deal. Anyway, I came home and made the dumbest decision I could have possibly have made.
I decided to take some of my money and go play poker. Why? I don't know! Perhaps, because I hate myself and I was doing this to purposely punish myself! Anyway, I get there and after playing for about ten minutes of Texas Hold Em, I get two cards: a pair of fives. Ok, not a bad hand. So I call and the first three cards are layed down: king, nine, and five. Great! I have a three fives, so I raise. The next card is layed down and it is another nine. So here I have three fives and a pair of nines. I have a full house. This a great hand. At this point I am thinking to myself that I must have this came beat, so I raise. Then it is down to only me and the this other guy. The last card comes down and it is a two. The card doesn't help me, but it doesn't matter, I have a full house. So I bet and then he raises. I call him. So I have a pair of fives and on the table there is a king, nine, five, nine, and two. Now, I am thinking that I have this game in the can. So we then show both our cards.
THE GUY HAS TWO NINES AND WITH THE OTHER TWO NINES ON THE TABLE, HE HAS A FOUR OF A KIND! I COULDN'T F***KING BELIEVE IT. I HAD A FULL HOUSE! THERE WAS ONLY ONE WAY HE COULD HAVE POSSIBLY BEATEN ME AND HE HAD IT!UNF***KINGBELIEVABLE! HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED!? I KEPT A STRAIGHT FACE, BUT INSIDE I WAS SO MAD!
I then quickly grabbed my remaining chips and I left. I knew it! I knew it! I should have never gone to play poker. Even while I was going there, I knew it was a bad idea! What am I going to do? I don't think I can ever play poker again. I think that you have to have a certain skill and I don't have it.
Now the rest of my week is shot. I will probably feel bad for two or three days. The worst of my problems is my make up exam on Friday. I don't know how will I be able to study for it with this bothering me. God, I want this job so bad. I can't stand being had home all day, doing nothing. I am here in this city and I don't know anyone. I can't stand not having any human contact. Please, don't tell me that I have to meet people, because I can't. I have no social skills. Anyone, who meets me will either find me uninteresting or annoying, because when I met someone I either don't say anything or I talk a lot. So I have to accept that I will not have any friends. It sucks, but that is the way it is.
Now I know that I am going to get a whole sh*t load of e-mail from people telling me that I am addicted to gambling and that I have to stop so GO AHEAD, LET ME HAVE IT! I don't give a f**k!
And if anyone wants to drop me an e-mail remember, I AM A GUY!