by minimus 34 Replies latest jw friends
I think it was fairly simple for me. I never felt like I fit in with any of them. Yeah I went to the "get togethers", played sports w/them on weekends, went out in service, etc, but it never felt genuine to me even from an early age. So I guess when the vehicle to leave my parents presented itself I grabbed that chance...luckier than some I suppose.
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
It took many years for me to admit to myself that i wasn't a happy jw. I had faithfully followed their formula for happiness for years. After i accepted that fact, i dropped out of the robotic mind control. I started to think and question. It took only a year or so for ray franz' book to be recommended to me. That was all it took.
Willdabeerman
jumped up and pointed to each of em and said and i quote..."fuck you,fuck you,fuck you and mother fuck you"..walked out the kh
Hey,that's quite a refutation of all their arguments and all their authority. You could be a modern day prophet, in the manner of isaiah, or wearing the mantle of elijah. ROTFLMAO!
SS
(((((((((Valish))))))))) Same for me, I didn't fit in. Never was accepted into the clique, no matter how many times I went out in service or invited the pioneers to my house for dinner. Got the token invites, but felt uncomfortable being around them. It was really easy to leave, just took a while to get deprogrammed.
WILD MAN', woo! you told 'em! ..... I think I always had ??? I used to read apostate books at the library when I was a kid. The real issue though, for me, has to be the total consistent inconsistentcies that the Society is known for. They are far from the truth.
The first step for leaving the JWS (I will NOT call it the truth.) for me was realizing that the Governing Body is not what they claimed to be.
You know, Gods spokesmen and all.
Learning about the changes in teachings over the years added another reason to doubt the WTS.
Learning that people had died because of their false teachings was something I could not excuse. (Organ transplants)
And then to find out that these people had died for nothing because the WTS changed thier mind on that teaching a few years later.
The fact that the WTS considers selling, placing or distributing litterature the most important 'work' that a Christian can do just didn't jive.
What about feeding the poor, helping the hopeless, ect...?
To the WTS, these 'works' were a waste of time.
And of course we can't leave out the false prophecies, the unChristian behavior, the worshipping of the Governing Body.
Yes, I call it worshipping because the faithful JW will do and believe anything the Governing Body wants them to do.
Including letting thier children die refusing blood transfusions.
Which teaching is only based on thier (WTS) understanding of what the scripture means.
And then the final question I had to ask myself.
Can I go door to door telling people that they must become a JW to be saved at Armageddon?
No I could no longer tell people that the WTS has all the answers and they were Gods orginization.
The facts spoke for themselves.
That is why the WTS doesn't want thier followers looking at apostate sites and talking to any that don't believe in the WTS.
Because they can't dispute the facts.
neyank
Why have i left? Well, i can truthfully say it never had anything to do with any "apostate material". I never touched the stuff-JW had me throughly brainwashed to not read it. I got my ideas all by myself. I stayed with it for soooo long b/c I was raised in it and "where else could i go"(that one sttement really hung in my brain. I endured all sort of mistreatment form elders. It is a lie that they try and help people who have problems. I had a bro tell me to quit tellling people i was a jw. i was bringing disgrace on jehovahs's name. Even this did not make me quit. But one day, a sis was privately reproved for adultry(however lost no provilges) and her x remarried in another kh in good standing. They never annouced anything-even thugh it was obivious to all that the marriage bond had been broken by one of them-and since the x was allowed to remarry in good standing-well it had to be the sis. So one day she just shows up with new husband-and they fall all over themselfs to welcome her and him. I wnet to an elder and really complained. Why was theis sis not d/f? all knew something had broken up their marriage. I was told to mind my own business. That was it for me. I walked out of the hall and from then on the only time i went back was for memorial (old habits die hard) and eventually to take my loyal mother to hall on sundays. I had an elder recently ask me to come back. i said"when u guys apologize for destroying my life" he told me i had to for give the elders or i could not expect forgiveness. Just recently i got the courage to read aposte material. Some of it is whinnning and bitching. But not all. I never realized all the prophery stuff and feel like a fool now for ever beleivng it. I got the book on COC and have to hide and read it(my husband it still a jw ,we have discusssed this and he refused to read anything and would be appaled if he knew i had COC). I can't celebrate holidays-my husband taunts me with"So i guess now u won't to celebrate xmas?" Just today one of my sons was over and he tells me what a hole he has in his soul not being able to be like the other kids . I have apoligized and i am trying to help him now as much as i can. In the name of religion i put my children thrjough things he cannot get over. He said he knew age 6 it was not for him. he told me years ago "no religion that tears families apart could be good" I wished i had listend to him then. I was so ill(both physically and emotionally) I also credit my therapist with helping me. In the beginning i would not even listen to him Only if what i was told came from the elders would i acept it. Through his kindess and help-thank goodness i finally begin to hear his words. he helped me get enough self esteem to leave.
I have no idea where i am going to now. I am in a state of fluke now. i still pray, I still fear i may be making a mistake, i i most of all fear i will be confronted with looking at apostate material. I well know, it will be cut and dry. they will not listen to anything
don't ever write the society-they only forward it to your local cong.
Edited by - wednesday on 19 October 2002 19:2:18
Other things that helped me,to realize,not to read the NWT of the bible.Just little words and the way they word some of the scriptures,changes it.I read the bible with an opened mind and read it without WT lit.
I go to this other website and another person on the site brought up this subject of the pure languge.In the WT they reversed scriptures that the pure languge would be taught before the denunciation.zephaniah 3:8-9
In the WT they have 9 first ,than 8.
Got to watch them,they are sneaky
I found this web-site 587-607BCE or something like that I was actually doing research for a talk and I wanted to use information other than WT articles, I was being Studious for once. That was like the straw that broke the camels back. Looking back other things always bothered me but I just kept pushing my gut feelings aside, telling myself it was satan tryng to tempt me. I studied for like 5 years before I got baptised. It was hard for me to conform. I was raised to be an independent women and as you are well aware that is not a good JW wife (independent). I tried to be a "good wife for around 3-4 years after I got baptised, then well the old me kept creeping back in I got back in the work force into the real world and slowly got my life and the real me back. I was in for a total of 11 years baptised. You know what guys I like the real me so much better, I'm much happier.
I also remember a great site called Shaun's Research. Is she still around?
Wednesday,
I know almost exactly how you are feeling, in a state of flux, not knowing where to go next, waiting to be 'outed' and possibly DF'd. So just hang in there. Don't give them any rope, and there will be little they can do. My wife is very suspicious, and if she found out I am on this board, I have no doubt she would run screaming to the elders.
Some people can keep up a charade for years, going to meetings, out in service, etc. I can't. I won't.
I have better things to do with my life.
