more useless shunning

myself

My brother and his family have taken it upon themseves to judge my unbaptized daughter (16 years old). They did not have the guts to tell her personally, but instead chose to do so thru her jdub father (who in turn didn't tell her), and a cousin who did let her know. This cousin stands by her and remains very close to her.

We set up a phone call so they would have to tell her themselves, and yes I taped it! They had many excuses none in my opnion were scriptural nor valid. It is another case of no control. What a shame. My daughter once thought of her uncle and aunt as another set of parents. She is coping well after the initial shock that they could be so hateful, but she has learned such is life, it is time to move on.

My next post is my letter to them, it is legnthy due to the need to address their reasons for shunning. I found out after I sent it that they have gone camping. so much for timing LOL

joannadandy

How awful myself!! That they could be so cruel to someone so young who has no say in the matter. JOIN US OR DIE...yes that is such a healthy attitude. I am glad to hear her cousin is standing by her, and she is taking it as well as can be expected. My thoughts are with her...

myself

joannadandy, thank you! I am going to show her the support she is receiving. I want her to realize that she does not have to settle for conditional love. She is a great kid.

Beck_Melbourne

((((myself and daughter))))

Sorry your dub family members are taking this stand.

It gets easier as the years go by...you grow to accept their choice and you learn to live with it.

The best thing you can do for your daughter right now is to get on with life despite the fact that there are now gaps in it. The gaps these people leave in our lives are not hazardous...life can be just as rewarding WITHOUT them. Show them you and your daughter don't need them to enjoy life...because you don't need them. Encourage your daughter to make new friends. This doesn't come easy considering our old practice to avoid worldies...but it does get easier in time. Encourage her not to focus on yesterday, but to look forward to tomorrow.

Your relative's reasons for shunning her is not scriptural since she is not in a baptised state...this makes me think that maybe it is personal...and they probably regard her as a bad associate. With this in mind, you definitely do not need these people.

Hugs to you both.

~Beck~

Jesika

I am glad your daughter is coping with this situation well. Please send my love and best wishes to her.

Jes

myself

((((((Beck)))))) she has been expecting this for awhile. She has another cousin that she is very close to and this cousin has been one of her most supportive allies, unfotunately the three girls were at one time very close. She has learned in the past few years to make friends. Friends-good! Conditional love-BAD! LOL Thanks Beck

Jes, she is sharing these posts with me tonight she says: (((((((Jesika))))) thanks, we are now seeing what true friendship and christian love means.

A Paduan

This may not sound good, but in a way I'm glad for her - you could tell her and tell her - but now she knows - so does the cousin.

Buster

I swear there is no one more judgemental than the self-righteous. I once read a quote or some such that went something like 'What is worse, evil or self-rightousness? A: Self-righteousness, becase it is untended by a conscience.' You would be hard-pressed to find someone else that would treat your daughter like that. (I read the letter too)

I find it amazing how her father reacted - just didn't tell her. As a father, I know some of the things I've given up for my children - especially my 16-yr-old daughter. Is her father that immasculated by the JW pressure? He couldn't stand up for her? Tell her what she was up against and stand by her? Truth be told, I'm not that surprised - Its SOP for those people.

ugg

i think it is so awful....it is hard enough being a kid with out this added crap!!!! it is cruel!

LizardSnot

((((myself)))

I am so sorry that your daughter has to suffer such cruelty. It makes me sick to my stomach...

The kind of treatment she is getting...is not something that anyone should ever have to go thru in the process of growing up...nor should she EVER have to go thru that.

I would like just one person to show me an example of Christ shunning people when he walked the earth...

...still cant believe dubs call themselves Christians...doesnt make sense.

I'm sure you've explained to her that its not her fault and for those who shun her....its really their loss and not hers. It is still family and it hurts tho'...but she needs to know that she is not to blame.

God Bless you both,

Lizard

more useless shunning

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