Did you or do you now feel that because you were in the organization you could have gone crazy?
Did The Organization MAKE YOU GO NUTS???
I must have been crazy before. I became a dub in my mid forties, afterall.
Sometimes, being a little crazy helps me make it through the day
The convenient thing to do is blame everything on the organization.
Actually, growing up with an abusive, life-threatening father made me strong and more than capable of handling the craziness the JWs hand out. I could almost thank him for that. It's amazing what it is like to live with a sociopath. They have very strange reasoning paths, sort of like.....elders.
I think it just made me go stupid
I thought I was crazy. Then I realized I was in Oklahoma.
I realized at 16 that if I didn't watch myself closely that I would become a fruitcake. So, I watched myself closely and still became a fruitcake.
I have been a little crazy all day, thinking about God, prayer, nature, and a bunch of other things. I mowed the yard and my mind goes the whole time I am mowing.
I tried to understand why God made humans. Was it to just have somthing to worship him, was it to have mankind enjoy life or just suffer from all the bad things that happen until we die?
I was thinking of prayer as practiced in JWdom. We never prayed for anything we desired but only what might further the vindication of Jah's name. We couldn't pray for God to save our mother from cancer, or for a better job, or anything helpful to us. Only for God's will to be done, which is stupid if he is what he claims, as his will must be done if he is omnipotent.
Why would we be so important to him that he would sacrifice his son, and why would any of his intelligent creatures be more important than others, just because he was the first one made. Who's genes did Christ have? Did any of Mary's genes count for anything? Does only the male sperm count in producing life, since Mary provided the egg and produced the baby, but God was given credit for the man Jesus?
My mind goes crazy sometimes when I try to figure out life and the WHY of it all.
The nutty old man.
I've always felt that I was a little whacked out; can't give the org credit for that.
In all honesty I do think the chaos cognative dissonance as the shrinks call it did make me a little crazy. I was an angry person all the time I was in the borg.
I am out now and no longer that angry person I once was. I don't blame everything on the borg because I think if I had a different personality the borg would not have had that affect on me.
All I know for sure is that I am a VERY different person today.