JW ended a relationship with me

V1922

My JW boyfriend just ended a year and a half relationship with me. It came out the blue and I'm deeply hurt by this because we were so compatible. He did it right before the big annual gathering he is presently attending. I thought this man truly loved me and I had not dated and was celibate two years before dating him. He recently said he was so unhappy with his life but he didn't mind having sex with me and going out to social events, concerts, etc. I even let him come around my children. I guess I'm trying to find a way to get over him or try to understand why did he even bother with me in the first place????? I feel like he has done this before with other women because one woman confronted me on social media about how they were in a relationship then dumped her for me. This man is leaving a "a wake of dead bodies" (women that he has played this game with). What type of religion condones the type of rationale to deceive people and if you don't follow them they just up and throw you away?????

PaintedToeNail

V1922-I am sorry that you are experiencing this pain. The man you were dating was/is not a practicing JW. They are not to date people who are not fellow JW's, and certainly not have sex with them before marriage. He may be a serial dater of non-JW women, knowing that they will 'put out'. Where a practicing, real JW woman wouldn't unless she got carried away in the moment and then would feel tremendous guilt and turn herself in to be judged by the elders in the congregation. She would be facing possible disfellowshipping which would result in total shunning. By all standards, if your boyfriend was a practicing JW he should be disfellowshipped.

If you want to get even with him for being a selfish cad, report him to the elders in his local congregation. That should strike fear into his shallow heart.

oppostate

The best and worst thing you could do to this sleezo is call up the local KH during a Sunday morning and ask to speak to an elder about a very serious matter.

When you get an elder on the phone tell him it's regarding so-and-so, give the elder the name and ask if he's a member in that congregation and if not ask how you can contact an elder in his congregation.

When you get an elder of the right congregation you tell him that you'd been having a sexual relationship with this man and that you've found out you weren't the only one and you're upset about his selfish and opportunistic way of using women for sex and dumping them later.

Tell them you are well aware, as are others, that he is a JW and he's comporting himself in this way. Ask him to look into this and that you would like to follow up with this elder in two to four weeks time.

campaign of hate

There is a line between casual relationship (what he probably wanted) and a full blown relationship (what you wanted and what happened)

The thing with JW guys though, is they have marriage marriage marriage drummed into their heads so much, that he probably doesn't know how to undertake a casual relationship.

So he ends up dating a good women like yourself and rationalizes with himself that it's OK because he would be thinking about marriage. Breaking some rules, but wouldn't get him kicked out of the religion.

Then the whole issue of sex comes up. He get's frustrated and inevitably (as the path of relationships go) you have sex.

That's when his guilt will kick in, and he'll just end up believing that this is a casual relationship, because in his mind, the only sex you have before marriage is "casual". But the kicker is, he doesn't want a casual relationship, he thinks he wants to get married. This is because in the JW religion, you don't date anyone unless you want to marry them.

So he breaks it off with you, probably because of guilt, and a lot of it is JW conditioning for him to think in a certain way.

The guilt will wear off, and he will (probably) do it again to another women, with the same end results as yourself.

And the whole cycle goes round and round and round....

That is a very basic explanation.

rebelfighter

V1922 did your boyfriend hold a position in the Kingdom Hall?

And did you ever attend any events at the KH with him?

John Aquila

What type of religion condones the type of rationale to deceive people and if you don't follow them they just up and throw you away?????

The Watchtower Religion.

Don't ever date a Jehovah Witness again. It will bring nothing but trouble and regret.

The Searcher

If you know where his Kingdom Hall is, pay a visit on Sunday morning!!

That will get things rolling.

LisaRose

I am sorry this idiot treated you like that. It's a cult. Your boyfriend is being manipulated by a cult. They believe they are the only true religion and that the world is ending soon and anyone that is not a JW will die. They practice shunning and anyone who engages in sex outside of marriage can be disfellowshipped and shunned. This creates havoc in the life of anyone that gets involved with a JW. They may have fun outside of their rules, but inevitably they feel guilty and go back or get caught.

As hurtful as this is, you are probably better off without him. Unless you were to convert he will probably not want to marry you and you do not want to convert, trust us on that. Your boyfriend does not know it's a cult and will probably deny that it could be, so chances of him leaving are not good. The Watchtower would always be the third wheel in the relationship.

Anyway, if he dumped one girlfriend for you he would probably have eventually dumped you for someone else, so he was probably not the one for you anyway. You would probably be better off with someone that does not have all this baggage.

joe134cd

Honestly to me it sounds like a case of some one who although he identifies with a certain religion may not in reality be a practicing member. If he is a practicing JW then he has got some very serious explaining to do. I think you have got 2 reason to be greatfull here.

(1)The guy certainly has low moral integrity. He was playing you while at the same time playing the religion - and that's if he is a practicing member and probably doesn't want to get disfellowshipped.

(2) Time and time again on here we have heard reports of ones who have got involved with a DFed inactive JW just to have them latter decide to reactive again, and boy oh boy that's when the problems start. When these types of posts come up most here would probably advise against getting involved with anyone who has been involved in the religion - particularly if they are a born in and have close family ties to it.

If you feel pissed off enough to do it. Turn up to his meeting one Sunday, and report his arse to the elders. But this is totally your call.

sparrowdown

This guy is a member of a misogynistic religion, be glad he didn't try and convert you.

If you think he was bad imagine a entire religion of them. That's JWs.

JW ended a relationship with me

Share this