What can a mother do??

by Tish 17 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Sentinel


    Oh my dear, this is such a heart-tugging thing you are going through. You know what is best for your son, and going to those meetings is not what he needs. He needs to make new friends and build new relationships, healthy ones.

    Children understand only so much when they are young. They cling to the familiar, and his JW buddies are the "familiar". He will be sad for awhile, and will bug you about it, but if you remain steadfast and determined, and basically "ignore" his desires, things will calm down. (It's sort of like moving away to a whole new neighborhood and new school--he will adjust, it just takes time.) Be glad that he has not intered puberty yet, as those times can be totally caotic, with raging hormones to deal with as well. He is still young enough that you can see him through this to the other side. It will be okay.

    You just have to show him that you are strong. Most kids fear Armageddon. What a horrible way to control people and children--through fear. Gradually, as you become stronger, so will he. I think it's amazing that your six year old is already right by your side on this.

    If you begin meeting your neighbors and socializing a bit, and getting to know your son's teacher, students and parents, a whole new network will open up for good associations that will help him to heal.

    I will be thinking of you. Please keep us posted.

    Love and Light,


    Edited by - Sentinel on 14 October 2002 18:45:26

  • jgnat

    Tish, it sounds like you are a really great parent. You have received some excellent advice here, I have nothing to add on how to raise your children. Do remember to give a moment to yourself. You said,

    I hate at the moment not knowing the answers like I used to think I did. May be one day i will.
    I suspect you are well on your way to discovering this for yourself, but real life does not have simple answers. Simple answers pre-thought out for you truly is like baby food, and it can be very comforting if that is all you have been fed. Sink your teeth in to some of the big questions of life. Don't let go. Don't stop questioning. Check out the answers for yourself. Does it ring true? Get in touch with your inner conscience. I promise that real life and real answers have far more texture, are more flavourful, and more fulfilling than bi-weekly pre-digested material.
  • JT

    aFTER READING all the post all i can say is JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!

    THIS IS the very reason why the NET "THANG" is so important, here we have a typical person who is at a cross road and unlike years ago WOULD HAVE NO WHERE TO GO/ no one to ask and no one to bouce anything off-

    and within minutes a ton of excellent suggestions, tips and hugs have just flooded

    Tish you have folks here who truly want to see you and the kids make it to a NORMAL LIFE AFTER WT AND YOU CAN AND YOU WILL

    all the suggestion are just so good and i agree get THAT BOY INVOLVED IN SOME THINGS THAT 8 yr olds need to do, if you have a new man get that man to take him to sports soccer, baseball etc

    he is a kid and no kid should be OUT SELLING BOOKS FOR A CORPORTION AT 8YR OF AGE

    it is against almost every child labor law in almost all countries and yet that is what I did and so many others did on sat mornng we were out working for an American Corp.

    you son will be fine don't DOG THE JW but instead show him a NEW WAY OF LIVING

    if you want to continue using the bible that is your call, but no kid at that age is interested in the bible for the most part

    jw kids from the time they can breath are feed a diet of wt dogma-

    go to every school program, ON meeting nights repalce them witH FUN NIGHT

    on sat morings go to the zoo, amusement parks, circus, museum, TAKE him to see his cousins and aunt uncles grandad ESP IF THEY ARE NOT JW

    DON'T FORCE the holidays on him but fill his little life with all the things that so many of us NEVER HAD

    I am a 40yr black man who started selling wt at age 5 i was 36 when i got out and i love it

    as i say now my wife and i can lay in the bed on Sunday morning and read the Washington Post in OUR DRAWERS


    take full advantage of the NET "THANG"

  • ugg

    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( tish )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

  • breeze

    Just get him involved in something else......

    Kids have many things that can divert their attention....soccer, school friends, computer games, trips, new friends, organized stuff/like boy scouts...etc....

    The kid thing is the toughest.....no doubt....

    I would stay away from discussing religious isses with him for a long while....if he is really interested in the doctrines I suppose my idea won't work, but I think he is just missing his friends, I know that I do.....!!!



  • LyinEyes

    Tish , I have 3 kids, son, 15 , daughter 9, and son 8. When we left the JW, a year ago, my youngest son was hit the hardest. He was always questioning about armeggedon and if we still love Jehovah. He is still the most spiritual one of the kids. Tonight at the dinner table, he asked his dad to say the prayer, which he did.

    My daughter hated the meetings and still gets mad that she had to sit for a whole day on her birthday at a circuit assembly. Once she had her first birthday she was mad,, LOL now she knew what she had been missing.

    My oldest son, says he misses some of the old friends at the hall, but doesnt want to go back.

    The kids are looking forward to going trick or treat this year and Thanksgiving, Xmas, etc.

    There were no kids in our hall, so they dont miss other kids. They still play with their neighborhood kids and I make a point of having sleep overs and other activities for them.

    My youngest son needs to know that we still love Jehovah, even thou deep in my heart I don't know what I feel for sure. But what can it hurt to keep their love for God and Jesus alive, and let them go with their own hearts. I don't force them to pray, I don't tell them God will be mad if they do something wrong. In fact I always tell them God is smiling at them for being sweet or kind to someone. I tell them I bet Jesus would have done it this way or that way.

    Being a JW child , mainly you have a FEAR of God more than a deep love for him. The kids are afraid if they don't love him enought they will get hit with a hail stone.

    I tell my son, that if the world ends, God will know we are good and will protect us, and never fear about all of that, because Jesus died for us to be saved.

    That seems to settle their fears and lets them build a relationship with God on their own terms, and not on the WT's terms.

  • AwakenedAndFree

    Dear Tish,

    It is so beautiful that your son is interested in the Bible. Please remember the Bible's admonishing us to instill God's Word in our children.

    ISAIAH: 54:13:" And all your sons will be persons taught by Jehovah, and the peace of your sons will be abundant."

    Christian Love,


  • kelpie


    I know it must be hard for you. What you need to remember is you did the right thing by leaving the borg but all the other people have said get him into something new.

    I don't think it is just children that feel this rench. I soo miss the fellowship and association I got from going to meetings.

    Moving to a new city like I have makes it even harder because I know no one so I have now expand my group of friends and find social activities to do.

    I know it will work out. You dont have to discourage your son from believing in God, just making sure what he believes is right.

Share this