Are we bitter people or just victims?

by cocolocoii 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • cocolocoii

    I am a jehovah's witness until today, but I don't know if I'll continue to be one of them tomorrow.
    I said that because for once my eyes are open to reallity and I can clearly see that there is not organization beyond our Creators name.
    I see a lot or imperfect man trying to do what is right, but allways those desires are corrupted by their pride or greediness.
    I think that in the watch tower organization are really a lot of people who really wants to served God. But I think too that there are a lot a people who doesn't have love and mercy for their brothers
    A well known saying says that You will catch more fly with honey than with vinager.
    This doesn't mean that people are allowed to do whatever they want without any respect for God's word in the Bible. But to what extent does man has to punish his fellows to prove themselves righteous.
    I am bitter because in one hand I know that there are a lot of good in what we consider bad(organization), but in the other hand I know that there are a lot bad that organization has cuased to people.
    In one way they have assumed God's role in judging people. I think that they too have a little of the pharises theachings. They forgat that love and compasion means more than an standart of rules and regulations.
    I am a victim of my own desires of my own imperfections and mistakes, I am a victim of me because in one hand I want to do what is right but I do some time the opposite. I love to read about Jesus life, how he showed compasion for sinners without reproching them. I think that people respond with more efectiviness with love and not with punishment evendough punishment it is necesary for Wicked, is Jehovah who will judge them. So I understand all the negative feeligs toward society. I think that in my case it is like a crying all loud for undertanding and affection.
    Bitterness will bring you more bitterness, but love will cover a lot of badness.

    Are we bitter or Victims? What do think and how do you feel about it?

  • Simon

    I think there are a surprisingly few number of bitter people considering how many victims they have made. That said, I'm sure many of us have felt a bit bitter at times.

  • unclebruce

    Hello Cocolocoii,

    Good post. Personally, I see the WBTS as sirens on the rocks calling unsuspecting men to their doom. Like the sea-nymphs of ancient mythology us unsuspecting mariners are lured onto the rocks of doubt and uncertainty by our own lusting after the materialistic, seductive promises of life eternal on a paradise earth. One day you wake up and find yourself washed up and abandoned on the rocks, seeing reality through the haze and starting lifes jouney afresh determined to clear the residual zombiness from your being and never be fooled again by appeals to ones base carnal desires.


  • CornerStone

    Hello Cocolocoii,

    I think it is a little of each. To those who were NOT shown Christ-like love and understanding for the most part are victims of wolves in sheeps clothing. This in turn can and will cause bitterness. On the other hand our own faillings can blind us to the point of percieving ourselves as victims and this can and will cause bitterness. There is no easy way to cope with such intense feelings. All roads to recovery start with us taking the first step however.

    There are times when simple forgiveness can relieve a lifetime of bitterness. Recovery from acute bitterness may be as complex as the reasons for the bitterness, but it may also be as simple as three spoken words: “I forgive you.”

    31Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior. 32Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
    Ephesians 4:31 NLT

    As to JW and ex-JW's being victims of the org., I firmly believe that their day is coming. Weather for good or for bad there will be a reckoning, a day of justice.

    1But there were also false prophets in Israel, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will cleverly teach their destructive heresies about God and even turn against their Master who bought them. Theirs will be a swift and terrible end. 2Many will follow their evil teaching and shameful immorality. And because of them, Christ and his true way will be slandered. 3In their greed they will make up clever lies to get hold of your money. But God condemned them long ago, and their destruction is on the way.
    2 Peter 2: 1-3 NLT

    I believe God promises us a bright future. It's not easy licking our wounds, so to speak, but I have more hope for tomorrow than I have regret for the past. Anyway, hope this makes sense.


  • ozziepost

    G'day all,

    Nice post unc. You're waxing lyrical today, eh? I can't top that, old son.

    Are we victims or bitter? Does there have to be a choice? I find in my own case that at times I AM ANGRY at the wicked works done in God's name, especially by the elder class. Then at other times I am more sad than bitter. Sad for all the people putting their efforts into complying with onerous rules (5 meetings, 10 hrs field service, length of skirts, dating, music, movies, etc etc). Ray Franz termed them "victims of victims". How appropriate!

    So in answer, I'll have a bet each way!

    Ozzie (of the un non-anopinted class)

  • waiting

    This is a post I've saved from Farkel about another Jehovah's Witness, Rick (owner of H20 Website) who was starting down the path of questioning their beliefs in the WTBTS. It's great.
    It is part of the process. If you've ever lost a great love in your life, you would understand. I know. I did. First you hate her, then you love her. You are angry at her, and at the same time blame yourself. Then you are sad and confused. It's a cycle that repeats itself until you reach the level called acceptance.

    A relationship with the Watchtower organization is much the same. They promised that you would never die. They promised you unconditional love. They betrayed you and you vacillate from anger to hate to love to self-doubt to sadness. It's very hard to let go of a true love and of a person/organization that you trusted with every essence of your life.

    Eventually it resolves itself, but not without a lot of contradiction and conflict in the meantime.

