Ok just to cover my bum, I am not against marriage per-say. So all you happily married folk leave me alone. I am sufficently single and bitter at your happiness.
However, I am against marriage when a dear friend of mine is married to a worthless sponge.
Today I got an IM out of the blue from a friend of mine who I lost touch with a couple years ago. She and I were both quite fed up with the dub mentality. We had only known nasty evil elder wives, horrible teens who did drugs and stole car stereos, but were viewed as superior to us because we didn't go out in service as much as they did. She was diagnosed with diabetes (at 20--that's pretty scary) and stopped being a regular pioneer. To which the elders crabbed at her for letting a minor thing like a major health problem effect her spirituality. That was her final straw. She and I spent hours talking about how awful the Borg was and swore to never look back. She began dating a worldly guy and quit meetings all together. I on the other head decided to try my hand at this "Doubl-life" stuff I had read so much about in young people ask. (Don't knock it till you tried it--ok I take that back, it was awful, I was a guilt ridden mess (first for being untrue to the Dubs, then for being untrue to myself))
Anywho-She ended up really falling for this guy. I could never figure out why. He was a sponge. She met him off the internet. They went out twice. Their third date he moved in with her because his roomates were kicking him out and he needed a place to stay "temporarily" (Anyone see any red flags yet?)
Fastforward again. Our friendship was on the rocks cuz I hated this guy. He had three kids from two different women--couldn't pay child support, wasn't working, major pot head, quit any little part-time job he had cuz it wasn't "his style", so my friend had to take extra jobs to help pay for her temorary guest who she happened to be madly in love with.
She and I drifted further and further apart. I met her for a drink one night before I left on vacation. Things were not good with him. She was thinking of breaking up with him. I said "DO IT!" She said "Yeah, but he can be sweet, I can't blame him for the tough spot he is in now" me: "LEAVE HIM!" She chuckled, "Don't worry I am giving it some very serious thought, and he has to do a lot of work to convince me to stay with him. We are going to have a long talk"
I never did find out how that talk went. When I came back from my trip to Florida two weeks later, they were married.
We talked on the phone, but I never visted her once while they were married. I was furious. After all the tears she had shed over this guy, after all the talk we had had about her leaving him, she went and married him! Maybe I was bitter. I do feel guilty for abandoning her like that, but in my mind she had made her choice, and it was one I could not in good faith support.
Fastforward to tonight. I get an IM out of nowhere from her. We exchange pleasantries. She has been re-instated. (no comment) Over and over she kept saying how married life was hard. I made no mention other than "yeah that's what I hear". Biting my tongue. Then she said; "Don't ever get married--it's too hard...honestly I am thinking about doing the D-word" Well I couldn't bite my tongue anymore. I told her all about what a crap head I thought he was, how I stopped hanging out with her because of him and I always thought she could do better and I hated to see how he brought her down. He did bring her down!! I haven't even told you all the half of it!
She told me she had been praying about it. (no comment) And that she thought I was right. She appreciated my honesty, and she really needed support from someone. (Go figure all our dub friends still won't speak to her even tho she has been re-instated since Feb, because she is married to an unbeliever--what is that scriptural encouragement the brothers always give about single parents, those married to unbelievers, and what not?? -- typical dub crap, (and yes I did say that to her too) but she ignored that comment). She said she was so glad she ran into me tonight. Meanwhile I kept chanting "DIVORCE, DIVORCE, DIVORCE!" Maybe my advice will sink in this time. And maybe God does answer prayers--he sent me to her tonight to convince her to get a divorce. Hahaha--wonder what the elders would make of that?
Meanwhile, after she dumps his ass, then I will try to get her disfellowshipped/disassociated again, so she can join me on the dark side! HA! And to do that, all I will need to do is be the true friend to her, that dubs refuse/can never be. I'm not going to turn my back on her again, that's for damn sure....
(Sorry guys, I just had to vent)