On the Verge of Leaving the Testigos

by Coqui 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus

    Patriot...Good to hear from you again!!!

  • Coqui


    Gracias por responder! No soy Boriqua pero en mi corazon soy Boriqua. Felicidades por tu decision y SUERTE or GOOD LUCK (can I say that?) Claro que son chismosos!! Viviendo por la gente.

    With regards to the christmas tree/holidays, I want to be able to have my tree, do things freely ie. open my door when the tree is dispalyed and not worryt if two men in suits are going to knock knock my door. And if they do where does all of this go?

    I now see and understand if one DA himself one is still playing by the WTS rules, but isn't that better than being DF'ed for my Christmas tree etc.

    Again, what happens to our name if we just start life again as FREE PEOPLE and don't DA or meet formally with the elders?


  • johnny cip
    johnny cip

    coqui;;; whats the problem ??? you have next to no family in the wt...at this point i play the shit out of them... when they come ...i would say please wait at the door i have diareihha and have to go right now...and leave them standing at the door.. for hours and put on the stereo loud so you can't here the door bell.. i would let them keep coming to your house ..and make an excuse to leave them standing at a closed door. ... if it comes to the point were they are pestering your family.. i would keep them at the door and go inside and call the police. when the police came tell them these people are harrassing my family ...and if they continue this i want them locked up...that will be the end .. trust me i went through this with the police... tell them if any jw's fuck with my family you are going to get a court order of protection against them....this is your right ...under law... at least in new york it is.. jw's are scared shit of the law...they don't like when you use it against them...get the cops at your door one time when they are there ...and you will never hear from them again....make them shit in their pants... it will work....have fun screwing them.....john

  • rwagoner


    I DA'd years ago because I thought it was the truthful, non-hippo thing to do. I thought that if I didn't Openly and Truthfully take the bull by the horns so to speak, then I was no better than them.

    Now I know that some may not like the next few statements but they are how I feel. I know lots of others who have faded away and while I respect their decision it still bugs me sometimes that I stepped up and "left" while they fly under the radar. To me, if you want to enjoy the freedom of being "out" then step up, DA and "leave the faith". The decision to follow the JW's rules and shun me is in the hands of friends and family. They chose the Organization over family, not me. I have been truthful and public about my feelings, I don't need to hide behind curtains. I put 1000s of xmas lights on my house, have a huge American Flag in the yard and Vote in every election.

    Do I pay a price every day for my decision ? You bet. My parents who are still on the inside shun me but that is their decision, not mine.

    This is just my opinion and I certainly don't mean to belittle or disrespect those who choose to fade away but for me personally it was not the right thing.


  • AjaxMan


    I was involved with a JW girl and I dealt with enough mierda from her, her family and people from her congregation.


  • A Paduan
    A Paduan

    If you would be free of them, you would take pride in your position.

    If that be the case - go straight around to whoever your taskmaster was and take a witness or two introduced As your witness/es. Plainly and succinctly say that you and your family do not believe their religion and it is your very express wish that they not visit or approach you or your family on the matter ever again - and don't use their lingo, like da or stuff.

    Then go home and do whatever you want to in your own window from that day forth.


    Edited by - a paduan on 6 October 2002 19:11:20

  • Sabine

    Buenvenido Coqui,

    Can you believe I only spoke Spanish till I went to first grade, and now I can hardly read a few sentences in Spanish...anyway, if you have kids, all I can say is leave as soon as possible, anyway you can. If you read my bio you'll see why I'm so passionate about this.

    My family choose not to disassociate, but in our position, it is mostly to say "we don't care what your stupid rules are, you have no power over us." I have also verbalized to several local active jws and elders that if they try to disfellowship us there will be legal action. It was only to spare our surviving son mental anguish that we didn't pursue a wrongful death lawsuit...if they push us any little way, we will sue their culos....

    I wish you and your family all the best.


  • Francois

    You cannot be walked on unless you lie down first.

    I suggest you do as others here have already said, "Make up your own rules and then play your game with them." If you do as they say you should do when you are leaving, you're playing by their rules and thier rules are made up to make sure THEY always win.

    If it were me I would EASE on out, and never, ever answer any of their questions. Never let them in my house, especially with no appointment. Never let them butt into my life. Just LEAVE.

    If you mistakenly got involved with a group of criminal cyclists, you'd leave without a word wouldn't you? So why be any different with a group of organized child abusers and false prophets?


  • jurs

    I DA'd myself and am happy that I chose that way. It has enabled me to openly live my life. You will loose friends but the freedom you'll gain is worth the loss. jurs

  • outnfree

    Welcome to the Board, Coqui!

    I, too, DA'd myself. I wrote a brief letter, threatening them legally if they slandered my good name in any way, and made sure I was there and SMILING when they read the announcement to the congregation. I didn't feel like I was kowtowing to them by doing it according to JW procedure. I felt like I was taking my future in my own hands while at the same time declaring to the congregation that I had done nothing illegal or immoral. I wanted it to be clear that *I* was done with *them* and not the other way around. I am content with my decision 1-1/2 years later.

    I, like you, had no family to speak of in the organization -- just a sister-in-law who was/is inactive and living 600 miles away. So I did not need to consider how I would deal with relatives and shunning.

    Just do whatever feels right to YOU (AND your wife! ). How old are your kids? Maybe encourage your wife to get involved at school with other parents so she won't feel so badly when those half-hearted 'friends' cut her dead. The hard part for me is that I moved to my present home and for 9 years didn't make any friends outside of the congregation. Now I have NO social life, because I didn't try to create friendships with some very nice people I had met at school, because they were 'worldly'. Same thing with people my husband (never a JW) brought home to dinner from work. So I have friendly relations with many acquaintances, but only one local friend -- a DF'd sister with whom I already had a close relationship. She's the best, but I still wish I had more options.

    I wish you luck (YES! We can say that now! LOL) with whatever you decide.


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