Will you attend?
Really enjoyed reading your post because it demonstrates the catch 22 we face with loved ones in the Tower. As others already said, you handled the situation well. I can't think of a better way of showing your grandmother love, but not allowing the Tower to control you. Who knows, your unconditional love might cause your grandmother to rethink a few things--we never know, do we?
Joel, telling your parents you would think about it gives them the hope you'll return. I'm sure you already know that. It's not a comfortable spot when you care about their feelings, while being true to yourself. Easy answers seldom work for difficult situations, and families ALWAYS make situations difficult! Add the Watchtower to the mix, and things go from difficult to crazy. Whatever you do, you'll still be Joel the next day--that's not a bad thing.
--JAVAcounting time at the Coffee Shop
Hello Esmeralda (& Co on this thread)
What you experienced with your grandmother made me think of something I experienced a couple of weeks ago. My sister is going to visit us for the easter holidays. She is not going to stay at our house but in a summer cottage not far from our place.
(a little background first:
I have my problems with the WTS right now, and have had a couple of quite 'heated' discussions with my best friends in 'the truth' - and with my wife too. (that's about the WT-chronology a.s.o.). In the past 3-4 weeks I have been discussing with my wife what to do. She agrees with me that the chronology - and thereby great parts of what we believe - is wrong, but she won't do anything about it right now. I told her that I might stop attending the meetings in near future, as I can't stand it anymore. So that's where I am right now... maybe more on that in an intro at a later time (sorry for not introducing me before posting))
Now comes the story:
When my sister (she and I are 3. generation JW's) called and told us she would visit us for the easter-holiday, it made me so happy. We live about 500 miles apart (in diffenrent countries), and thus our families do no see each other very often. I am so much looking forward to see all of them.
Then I realized, that they will stay here on april, 8th - the day of the memorial. I know that she is nearly inactive as a JW and so is her husband.
But despite knowing that I asked THE QUESTION: "Well - you are going to attend the memorial with us, aren't you?!..."
I do not know why I asked the question - maybe some kind of a reflex. She didn't want to answer the question. But I asked her once again at the next occasion when she called to clear something about their holidays. This time she told me that they have been talking about coming. Ask me why I brought up the issue and asked them to come - I can't answer that question!
I do not feel comfortable: Here I am asking my sister and her family to attend the memorial and at the same time I am thinking about not to attend meetings in the future. She does not know (much) about my doubts, as I have kept them for myself through the years. I know about her problems - because she told me about them. But I did not want to be the reason why she would leave, by telling her, that I was thinking about leaving as well - even if it would be for other reasons. Sounds complicated? Well - it feels complicated too... And do I have to mention that my parents are active JW's and our little brother is too... How did JAVA put it: >>>>Easy answers seldom work for difficult situations, and families ALWAYS make situations difficult! Add the Watchtower to the mix, and things go from difficult to crazy.<<<<<
My heartfelt thoughts to all of you, who are having their problems with that very issue - the memorial and attending/not attending. I hope for all of you that you will be able deal with these problems and find a way out - one way or the other...
(sorry for telling a long story)
I have just met you , but I love you. You share yourself with us so openly and honestly, I appreciate it so much. Like you, the words I want to tell you are stuck in a lump in my throat, released by the tears rolling down my cheeks. (((HUGS)))
Welcome I visited my parents during the memorial after I had been inactive for 2 years. I didn't realize the timing and was staying with them. I went out of respect, but felt nothing the whole time I was sitting there. If it this happened now I know that I would refuse to go now. I have changed, my views on the org are the same, but my heart has changed about my stand to them about them. I have visited with them twice since this time, and was invited to meetings. I of course refused and was met with little resistance. But I still get the call every year to see if I am going. Nothing so far...maybe they gave up.
Sounds complicated? Well - it feels complicated too...
I can understand what you are saying...and couldn't of said it better myself. I hope you can find some peace and come to a decision that will make you happy. If you are happy in your decisions, you can face anything.
If you go.......
Wear a green ribbon to call attention to Child abuse month in honor of those that cant speak!
>Not that she's falling for it. She asked me recently, "Mom, how can
>they say there's gonna be a new world? How do they know that? No one
Oh really, no one?
"But there are new heavens and a _new earth_ that we are awaiting _according to his promise_, and in these righteousness is to dwell."
-2 Peter 3:13
>Smart kid, my little girl.
Very smart yes :) And you're perfectly happy with calling God a liar. Nice going Essie. You're on thin ice.
READ THAT BIBLE for once.