    Rick is exactly where he needs to be right now in that process. It's up to him to get through it all. And he will, but not without pain and grief as the process unwinds.


    Hello cocolocoii,

    Love your name. Welcome to our forum - hope you stay around for a while. There's much to read and many sites to learn about WTBTS.

    Welcome to our place.


  • Legaleagle2000

    I've run the gamut of emotions: first I blamed myself and my perception of things and everything I saw happening. I was convinced that my way was the wrong way, that I wasn't showing love for the brothers by pointing out their flaws. Then I went into total shock at the miscarriages of justice I witnessed. After that,anger, and finally, resignation. But I don't regret the journey, nor the place it has taken me, for it drove me closer to Jehovah than I had ever been in my life, save for childhood years when Jehovah was the one I called to to protect me from a drunken, Bible thumping father. I learned that not only could I continue to have a relationship with Jehovah outside of the Kingdom Hall, but that I had finally made Jehovah my God, my father, and my friend. No mere man can take that away from me. They can shun me, call me names, spit at me, I don't care, because I don't need them to validate my relationship with Jehovah. And with every cruelty they heap on me, it convinces me even more that they are Godless, soulless creatures who Jehovah will destroy for scattering and bludgeoning his sheep. So feel whatever it is you're feeling, and then ask Jehovah to take the burden from you. Don't let the brothers rob you of what is righfully yours: a loving relationship with a loving father.

  • Esmeralda

    Hi, welcome to the board, I hope you don't mind if I call you Coco :)

    You know...I don't think of myself as either of those things. I know there was a time when I was
    very bitter. You can't go through something as life altering as leaving the organization and
    losing your family and not be, at least for awhile. But I won't get stuck there. To me
    that would mean giving them more years of my life, and that is one thing I won't do either.

    I don't consider myself a victim, I was born into a family that was cult controlled: it happens
    to many people of various 'religious' backgrounds.

    I am just grateful on a daily basis that I had the sense to get out in my twenties, while my
    child is young and I can hopefully have some influence on her...and I am grateful that I survived
    it all, with the help of my new husband, because my life is better now than it ever has been.

    Victim? No. Survivor? Definitely.

    I wish you peace, Coco, and welcome again to the board.


    The Four Agreements:
    Be Impeccable With Your Word
    Don't Take Anything Personally
    Don't Make Assumptions
    Always Do Your Best

  • Prisca

    Bitterness may be an emotion we have at first, when the rose-coloured glasses fall off and we see the organisation for what it really is.

    But after a while, whether that be weeks, months or years, you have to come to an acceptance of sorts and move on with your life. The emotions may surface now and again, maybe when a friend or family member shuns us, or when we read of others' suffering at the hands of unloving elders.

    But a harbouring of resentment or bitterness is not healthy. It is far better to turn that energy into positive pursuits, and not let the dictates of the Society affect our lives any more.

  • Grunt

    I am angry. I was lied to and had my trust betrayed by a group of people who were themselves just as decieved as I was. I am also angry because this cult has hostages that I love.

    I am bitter. I am bitter over my own stupidity and the people I hurt because of this foul group. My bitterness also grows from the fact that in my trusting ignorance I exposed innocent people and led them to believe the tortured "truths" extracted from the Bible and spun in Brooklyn into a cruel fairytale.

    Despite the anger and the bitterness, I do not define my presence here by those emotions. I am here as truth-teller. I don't know if you have ever seen The Grapes of Wrath, but in one scene an Okie who has been to California and is returning tries to tell the Okies on their way out full of hope, about the tricks being played upon them, of the deceptive fliers put out with offers of good pay and lots of work. His advice is unappreciated and he is called a troublemaker. He says, "I am just trying to tell you what it took me a year, a wife and two dead children to learn" or words to that effect. It didn't matter, the hopeful Okies saw him as a liar. We are like that. We have been there and come back. We have bought experience, paid for at a premium price. We want to share that information, not for personal gain of any kind but to warn the others off the destructive path by telling them about the stench in Brooklyn and the ruses used on them.
    Our true stories are disputed and we are labeled as trouble-makers. No matter. We told the truth.

    Though angry and bitter I see my role as an honest eye-witness, maybe even a champion of sorts to those who don't realize they need one and who may in fact resent it. For their own sake, I try to strike down the lies and tell them the way things really are. I do not see myself as a victim but as an opponent who has won his own battle and is now helping to win the war. The enemy is a coward and no threat having only bluster and hot air with no muscle to back it up. If we can only open the eyes of these sheep to see that villian as he is then we have the victory. It has happened a lot which is encouraging.

    You too have bought experience and are sharing it. It swells my heart to see the quality of the people on our side of the fray. I have no doubt that this sect will be brought to its knees and finally decaptiated. I want to be there to see it and would be happy to sharpen and if the honor was allowed, to swing the axe. There are a lot of good people being taught to hate by twisting a message of love and corrupting it with selfishness, egotism and false promises. I will be glad to see that tongue silenced, and the bricks from that group of buildings pulverized and dispersed.

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