Elders/former Elders, help with this?

by wasasister 11 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  wasasister

  Actually, I don't care if you ever were an elder if you can find the appropriate reference in the WT for the following situation:

  With all the discussion lately about the need for "two witnesses" to make an accusation valid, I've been thinking about divorce (and ultimately, remarriage) on the grounds of adultery. In most cases, an adulterous mate does not commit the deed in public. Either they are caught in the act, or admit to it later. Wasn't there something written (within the past 10 years) about an admission of adultery by one mate being as good as "from the mouth of two witnesses"?? I recall there was something about a mate being completely convinced that the act had taken place, even where there was no conclusive evidence. The same article also speculated about an erring mate who admitted adultery to the innocent mate, and later refused to confess to the elders.

  Is my memory foggy, or was this ever put in writing? Can anyone give me the reference? I have a good friend who is in this exact situation and may be able to avoid being disfellowshipped if she can find the publication and quote it to the elders.

  Thanks in advance for your help.
• 

  Englishman

  Wasasister,

  I was a MS way back, the only thing that I can recall is that if your mate was unfaithfull and you knew about it, subsequent nookies between married partners meant that you had forgiven him/her, so divorce was no longer possible.

  Englishman.
• 

  wasasister

  Yes, I remember that little "forgiveness" loophole. You are probably aware that many a Witness husband coerced an act of intimacy with their wife after the fact, thus claiming they had been forgiven and nullifying grounds for scriptural divorce.

  No, I'm talking about an instance where one mate admits to the act, even where there are no "two witnesses."

  Thanks for your reply.
• 

  TMS

  Your memory is correct. An "innocent" mate, whose partner had confessed adultery privately, could indeed take divorce action. Even, if unable to substantiate the charges legally, necessitating filing the divorce on alternate grounds, she could file a letter with the elders specifying the "real" reason her marriage was ending. The thinking was that the mate taking such action, would ultimately "answer to Jehovah" if her actions were fraudulent.

  I'm sure someone will come up with the references, if you really need them.

  TMS
• 

  ozziepost

  If you, or your elders, were to write to Bethel about this, the Service Department would base their reply on the following:

  ======================================================================
  EVIDENCE OF ADULTERY OR PORNEIA

  1. Admission of guilt to the elders by the one charged with adultery.

  2. At least two witnesses (reliable) preferably witnesses to the
  same incident. (strong circumstantial evidence but not positive
  proof), -Deut. 19:15; John 8:17.

  3. Written statement by a Christian saying his unbelieving mate
  personally confessed that she committed adultery/porneia.
  - w77 pp607-8

  ======================================================================

  Source: Service Department files

  Tip: try for #3

  Cheers,

  Ozzie
• 

  JT

  on the money my man this is what she will be told

  . Written statement by a Christian saying his unbelieving mate
  personally confessed that she committed adultery/porneia.
  - w77 pp607-8
• 

  wasasister

  Many thanks. This is exactly what I needed.
  Gratefully,
  Wasa
• 

  jst2laws

  Wasasister,
  There is a catch. If the husband is not a baptized brother this is all that is needed. But if the husband (adultrous party) is a baptized brother this will not do, as an investigation will be made and a judicial committee will deal with the accused. Now, if the mate denies that he made the confession, it all fails. This was brought out at KMS school, and a letter I believe. Hope its not that sticky.
  jst2laws
• 

  Esmeralda

  Hi Was :)

  I want to respond to this post in e mail. Would you please send me your current e mail addy?

  Mine is still the same: [email protected]

  thanks
  Essie
• 

  RunningMan

  This policy had some very interesting ramifications.

  A relative of mine broke up with her husband. (Actually it was the husband who was
  the relative). He left and took up residence with a string of women, never bothering
  to get married. Anyway, 15 years pass, and the woman wants to get married.
  Unfortunately, her husband, although disfellowshipped, has never acknowledged
  any adultery. He was disfellowshipped for other sins. She, therefore, was not scripturally
  divorced, even though she was legally divorced for years.

  In order to prove adultery, an elder had to phone the husband, and ask him if he
  was indeed sleeping with the woman that he was living with. After he finished laughing,
  he hung up. So - still no scriptural divorce.

  Eventually, after several months of grief, the elders decided that, because his
  commonlaw arrangement was acknowledged by the community, it could be assumed
  that they were indeed having sex. She then got the divorce and remarried.

  Strange, but true - every word of it.